Are you ready for the next installment of the hottest take you'll (n)ever read? No? Too bad! Read Part 1 here: How to Fix Your Broken Relationships pt. 1.
Create Your Own Jane Birkin! (or how to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear)
Now we are finally getting to the beef of this little series of essays!
You want your woman to be beautiful and talented, and your woman definitely wants to be beautiful and talented too, so why not make cunning use of your innate power over her to make both your wishes come true? Remember, she is already constantly remolding herself to your demands as she sees them (by interpreting all the signals you give off whether you know it or not). This is already happening, and you can't change it, so why not take conscious control over the process and send out signals that are actually conduicive to some desired goal?
Why not, indeed!
Realize that there is practically NOTHING a woman will not do to please her man, once he has communicated his desire effectively. Some men are naturally skilled in this, and some of them take so much selfish advantage of it it's frankly heartbreaking to see. Just think about what hoes will do for their pimp…
But male power is not intrinsically evil, you can use your power over your woman for good if you so choose!
You see, you have already torn down your woman over the years by not being sufficiently aware of how you affect her. I'm only suggesting that you reverse this process and start building her up again. It is easier than you think, precisely because a woman will do anything for her man. Think about it: If a hoe can pick up Johns every day to keep her pimp living in style, then - by God! - your woman can become pretty and start feeling good about herself again for you! Never doubt your woman's ability to accomplish anything you set her out to do!
Now, let's make her pretty again!
I assume your woman wasn't half bad looking when you first got her, after all, there was something about her that caught your eye. I also assume she has since let herself go completely, because that's what usually happens. Since you now know that YOU are actually 100 % responsible for this sad state of affairs, let's do a quick recap of how you managed to send her signals that instructed her to stop caring about her appearance:
-She asked you which pair of pants to wear, and you grunted unintelligibly and didn't really look. That signaled to her that her appearance is of no importance to you.
-She showed off her new haircut and you failed to comment positively on it. That signaled to her that you don't find her attractive anymore.
-She wanted to buy some piece of jewelry, and you grumbled that it was a waste of money. That signaled to her that she is worth very little to you, and you don't think she's pretty enough to deserve to wear nice things.
-She asked you to zip up her dress when you were going to a party, and you didn't take the opportunity of kissing her in the neck as you used to. That signaled to her that you don't want her anymore.
I could go on and on adding 500 more examples (as could your woman if you were to ask her…), but I'm guessing you got the point already!
So how do you reverse the damage you have inadvertently caused through a lifetime of being a complete doofus?
Simple! You just use your remarkable male brain power to come up with a bunch of little things you can do that will send the correct signal, and then you DO them when opportunity strikes! A few examples, just to get your imagination going:
Lesson 4 contd.
-Notice something she is wearing. Act spontaneous, as if some detail just caught your eye, and you just can't help commenting on it. "Oh, I haven't seen that skirt on you for a while!" It doesn't even have to be a glowing positive compliment, you are just signaling that you notice her appearance here. This tells her that you do pay attention to how she looks and what she is wearing. That's all it takes, really.
-Buy her a necklace and drop it in her lap with a casual "I just saw this thing, and I thought it might go with those ear-rings you used to have." This sneaky statement is just loaded with juicy information for a female brain to chew on! (1) You do value her after all. (2) You do appreciate her wearing jewelry and dressing up. (3) It has not escaped you that she's not been wearing ear-rings lately. (4) You have noticed she's been looking like crap lately, and it definitely bothers you. (5) You do actually believe she could be pretty again if she tried. (6) You are considerate enough to tell her all of this in such a veiled and convoluted fashion to not hurt her feelings, etc, etc. She's going to lie awake at night and think up many more hidden meanings, be sure of it! And no, it doesn't matter if the necklace doesn't actually go with the ear-rings. She already knows you're hopeless with such things! Besides, now she got a reason to get a new dress that goes with the new necklace, and perhaps a pair of matching ear-rings too!
-Grab her butt playfully when she passes you and exclaim "hey sexy!!" Then let her go immediately and just smile disarmingly back at her when she feigns her protestations. This is not to be repeated often mind you, it is the surprise effect you're after. She will get the signal that you still want her, and the casual and carefree nature of the "assault" will help defusing sexual tension, making her trust you more. You were just acting playfully, not making any demands or expecting anything from her sexually, which makes her able to relax better around you. Did she get all of that information clearly? Why yes, of course she did, she's a woman!
-When you are cuddling with her, stroke her thigh and moan "mmmm, so smooth!". Don't be surprised when she starts shaving her legs again, because that's clearly going to please you very much. You said so loud and clear.
You should come up with many more similar ideas yourself! Remember, it is not hard to communicate with a woman, she is a natural at picking up any subtle clues you throw at her and figuring out what they mean. And she enjoys doing so!
In fact, it is much better to use subtle signaling to make your desires known than to explain them in detail verbally.
You may sometimes feel like you are being a manipulative asshole when you do these little exercises, that is perfectly normal for a man. But your personal feelings on the matter are irrelevant here, because she absolutely loves the mystery and thrives on the drama this little game creates! She loves the attention you are giving to her! And while she understands fully that you are playing games with her, consciously creating little hints on what direction you want her to move in, she doesn't mind at all! To her, it only shows how much you care. And -get this- she actually WANTS to go in the direction you are steering her: you're her Captain after all!
Keep this up for a while, playing a new little "mind trick" on her every other day or so, and she will look absolutely stunning in no time!
Next time, we'll address the matter of unleashing all her dormant talent and creativity. There is no limit to what a woman can accomplish in these areas, but she needs her man to give her green light to be able to pursue her interests and express herself. You can easily do that.
Women are creative!
Men are all totally different from each other, some are smart, some are dumb, some are into football, some prefer golf, and some even hate sports altogether. There are lots of typically male special interests, but no two men are into the same things.
Women are much more similar to each other: They all share the same basic female interests. You will certainly find some oddball woman who is into math and dry stuff like that, but I'm going to just ignore such outliers and speak of your basic, everyday woman. The kind you're most likely to be married to, that's the kind we're talking about.
Such a "normal" woman is a sucker for ART and CREATIVITY in all forms!
First (and often foremost) she greatly enjoys the traditional womanly creative arts: cooking, knitting, sewing, home decoration, beauty and makeup, having and raising children (don't forget the last one, to have children is in many ways the ultimate creative act - you're creating new people, for crying out loud!).
Second, she enjoys all the more "highly respected" creative arts as well: painting in oil or water, singing and making music, dancing, writing poetry or fiction.
If your woman currently seems to lack interest in, or aptitude for, any of these arts, it simply means she has low self-esteem. Build her up and stimulate her courage, and you'll soon see she's just like the rest in this regard - a naturally gifted artist!
Why would you want to stimulate your woman to express her artistic side fully?
First, she will create some truly awesome stuff that will enrich your life immensely. Second, it's likely to improve your sex life. Third, to make the neighbors cry heir hearts out in envy, because every man wants to have an exciting talented woman, and every woman wants to be one!
But most of all, because it will make your woman happy and content on a level that is impossible to achieve as long as her natural artistic side lies dormant.
If you love your woman, let her be an artist, it's as simple as that!
Now, I happen to be something of a Master in the sacred art of letting your wife be an artist, if I may say so myself, so I feel quite confident in giving out advise on the matter.
The outwards signs of my Mastery are many:
My wife has hand-painted every wall in the house, and designed and sewn or knitted every piece of clothing she and I am wearing (you can't buy better pants for money!). She cooks amazing food, and makes up new exciting dishes all the time. And there's usually dessert! She bakes our bread too. She paints in oils and water color. She sings songs that she writes, and she accompanies herself on guitar and piano, and records her own music with synths and so on, about 40 songs so far I think. She started to write a novel.
And she does all these things brilliantly! As I said before, the only thing limiting a woman, is the number of hours in a day!
But the thing that is important to realize here, is that even though she is 100 % responsible for doing all these things out of her own volition and in her own way, she wouldn't be doing any of them if I didn't know how to support her psychologically. Especially not if I were instead counteracting it and suppressing her by giving negative signals towards her creative output and messing her up psychologically. Then she'd be the typical dull and uninteresting woman less enlightened men end up being married to, no matter how promising their woman might have been before he married her. Or she'd get a divorce. Or she'd fucking cut my throat when I was asleep!
Well, if you kill a woman's soul, what do you expect in return?
Your role as a man, is to give your woman the confidence boost and (positive and thoughtful) feedback she needs to do her thing, nothing more. Leave the rest to nature, sit back and be amazed!
Lesson 5 contd..
Let's say your woman writes a few verses, and hands them over to you a little hesitantly. You read them and open up your heart to truly absorb the essence and resonate with what she wrote, and then you express whatever comes into you mind without filtering it too much through your male logic. This kind of feedback is most helpful for her, not only because you are showing keen interest in her work and thereby validating it (green light from the Captain!), but because she is in a way always "channeling" when she is creating. She does not fully know where that came from, and there is usually hidden wisdom in it she didn't think of herself.
You can help her pick out that wisdom! For some reason, it seems to be easier for a man to spot the pearls of wisdom and greatness in a woman's work. When you do so, you make the act of writing even more profound and rewarding for her. So she gains more courage and writes some more.
Soon she has written a novel, and before you know it, it's a best-seller. She wrote it all by herself, but it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't encouraged it!
A few words of encouragement and a little honest interest in her work, that's all it took!
Brother, that's the easiest million bucks you'll ever make!
I'm going to end this section by telling you a little dark secret my wife doesn't even know about. I said she "started" to write a novel. She didn't finish it, and it is just lying around uselessly in a drawer. Some months ago, she said to me, "I really ought to finish that novel, it's quite good, I don't know why I don't do it!" And she is right, it really is quite good, well the parts that are written so far that is.
But I do know exactly why she doesn't finish her novel - I stopped her.
Yup, I did. I usually support everything she does like a champ, but in this case I read her work and gave her a perfectly good "supportive" feedback on the surface, but without attaching that supportive emotional undercurrent, that "you go girl!"-energy that must accompany all feedback to make it useful for a woman. I consciously withheld that energy, because I felt uncomfortable about her writing a novel!
Aren't I a nasty piece of work?
When I ask myself WHY I would withhold that validation, all I can come up with is that I fear she would be rejected by the publishers no matter how good her novel is, and I don't want her to be devastated. Because then I'll have to pick up the pieces.
Totally egotistical from beginning to end!
It's hardly my place to decide whether she will succeed in something or not, but that's exactly what I did. I limited her. Did I mention men have a terrifying power over women, and with great power comes great responsibility?
I'll have to undo the damage I caused and unleash her novel writing eventually, but not right now - she is busy painting for an exhibition she has booked this autumn. I'll let her focus on that work first.
This part I don't particularly like. I don't like a woman in make up, but when I don't say it right, it can lead to her feeling that I don't value her appearance. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate that one since every outlet will say that if she wants to be beautiful, she will wear make up, and I have to separate the two in her mind.