Cohabitation is still marriage

[IcedLemonade]

Single man smiling at life

If you have reasons to not marry then you should not cohabitate either. They're the same thing just without the legal paperwork and the big day.

If you don't believe in cohabitation then what's the point of relationships? (Calm down and hear me out)

You're going to go out and eat with the same person, kiss with the same person, etc ? For what exactly?

That's a part of a plan that you no longer believe in, a plan that leads to cohabitation/marriage.

Listen, I'm right on this one. Because sometimes logic over feelings is right.

So. If you're an observer, watch out for more people in loving relationships to start cheating on each other. Watch that devolve into complete casuality.

Ok, if you're a female reading this you probably don't realize men prefer variety over comfort and familiarty.

I know this is distasteful for you but this is just how men are with sex. They aren't like you.

It'll be like the groupie-rockstar sex life for the average joe

"Let's stay together...for the children"

When couples won't have children anymore.

There just won't be couples sooner or later.🙂

[ChiPaPa]

Makes sense. A friend of mine has a joint bank account, children, a mortgage, and lives with his girlfriend but, she doesn't want to get married as it would tie her down. Lady, how much more tied down can you get?

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao a joint account is out of the question. She must be happy playing hotel manager cause nahh

[CuriousAZ]

My thiughts exactly. Completely agree. Might as well get married.

[molonski2]

You certainly make some valid points. I read here about " marriage " and what people expect out of it , and they are so young , have been sold this ludicrous dream , and its just so dam far from the truth its hard to quantify.
My phycologist , had me write a life plan , as in , if I could go back to 16 years old , and with " sliding doors " moment in mind , asking " What things would I change " ? example you can't change someone's death because thats out of your control. Its a really interesting exercise in hindsight , the marriage was difficult to simply " scratch " because I have two fully grown daughters , but in the hindsight life plan , I purchased a different unit/condo , so I never would have met her , but the thing that had to change was my thought process at 16 years old , but would I still have 2 children and how do I know I would be far more selective? We then went right though point by point ..
Marriage is really tough , inconvenient , some see as an escape of being alone , its not either.
I think attitudes have changed a lot with this worldwide , birth rates are only really high with those in poverty , they see reproduction as a way out , a better life later.

[nella965]

Its not the same. You dont understand. There is something very secure about marriage that you cannot get out of cohabiting.

Marriage is about being there to support each other for the rest of your lives , not simply just the act of living together. If you cohabitate, your boyfriend can dump you anytime and leave the apartment whenever he wants.

What if you lost your leg and cannot work, now your boyfriend has found someone else that he likes (who wants to be with someone stuck permanently in a wheel chair?) , he can easily stop taking care of you. What if you got yourself into debt? you have a spouse who can help pay off your debt. A boyfriend/ girlfriend is not obligated by law to pay off your debt.

In marriage, your assets are also your husband's assets. This creates a lot of financial stability because its 2 people creating one net worth. When you're in a cohabitating situation, you're two separate beings with your own separate net worths.

And unless you get married, you have no official claim over your lover in life. Its ok for your boyfriend to flirt with other women. Under marriage, is the only position when you have official claim over someone. A married man cannot flirt with other women. A married man cannot openly hang out with women without his wife's permission. These are the unwritten rules of marriage that many people do not know about.

[nella965]

marriage is the only union where 2 people are combined to be one. its also the only union where both spouses have official claim or ownership over each other. It is the only union where you are bound by your spouse. This means any debt that your spouse takes on, you also take on. Any money your spouse makes, it is also money that you make. Anywhere your spouse goes, you also go. This is what it means to be fully BOUND by your spouse. It is the ULTIMATE seal of commitment.

Cohabitation is just two people enjoying each other's comany by living together. It is in no way , shape , or form a proof of commitment or that you are bound by your lover for the rest of your life. Its soo easy to leave a cohabiting situation. You can lose your partner any time in life when its so easy to leave.

[horatiohornblower]

A spouse isn't obligated by law to help with debt. Although jointly held accounts and property may be put in jeopardy from bill collectors. But that varies by state, community property laws and if you can trace contributions by the debtor or non-debtor.

Even if you aren't married. Joint property and accounts may be attached by creditors.

[1b9l8r1]

I’m going to disagree on this one for two main reasons. First, you’re dealing in absolutes. Truly wise people acknowledge their understanding is limited and their ideas are possibly short sighted. Second, what marriage is varies by culture and is not simply a legal contract. Someone with a different life experience than you will have a different definition of marriage. Some people object to marriage based on their view of what marriage is. I’m not going to tell them what type of relationship they are entitled to. Additionally, common law rights can exist without formal marriage depending on where you live. A common law partner can be eligible for benefits such as insurance, and can be entitled to a share of assets if separation occurs. A married person who has signed a prenuptial agreement often has fewer rights and protections than a common law partner. Also, marriage does not cause fidelity. I’m married because I’m faithful to my partner, I’m not faithful because I’m married. Personally, I don’t believe in extramarital cohabitation, but that is a personal value. I respect the rights of individuals whose values differ from my own.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I prefer comfort and familiarity over variety.

I do require variety, but in a specific set amount, and I don't require sexual/relationship variety at all.

Things I need variety in are food, video games, art, and other forms of entertainment, (and even then, its types of experiences, not new experiences, that are fullfilling to me, so if for example i have enough types as to obtain all the ones i enjoy in a high enough amount, then I need nothing new, and can be endlessly entertained by a finite amount of things... but then I'm an artist, So I'm my own infinity well)

I don't ever want to have kids.

I want to cohabitate with a woman who can't have kids.

I'm ok with legally tieing the knot, but it makes no difference to me because a girlfriend and a wife are the same thing to me, both being permanent cohabitation and sexual monogamy.

I prefer monogamy for saftey, reliability, comfort, entertainment, and emotional reasons, and have zero interest in casual sex or casual romantic relationships.

[Browneye57]

Listen, you're WRONG on this one. Quit acting like some kind of authority - you're just not.

I used to think like this - if they're good enough to fuck and shack up with, they're good enough to marry. Here's the problem with that 'logic' as you call it, of which it is clearly not.

You don't ever really get to truly know someone till you live them. Their true colors come out. Are they messy? Do they like sex? Are you even compatible? No, you need to try them on for size.

An apartment lease is hard enough to get out of, let alone a marriage. I know, my first divorce cost me right about a half-million. If I had convinced the cunt to move in first, maybe I would have realized BEFORE I married here that is was a mistake. COUNTLESS people do this.

If you're going to stay together, commit to each other, and start a family, then ABSOLUTELY YES marry them. But don't assume that shacking up with someone on a trial basis is the same as marriage - it's just not.

[IcedLemonade]

I uses if-then statements, how's that not logic bruh😂

[IcedLemonade]

Ltr cohabitation is like a marriage. But marriage is like a date idea... proposing is like asking 'wanna go skydiving next week?' It's not like asking 'will you spend the rest of your life with me?'

[Browneye57]

Key term is 'like' a marriage. But it's not. A marriage is a marriage - legally licensed, swear your commitment before god and your closest friends and relatives.
Shacking up IS NOT a marriage.
Now you just seem a little dim.

[IcedLemonade]

Tomato tomato

[19magic]

And what's your point if you view cohabitation as living together what's it to you wether people marry or don't marry. Nothing so why all the fuss, not everyone has to get married hell marriage was a religious thing so if you aren't religious why should you bother and save your money just go on a nice holiday instead. Same with christenings if you ain't religious then don't have one, I've had people so shocked when I said I'm not having one and it's like I'm not a Christian so I don't need to go, there's also no family traditions for me to hand down either so that's not a part of it either.

[Massageman]

Marriage may not be right for everyone. Some couples may want to avoid the formalities involved with legal marriage. Others may want to keep their financial affairs and debt burdens separate. Whatever the case may be, some couples choose to live together without the benefit of a legal union. There are, however, differences between how marriage and cohabitation relationships are treated under the law. One of themes significant is that in the event of the death of one of the co-habitators, the other co-habitator has NO LEGAL CLAIM to any of his/her assets: they will redistributed to the family. ref FindLaw. com. There is a lengthy list of various differences and similarities at the attached website, if you wish to check them all out. https://www.findlaw.com/family/living-together/marriage-vs-cohabitation.html

[bamesjond0069]

Well im wealthy. Cohabitation means she has zero access to me financially unless i want to give her something. Having kids sure she can get child support but that is just cash flow. Marriage gives her access to my wealth which is what generates my income. So yeah no thanks.

I do believe in religious marriage however nowhere in the Bible does it say to enter into an oppressive legal contract with a woman so she can divorce you for unbiblical reasons and take your money. So i might one day give a woman a ring but thats it. Your choice if you call that marriage or not.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Variety and familiarity aren't mutually exclusive. That's like a good cook bro. You mix things up with the same core ingredients. Or a good artist with colors, debater with words, athlete or dancer with moves, etc. If you're good at something you know how to get variety from a familiar cabinet.

[slatyb]

A marriage is a legal contract. It has advantages and disadvantages. It's up to the couple to decide if a legal marriage is advantageous or not.

In the US the marriage penalty is real. If two people with approximately equal incomes marry, they may owe more income tax than if they had not married.

[hahahmm]

Or guys only want sexual variety because the haven't found a woman worth focusing on. Kind of like a guy who has only ever had fast food is going to bounce from one fast food joint to the next every day. The guy who has the best steak of his life at Mary's house is going there.

[hahahmm]

And by steak I'm not even talking about sex.. but the overall character.

[Kaamraj]

I would disagree, cohabitation can be come marriage as in the woman can become your common law wife. This law made sense two centuries ago where a man may cohabitate with a woman for sometime and later ask her to leave or leave himself, however the woman would be left with the social burden associated with living with a non related man. It made sense then but makes no sense now.

[G5TWA1]

your premise is wrong, there are lots of situation where cohabitation without marriage makes sense, I know some guys who moved in with their girlfriends and a couple of years later broke up, it would have been much worse if they were married, and in the end it's a personal choice, some people just don't value marriage the same way you do, and that's ok

[IcedLemonade]

If I met her, Id treat the female the same as a divorced woman.

[emilym12345]

There will always be Christians, Muslims, and Jewish people that believe in the sanctity of marriage.


But you are right hook up culture is prevalent in western society. Many people should not be in a committed relationship.

[IcedLemonade]

Yes, any people group that promotes fertility as a virtue will still have relationships

[yofuknutz]

Marriage is complicated especially with people who are on public benefits you find out real fast with marriage discrimination is and there needs to be a class action lawsuit for real.

[VanillaSalt]

No see I support marriage I just don’t support marriage through government. Women can leave and take most of what a man has earned through hard work after being the cause of the relationships failure in the first place.

The rate of divorce is 53% and 80% of them are filed by women. If it was men then I know I wouldn’t give up easily but I can’t control others and I can’t trust that I’m dating a good woman. For that reason I do not support legal marriage in its current state. Just as I don’t believe in the being got I respect his teaching in his book and feel it provides a moral importance in the world and shape most of what I do with consideration to his book.

That being said saying we shouldn’t allow cohabitation. Is the same as telling me to live alone forever. That’s unacceptable to me no matter the sense it makes that I cannot cohabitate as an alternative option to marriage or be alone.

[yofuknutz]

^^^ do you think they rollback certain Family Court obligation that help with legal marriage or are we already over the cliff?

[VanillaSalt]

If there’s anything that’s obvious it’s that to force change requires women… when women start moving people panic… don’t mess with momma bear and don’t bite the hand that feeds ya… women make up like 80% of all consumer purchasing and if you fuck with the kids you fuck with momma… that being said with less men getting an education and more women becoming career women it’s causing women yo have to pay alimony… when Adele had to pay alimony women blew their fucking minds and called it manimony and made fun of the dude… when normal women start paying alimony then we’ll see change. But don’t expect it to help men… the States are a gynocentric patriarchy meaning men are in charge but the society is completely built on supporting women and putting women first.

[yofuknutz]

^^^^ this is an unsustainable Society it might be wise for us to turn around and go the other way but humans are self-destructive begin with I don't know.

[VanillaSalt]

I’m sticking around. I live in Texas where we ain’t putting up with the bullshit. The women ain’t so bad here but even if they are my families all I need. Did consider moving to The Philippines… but I don't know about that yet.

[yofuknutz]

^^^ the woman in Texas are pretty hot but I've seen how nasty they can be especially and the house and a bunch of them to come down your neck. The Philippines is overcrowded lots of hurricanes.

[VanillaSalt]

But the women are proper and look nice… besides… an American working remotely abroad can live a lavish life there.

[yofuknutz]

You're being a Texas boy you own any weapon because the Philippines while you are able 2 get a permit it is a far more stricter process and you have to drive all the way to Manila to get it every year.

[VanillaSalt]

I’m one of the few without a gun funny enough. Never had to worry until recent years. Now that I don’t need to get a permit I’m getting my first this month.

[yofuknutz]

Right Texas just became a constitutional carry state Philippines you can barely get one I've heard people sleeping in cars outside the police station waiting for their permit

[DizzyDesii]

I’d be extremely happy married but living in two separate places. But i know its rare for it to work that way. Im not tryna shack up with anyone but im willing to live together while engaged since that usually lasts 6 months to a year.

[IcedLemonade]

You can have two different houses on the same property. I would prefer that anyway

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao the same property haha. Nah. Im just saying that when i build my home… if i dont get married til afterr, he's either moving into my place or we’re having two homes cause im not gonna give up what i build

[IcedLemonade]

I dont plan on living in a tiny ass house so it's not really of concern to me

[DizzyDesii]

I won't be living in a small house thank you very much. But im also realistic enough to not say i’ll be building a mansion. I just want a nice 3 bed 2 bath ranch

[IcedLemonade]

I think two houses connected by a central urban garden type of thing (an atrium) with a fence/wall on the other two sides would be a design I'd go for

[IcedLemonade]

I'm not realistic at all

[Ninani]

No, people do not have to cohabitate or even be monogamous to have healthy loving relationships. What you perceive as "the natural next step" is a social construct that not every couple has to follow if it doesn't fit them.

[IcedLemonade]

You know who talks about social constructs? People who dont strategize. Nothing makes sense to them, its all just random

[t-8900]

I'm still completely satisfied being monogamous thanks

[IcedLemonade]

Do you have kids

[t-8900]

No but want them

[Anonymous]

Only married people are married. They operate within a legal framework embedded in our societies, and allows the couple greater scope to integrate their lives.
Cohabitation is for single people and is not the same.

[Aurora1010]

Marriage isn't just paperwork for some, it could be for religious purposes

[IcedLemonade]

The point is about cohabitation is like a marriage

[sunshineglow]

You are still to immature to understand anything on these matters. Hopefully some day you might grow able to understand. Until then, bin voyage through life and path of emotionally maturing.