What is the meaning of my poetry? I will explain.

[smahala1991]

As y'all know a few weeks ago I went on a vacation to visit my cousin in Louisville, KY. Despite all the negative vibes coming from her roomate I still had fun. We got to go to dave and busters and pat Mario Kart, we had a party and played Cards Against Humanity, we also got to discover some new places on a day trip to Cincinnati. We had other plans but her current issues at the time was taking a toll on her.

The whole time I was feeling anxious. Because I don't get to hang out with my family and noone at work ever asks me to join in on stuff they may have planned. I want to get to know people. But, how do I get to know people if I get anxious and others don't seem interested in getting to know me and what I'm like.

I know I'm not perfect. I'm still trying to get my car and driver's license back after not being able to pay a fine I had which I paid off in February. I do tend to get a little too annoying sometimes. But I never want to take advantage of people. Growing up I was sheltered. I never really got to hang out with friends or do activities unless it was church or school related. Not because of religious reasons, but my grandparents saw me as a new child to raise to mold them more like them since their children before were growing apart from them. At least, thats what my grandma was thinking. I hated being sheltered because it ruined me. I never got to get close to many people despite being an extroverted person. They wanted to interject in everything when I just wanted to do my own thing.

Even in college they would call me if i didn't call them any that day. On one birthday I was hanging out with college friends. My grandma called hysterically crying because I didn't call her earlier. She had thought I might have been killed by friends or something like that. When that wasn't the case at all.

Now that I am finally away from them since my grandma passed 6 years ago, I am trying to become myself. I want to get rid of the stigma of being a former sheltered child. I want to not give a fuck and have fun. I still love my grandparents, but I wish they would have raised me to be more carefree just like my dad and aunt were.

This is why I write and have anxiety and have depression like I do.

[Heaz99]

I came across this in my feed and I was an extremely sheltered kid too. I can realate to many things you're saying. In fact, when I was 12, i got in a fatal accident where I tripped over a wire outside in the darkness and gashed my face on a propane tank. They had to stitch it up and my mom didn't want to put me back in school because I had a concussion and on top of that, I had some really nasty rumors spread about me. I was homeschooled for the rest of my middle school AND high school years! It gave me terrible social anxiety and I paid the ultimate price. I'm just barely studying for my permit after going through some mental issues and changing to a different medication. The old one made me sedated, motivationless, depressed and lazy. I wasted 4 years on that med. Now that I'm on the new one things are finally moving forward and looking bright.

[Jjpayne]

Thanks for sharing and being open but you can work on those, they are a struggle but you are not bound to them. There are ways you can work with therapy professionals (I'm in therapy at the moment) and work in training yourself. Change in daily habits is never easy but it is possible. I want you to live your life to the fullest without fear. To live a life that brings a smile to your face and I know that's possible for you

[Jjpayne]

Thank you for the MHO!!! :)

[newbyateverything]

i think that is why some kids have rough chemistry with their parents sometimes when they get too protective.

[SirRexington]

To express feelings and elicit feelings from the reader.

[nerms123]

So was the roommate sketchy?

[smahala1991]

Yes he was

[nerms123]

That’s actually awesome to have great intuition like that

[Joker_]

I would like to know the meaning of your poetry