My friends laugh at how I view women... I'm very respectful of women, they're not, but they get the girls!

[emsta360]

yeah I must say, it is a little annoying the way most guys think they need to be jackasses to get attention from girls. pretty much, being a nice guy is going to get you landed in the friend zone a lot, but whatever you do, do not give in to being a jerk, because when you get older that'll just earn you less and less points. also there are lots of girls who prefer guys to be respectful, although it tends to be the overconfident ones who we get more attention from. its possible to be confident without being disrespectful. but defs as you get older there will be more girls who are over the bad boys. ciao

[dance89wrln]

You have a very good soul, and a very good personality. Any girl that reads this would fall for you; no question about it. I don't think you have a problem at all! You're just paranoid of the fact that you're still single, when you're friends are out having fun and doing their 'thing'. Men like them, usually end up having bad relationships for the rest of their lives. Most important thing of all, don't ever go their direction; be a leader, not a follower. Who you are is much better than who they are. I'm not trying to judge, but you seem like you have an independence and uniqueness that is very rare these days! Women don't necessarily approach you or talk to you like you would want them to, probably because they're not used to men like you. It's a change, and it's a GOOD change for us. We want to see more men like you, but it rarely happens. Usually the ones that we meet are weird. And I know by how you wrote this, that you're not 'weird'. There's a certain attraction women receive from 'bad boys', it happens to every girl in every generation. We tend to go for the 'bad' side because we want to experience what it's like! It's a habit that I don't think will ever be broken. The good men come in only after girls are out of college, and/or want a serious, long-lasting relationship. No more fun and games, no more partying it up with the wrong men, no more sleeping around. They finally want to settle for a chance, and the 'good' guys will provide that for them.

Don't worry about what's going on now. You have time ahead of you, and plenty of women out there! The worst thing to do is actually look for a relationship.. You have to live your daily life and it will come naturally when even the least expected.

Hope I helped (:

Good luck

[Standingpretty]

Women are stressed out at work so, that's probably not the best place to pick them up. It's nothing againest you personally, they're just trying to work hard and make money and probably are not in the mood to be picked up by a stranger when other customers are pressuring them. Girls have a hard time figuring out what they want. Pretty much all girls say they want a nice guy but actions speak louder than words and they end up dating a guy because he's "cool" or popular. They don't really know what they want until they've dated a variety of guys, including jerks. But, the biggest reasons why most girls date jerks are confusion and munipulation. Guys maybe able to tell a player off the bat because guys dicuss this between each other and hear girls complain about it; but, what guys don't see is that the players treat these girls exactly the same, except with a little extra something (more cofindence, smoothness, whatever they're trick may be) and they know how to munipulate a girl which nice guys don't know how to do. Also, if your having trouble you could be off balance meaning that you show your feelings to much or come on too strong or, not strong enough or you're shy about showing your feelings. Try to be nice, but play it cool. Make sure you don't talk to much or not at all and just relax. Girls are looking for balance, and players seem to have it so, if you want to get the girl, you have to learn balance and maintain it. But, consider you're self blessed for being the way you are because in the end, nice guys end up with girls who are nice and intelligent, while the jerks are alone and unhappy because the only girl that wants to date an aging jerk is a crazy one. Hope this helps you out!

[expunge]

You know how 95% of guys are stupid jackasses? So are 95% of girls. It's not a guy/girl thing, it's a humans-in-general thing.

Just be patient and be yourself. That's the only way to find someone that genuinely complements you as a person.

[Reeses-pieces777]

if a guy is not disrespectful for me, I would be extra glad I get rid of him. I do not want a guy who disrespects me. the girls those individuals prey on are the niave ones, they may get the girl but in the long term, their reputation for being assholes screws them over eventually.

[nikita]

You sound like a nice guy, and this can also be a problem. Maybe you're overly nice, or you come off as too friendly. Some women may take that and think " Oh, he's just being nice to have sex with me " or something. Women are paranoid, and we're very self concious, so even being too nice can make us think wrong things. Maybe you should not be as friendly, and let the women come to you. I mean, I don't know about other girls but I kind of like a guy that's hard-to-get.

[sweetdee3]

thats beautiful ... hehehe (=

keep being this way and don't change man ... there's hardly any guys left like you!

[Kate121490]

Ur my type of guy, I am looking for a guy just like you. The thing to me is saving yourself, is hard to come by today in a guy. I am saving myself for someone special. As for ur friends, they just need to freakin grow up. You sound way more mature then them, and that is rare to find in a guy. My name is Katelyn and I am 18.

[Aarii]

You don't have a problem; the other guys are just incredibly foolish and shallow. The girls probably DO like you, they just either don't know how to say it or they notice the "bravado" ones more. if you want more notice from girls who you find attractive, get them to notice you, by speaking up or changing you hairstyle. One day, you'll meet real women who find you atractive for you.

So just keep looking, she's probabaly right under your nose and you haven't found her yet

[Cool-Relax]

If you're always their friend, it's because you're too passive. Girls like the other guys because they're not afraid to go for what they want. You can be respectful and still assert yourself.

[thina22]

You are having a hard time finding a short time partner, but believe me, since you sound like a really nice guy. It would be a one-time-big-time deal.

[musicrocks44452]

In the long term, you'll most likely end up happy. They'll end up divorced and living in their mothers' basements.

[KayzaJ]

I can't really say what you're doing wrong, since I don't think you're doing anything wrong (but then I'm the girl who's never had a bf). Suffice it to say, you sound exactly like the type of guy that is very rare but very interesting to some girls (I'd say the good girls, but then there's a stereotype about good girls liking bad boys - though I don't and I'd qualify myself as such).

One thing I've figured out lately is that maybe the nice girls think you're too good and probably already taken? I know I've not met a single guy in the last few years that I liked who wasn't already in a very committed relationship.

Either way, on behalf of a certain subset of girls (I guess not all), thank you for being the respectful guy, I love that you're saving yourself for the right girl, and seriously - just keep being yourself. The right girl will come along :-)

[glitterberryalisa]

Wow... if only all guys were like you...

[Anonymous]

i know that you're really sweet. you aren't like many jerks out there in the world. you'll def get a great girl who'd be lucky to have you later. it takes a while to find a ms. right.. so good luck and keep acting the way you do

[Anonymous]

I think every girl around agrees that it would be awesome if more guys were like you.

Are you a bit shy or maybe not confident enough? You can be confident without disrespecting women.

If you think about it, even though it looks as though you're the one on the losing end at the moment, in the end you'll be the one who will know love as it should be.

[successfulskinnyguy]

You know, I was actually quite like you myself, and I was little little worse as far as nice guy syndrome was concerned. See, I actually never had tons of guy friends because I don't even hang out with those types of guys. For someone like you, with values, and morals, and holding off on it, it will be a tiny bit harder to find the right girl. You are on another level, and I am pretty sure the girl you find who works with you will be better than all those girls those guys are finding. And you know, because of you "niceness" what you have to do early on with a girl you like, is flirt or establish that you seek something more than friendship, because it will be too easy for them to stick you in the friend zone. Now, to get the girl you want, you need to feel as though you are the hottest best thing she can have, you need to KNOW that, you need to be confident. Now, one thing that a lot of those losers have is confidence, and strong feelings generally. They say what they want, and do what they want. You have to be different from other guys by having an opinion, an express it, you need a girl to find you interesting, but still let them know you are classier than thos other guys, and you know how to treat a girl. I hope that helps. Just think, you can be like them, or you can be of a better group of guys...

[chrisg]

It's funny how all the girls on these things seem to want guys like you (it sounded like a pretty acurate description of myself too to be honest) but you never seem to actually meet these girls, or at least I don't, but I just try to tell myself that all the girls who weren't interested were just doing me a favour as they help to filter out the girls who are actually worth knowing, seems to be a very long and slow process though.

[Dela1111]

I think your problem is that you take guy talk way too serious for one. Secondly maybe the girls in your area are attracted to that type of guy.

[cjwright79]

Yeah I know the feeling all too well. I will quote you a Chinese proverb:

"Starving to death is a small thing, but losing your integrity is a large one."

Your chums of course never had integrity, but one day you will be glad that you do. It's the best thing a person could have!

[FaceInTheCrowd]

I read an interesting article that said " Nice guys finish last" not my quote. And went on to explain how women see nice behavior asa form of low esteem or lack of confidence. By corollary the men that were A-holes were seen as more desirable.

Makes you wonder... and to think all this time I shouldhave been speaking my mind instead of biting my tongue :)

[martyfellow]

MOst of the women today are only interested in money and could care less about what kind of guy you are. In fact, they're more comfortable with jerks, who after all, they have more in common with.

[JRoad]

God, the guys at my work bug me like this too. They are fun to be with, but they are kinda douches too. And my god do they ever talk about their recent conquests if they can be called that. I'm 20 and I'm in the same boat as you. From what I've seen, girls around our age like the jerks to start with but you need to know when to change to that nice guy. Starting with a playful insult to a quick conversation seems to work, at least for me lately.

[stevo]

You sound just like me. But take it like this, if they won't look at you, then you're likely better off anyway. I don't have a clue as to why they do this, maybe it's self-esteem or self-doubt, or maybe they're just shy, having a hard time, hell, the list could be endless. I used to let this same thing bother me, but it doesn't so much anymore. But don't change who you are just to get a girlfriend, because one day, one will like you for you.

[EyeSplice]

according to therapist Laurie Ingram, a huge percentage of American women are functioning at the emotional level of a nine or ten year old child.

so think about how a 10 year old signals affection to a crush. do they say, "i like you and want to hang out?" no. do they invite you to a party? no. a ten year old who has a crush on you will call you a poo-face and throw pebbles at you.

so when you're behaving like a mature adult, a lot of women will respond to you like you're a boring teacher. roll their eyes, or simply tolerate you until you're gone. if you want to get anywhere with girls like these, you've got to get on their immature level with teasing, insults, etc.

More info from Ingram and others in this book: link

[Mikecity]

i am right there with ya man, you have to be able to be flirty. I feel women in their 30s like our types, in the teens and 20s girls love the jerks... no matter what they say they do

[braden08]

i go through the same sh*t bro. all my friends get the girls be being assholes and I am respectful and I get nothing. I think I'm gunna start being a d***

[cjwright79]

Yeah, they get the girls, and you respect women. Makes perfect sense to me.

[benjammin09]

Hey I feel the same way as you. I hate it how whenever I go to clubs and bars and see women going for jerks, but I think it's because of this. Girls like bad boys because they aren't mature and all they want is a hot bod. WOMEN like real men. However being a real man also means you aren't whipped. I guess to me there is a difference between respecting women, and being whipped. I honestly hate it how girls our age like the jerks, but I also think there are a lot of girls who don't like jerks and want nice guys. Think of it this way to, most of your guy friends "conquests" are probably dumb sluts who have no self respect. My advice, go for young women who want a real man. Not an immature boy

[hunter8906]

Humans in general are superficial, there's no way around it, guys and gals are extremely superficial. But it doesn't always mean good looking. It could be the presence that the guys have. Younger women are attracted to the player, its how it is and how it will be for ages to come. Guys like us have it rough for our early years, none of the women we really want to be with see us in that light. Its extremely frustrating. They see us as friends that understand them, instead of a guy that they really click with. If your talking with one of the girls your interested in, and she starts talking to you about her boyfriend, you need to give that girl up as a lost cause in hopes of you and her getting together

[Just-A-Random-Guy]

There's your problem, you respect women.