Sexual Relationships
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I love possessiveness and dominance of my boyfriend in my relationship

We're lead to believe by modern relationship experts that being possessive and dominant towards your partner are bad things. They are not.


I love it when my boyfriend acts possessive towards me, like when he strictly told me to not to talk to a guy, because he gets vibe from him that he's into me. When he was taking me out for lunch with his friends, he told me to not wear a top which he thought showed too much.

I love possessiveness and dominance of my boyfriend in my relationship

Any relationship 'expert' would immediately go berserk and say "oh my god, he's abusive, dump him!". I say otherwise.


My boyfriend told me not to do these things because he obviously cares about me. He doesn't want me to be ogled at and objectified. He doesn't want me to give wrong signals to that guy who is apparently into me.


You may say, but aren't you a grown adult to decide your own good? I am. But my boyfriend knows how other men think. I don't. Which is why he's guiding me through. My boyfriend is older than me, so there's age experience.


In bed he's completely in charge and oh my. That is the biggest turn on for me. He just pins me down and has his way with me. He gives me love bites in different places. He whispers how I'm only his and his, how lucky he is to have me in his life.


Before this, I dated a guy who was, frankly what we call a 'soyboy'. He never acted dominant towards me, was always like "its your choice, do whatever you want". I always felt something was missing. I didn't feel loved and cherished.


With my boyfriend though, I feel loved. I am a woman who doesn't take shit otherwise. When I'm at school and work, I have my strong woman mode on. I don't take anything lying down, have things done, protect myself. But when I'm with my boyfriend, I can shed that strong woman mode and be his sweet submissive girlfriend. Be protected by him. Let him take control. It makes me feel feminine.


You see, I feel that women in general are not wired to take control. They can take control of need be, but they can't keep it going for long. They need to relax a bit and get out of that shell of strong woman once in a while.

But the way things are going where people are made to act against their nature... I'm worried. A guy taking control in relationship is deemed as toxic masculinity. A girl who loves being submissive is victim.


I just want to share this to show how there are women out there who do like being dominated.

I love possessiveness and dominance of my boyfriend in my relationship

Being dominated by someone requires a lot of trust. You have to trust that your guy wants good for you and won't hurt you Its key for being in such relationship. You need to be strong to let other person take control.

I hope these people realise that men and women are inherently different and the relationship dynamics should be accordingly.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm not surprised you like it so much. What you are describing are some characteristics of an Alpha male.

    Alpha's naturally understand that women don't want to lead, they want to be led.

    What you described is the natural order; a women completely submissive to the man. What society has done with the pressure of creating strong females and soy boys is a perversion of the natural order. Why do you think women resent and don't respect soy boys - they naturally want strong dominate men.

  • "You see, I feel that women in general are not wired to take control. "

    That's good to know.

    Fortunately for the rest of us, there are still women who can rock it at the CEO level and there will still be women who can stand up there as world leaders.

    I'd love to have seen you saying the same thing to Queen Elizabeth, if she was still alive today.

    • Exceptions only exist to prove the norm

Most Helpful Girls

  • That's great that you're happy having no mind of your own in the relationship; good for you! If that makes you happy- great, I'm happy for you 🙄

    Just don't give that impression to all the men on here. Some of us women do have minds of our own and prefer to have partners that treat us as free will, independent or equal partners in the relationship.

    • I'm not hating on her take but some people on here they're so deluded and brainwashed I actually feel bad for them.

    • It's funny how this chick speaks of weak Vs strong men, I'm normally the one ranting on about soy boys and such; but whilst I've always been sexually aggressive and masculine, I've never felt the urge to be controlling and possessive. That to me has only ever been indicative of a guy riddled in insecurities... It sounds like OP has written this to justify her own BDSM kink and masked that with "muh boyfriend so macho he dun let that other handsome guy look muh way...". It's happened to me in real life where I've innocently interacted with a chick and her boyfriend then gets scared - I've only ever confronted these guys for being pussies... Not even hating on OP, just think she's flawed.

  • Damnnn this sounds like a fantastic romance story. But truly I feel the same, that is the kind of dominance that I like. I think it’s sexy, manly and not too overbearing!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think that on a deeper level, you both need to understand that you have an equal say in the relationship and that he can't really control your behavior. You just both need to keep in mind that this is a game.

    I play the dominant with my fiancee all the time. It's often little things, like briefly but firmly grabbing her wrists when I kiss her, or other things like that.

    But at the end of the day, we make our important decisions together, as equals.

  • Why do models always have this "empty skull" expression? They look like their slow...

    • They're trying to be sexy.

  • bullcrap. you may be letting it get to his head a little bit. nothing wrong with doing it once or twice, as long as the roles can be reversed.

  • I like doing it both ways, sometimes I want to be dominant, sometimes I want to be submissive.

    • In bed? Dom or sub

    • @Jude_Wills I don't know I am a virgin.

    • Okay

  • I am a simple woman I saw a hot sexy photo and clicked.
    That photo turned me on a bit even though I am a woman.
    Such a sexy photo you found!
    That is cheating because I am sure a lot of clicked on the mytake because of the picture and they were drooling
    hahahahahah

  • I have a serious question. Are you the author of 50 shades of grey? Because this sounds familiar.

  • Women and men are not inherently different in their relationship dynamics. You are not all women. I am happy you are in a relationship that makes you happy, but it wouldn't make all women happy. Like what you like but don't pretend it is the only way to be. Many women would not feel happy in your relationship and many men also like to be dominated. Hence the entire dominatrix industry.

  • I think this is a subjective matter. It seems that this is a kink of yours, and kinks are different from every person. Submissive women are not bad the same way dominant woman are not bad. Each couple will adress their preferences. Personally, I like a dominant man, but I also like to take control myself and show him what I got.

  • All you "nice guys", pay attention. In large part THIS explains your lack of success with some women.

    • Note to female downvoter: I did not write most women; I w

    • Ugh, typos. I wrote *some* women.

  • I agree completely. I thought something was wrong with me when I first brought this up with my boyfriend. He assured me that it is perfectly normal to like someone to take control as long as you trust them, and are expressive about your boundaries.

  • Yes I love girls like you and girls like guys like your boyfriend and girls secretly love seeing how possessive and emotionally invested he is in her and she can see it strongest when she makes him jealous. This is ok only up until a point though.

    There are books written by women for women that make the male characters VERY dominant and VERY possessive. The say things like "You are fucking mine. Mine and nobody else and if he touches your or comes anywhere near you I will fucking kill him."

    Yes many women love a dominant possessive man. it lets her know just how strongly he cares for her and is completely focused on her and only her. She really can't feel that way by just giving her flowers.

  • I like that you use "expert" in quotations, yet these "experts" include people such as psychologists. The fact of the matter is that the behaviour you described coincide with a dysfunctional and abusive relationship.

    However, in the case of a fetishized dominant-submissive relationship setting, sure, it's fine. But not everyone is in a situation like that, so disregarding real, studied information about abusive relationships the way you have is just silly.

  • Oh dear.

    If your boyfriend also carries this BDSM shit out into public life he's gonna end up getting hurt.

    Take it from a big man, there's nothing worse than when I've had to interact with some chick on a non sexual level, and her boyfriend in the other cornerof the room wets himself with jealousy. It's put me in some real bad situations...

    And it ain't normally the boyfriend that comes out on top... Ya know?

    • You can say these things to her without being overly confrontational with the guy - the only reason a guy does that is because he thinks she won't respect him and as a result won't stay loyal so he feels like he has to fight the other guy. But I'd also say that often sitting back and doing/saying nothing when your girl is acting up because you're afraid of other men makes you a soyboy. Your role as a man is to protect your woman, you can't do that while being afraid of violence.

    • @englisc I see what your saying. But I cannot help it if I've (and guys like me) already struck that degree of "fear" into the other guy. If just by virtue of my existence and basic social mannerisms I am to be seen as an immediate "threat", then the "fear" that this guy holds is clearly irrational and derives itself from his own insecurities. This level of insecurity is to me, highly weak, effeminate, and dishonourable, worse yet is when he chooses to act out on this fear - and more often than not its with liquid/substance-courage... Seldom am I challenged by sober anger. It becomes a rather infuriating experience for me when I sincerely have not initiated a sexual vibe (let alone act) with the girl in question, but she at some subliminal level, must be "putting out" (attracted); this might be the most innocent and well-rounded of woman all the same... I think what most men can't articulate logically, but instinctively know and won't admit to, is that a woman will only ever be truly loyal down to the *bone* when she is completely secure with how much of herself is wrapped up in her guys masculine energy. This is the good girls I'm talking about, I'm not saying a good girl would cheat, or play games per say, but if another guy is able to spark even an ounce of attractive force in her, then the average "man" immediately will freak (as per my original post). And this is where a more organically self-confident man like myself just has to laugh, or cry... I'm not speaking like I'm some sort of Messiah here by the way, I've had more girls than not, shit test and act up so I speak from experience. Here's an example:

    • @englisc One night had just got out from a late session of boxing, got showered and rushed back up the road to meet a friend in a booza for an hour. Minding my beez wax, texting, oblivious to my surroundings for a change, normally I'm alert. Some drunk mug starts, tries bottling me in the throat "'coz muh biiiuurrd was staring at you". Now not only was I completely caught off guard, and tried to calm him down with reason given the stench of Heineken from his breath, but he was infuriated that this girl who I hadn't even clapped eyes on was apparently oggling at me... This makes this guy masculine, and honourable? I think not. Nobody else stepped in to intervene, not even the landlady, so I had to defend myself and ended up putting him in hospital with a broken jaw and fractured head. Then as soon as people see the damage they wanted to call the police on me... Fucking pathetic cowards... So I had to bolt out the joint given that that would've been a charge of ABH, GBH, disturbing the queens peace and common assault... Would've been banged up for more than murder one... I only found this out through my friend when he turned up 20 mins later when the police were there... It was this guys girlfriend who made sure no charges were pressed... A woman completely and utterly random to me (I can barely make out her face) had to save my ass against the backwards laws of some insecure slack-jaw that was for no good reason, intimidated by me... Long reply I know, but hopefully you'll see where I'm coming from.

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  • Well, if you're happy in your relationship, that's really all that matters. You have experience with another guy and know that this is your preferd type of relationship (of course, it's because you also trust your bf). But I also think that you can't say that the dynamics of relatioship is differnt between men and women. If you liked that way, I respect it but, for example, your ex for me had a type of relationship with you that allures me much more. Maybe because I'm an introvert, I love my space and independence (and even trust issues to the mix) and just the thought of someone telling me to do something this way or dressing this way, makes my blood boil. I just feel traped, you know? I simply couldn't do it. The thought of it is already making me distressed, honestly.

  • Good arguments, as long as the relationship is healthy and not abusive.

    I'm in a similar situation to yours.
    My girlfriend is dominant, I'm submissive.
    It works well for both.

  • Possessiveness is definitely a turn on for me. But telling me why to wear and what to say and what to do you're taking this to a whole new level.
    As someone here said, there is a difference between possessiveness and abuse.

  • That is fine and your choice to desire this but I see too often these guys evolve into over controlling and very abusive. So I ask at what point is it too much? What happens one day when all the hormones wear off and you find yourself in an emotional cage and feel trapped by an abuser. Many young women instinctively go for this and they love it but both of you change and you will start to desire freedom after the love dust settles and he will become more possessive and controlling. Anyways, good luck!

  • I’m a little like that, but not too much. I’m dominant and I’m hoping girls are like that too lol.

  • Every relationship is different, and whether it's with sub/dom tendencies, or intro/extrovert, there has to be ying and yang. Just as opposite poles of a magnet attract each other but the same ones repel.
    I would be concerned for my daughter if she were in an overly dominant relationship however. A woman in that position has to have a large degree of inner strength to prevent her becoming dangerously controlled by a dominant man. It sounds to me like you have that. So you'll be OK... happy days!

  • I say so whatever makes you comfortable. It’s your relationship. It doesn’t affect me. I may not agree but at the end of the day, I don’t give a fuck. The only thing I really didn’t appreciate in your take was the very last paragraph. Yes. Men and women are different. However, I don’t think anyone “should” have to play into the traditional dynamics you were speaking of.

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