No Guy Is Comfortable Being in the "Friend Zone." Ruining What May Be the Best Relationship You Could Ever Have!

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All of us have been there at one point or another, in the "Friend Zone" and this applies to males and females both, but I am going to speak from a male, heterosexual perspective.

Let's begin. The so called "Friend Zone" I honestly believe is a farce and has destroyed the possibility of so many good relationships. The truth is no male ever wants to be in the Friend Zone of someone of the opposite sex. That is not who we are. Not all of us are necessarily thinking about sex, we are thinking about that right person we share so many interest in it.

Put yourself in a guy's shoes. You obviously enjoy talking to the guy and if you are friends chances are you are calling, emailing, texting, inboxing him on a regular basis. You often invite him over or you go over to his house and you enjoy spending tons of time with him. For a guy that means something and there is a real sense of connection that is occurring. Unless he is in another relationship, he has no strong desire just to be buddies with you. He wants more! He wants to be able to call you his girlfriend and some sense of commitment.

Instead and I don't mean this to sound mean, but what you are doing is having him take the job of what a potential boyfriend should be doing and that's wrong. You wouldn't be calling him, doing stuff with him so much if he wasn't at least meeting an emotional need you have. For you see that is the role of your same sex friends actually. Most women have female friends that they laugh and cry with and share personal stuff. It is healthy and good to have those types of friends. But when you find a male friend that you are doing the same things with you essentially are creating a male girlfriend! (I know that sounds weird). No guy wants to be that.

If he treats you with respect, listens to you fully, and is always doing things with you it is because he has real emotions and feelings toward you. He should not have to separate his feelings that he sees you in a romantic way or wants to have a relationship with you.

Case and point, why would you friend zone a guy you have a connection with on such a deep level and rule him out as a potential mate? He has many, if not all the qualities you are looking for in a potential partner. Instead many women tend to go looking outside their circle for some guy but then end up the first time they get into an argument with their boyfriend calling, texting, or going over to their "Friend Zone" guy. Huh? That is because your buddy, your pal, that friend zone guy meets your emotional need which is the most important thing you should seek in a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP.

The truth is it is not fair to that guy who desires more in you. You lean on him and show real emotion toward him yet you want him to separate his own feelings. You cannot expect a guy to ever be comfortable with that (with a few exceptions I am sure). He may stick around hoping things are going to change (and sometimes they do) but each and everyday he feels like he is having the life sucked out of him. If you are in a relationship with someone else, you also are doing a disservice to not only your friend but also the guy you are with because he is always going to realize in some ways he is competing with your "Friend Zone Guy" and the Friend Zone Guy actually is going to realize he is competing with him and probably wishing the relationship doesn't work out.

Unfortunately and this is hard because there are real emotions involved but guys if you are smart, you are going to walk away or at least scale back. Stop calling or texting so much, stop coming by. Every time you do you are causing yourself pain and it is destroying the chances of another relationship with someone who may see your value because your new girlfriend probably isn't going to be real thrilled with the fact you are actually more attached to your female friend than you are her.

By stepping away, a couple of things can happen. One, you are able to move on with your life. Yes you will miss your friend but you are never going to be happy just being in the friend zone. Even if you have come to terms with it, be honest, it doesn't make you happy! Second, after being apart for some time there is a chance your friend may come looking for you, begging you to be a part of their life again (once again showing real emotion for you). Now you have to be firm and tell them you miss them too but you are not content without exploring the relationship. If they still refuse, then you tell them that while you are sad, this is goodbye. I don't mean that to sound manipulative but the friend zone stuff is ridiculous.

Look at the success rate of relationships. Look at how many people keep jumping from relationship to relationship. Look at the divorce rate. Now look at the friend zone person who has remained loyal, that is who you should be redirecting your focus on. If it doesn't work long-term, at least you tried but by dismissing it from day one, you have possibly cheated yourself out of the greatest love you may ever find.