As I sit here on this night in silence, memories of my youth come back to mind. Things that I have not thought about in a long time always seem to find their way out of the wood work when the night is long. But it has always been that way - a least for me - the night calls on those memories that have been dormant for many long and dusty years.
One starts to think of the many heartbreaks one has been through - the many times one has been stood up , or when one begins to build and build up and then......nothing. Or when she tells you that she is single but later you find out she is married. The rejection after constant rejection. Or what about the empty flirting or being led on. It seems that there is no true happiness in this fairy tale.
But I guess that is why they call it a fairy tale.
After so many heart breaks one become cynical. I am not sure that I would say it is out of choice but more as an inevitable consequence. With time and pain the heart grows bitter and hard. I do not date anymore. I do not try anymore. Any flirting that comes my way I hard ignore. I do not flirt back.Ever. If some one tries to set me up I say no thank you.If some women offers me her number I will tell her "No thank you , I never call." It all seems so pointless, such as waste of time. Why suffer chasing pipe dreams and unicorns?
Why be miserable in company when one can be content alone?