Would you date a women 10 years older than you?

Question

I am interested in how much age really matters in relationships. Do guys really date older women seriously or is it just curiosity...to see what an older woman can "teach" them? I am very young looking for my age and get approached by a lot of men sometimes younger than me by 10 years but I am reluctant to date a guy so different in age to me. My friends say age doesn't matter but I think it does...I don't want to be that sad old woman being used for sex..what do you reckon?

Answer 1

daveyjones

Xper 3

You're absolutely right to be cynical, however it can work. I've often dated girls older than me. Sometimes quite a bit (18 years), sometimes just a few. I've always respected them and indeed probably treated them better than the expectant younger girls I've been with too.

Currently with someone a few years older and it's working fine. I think the comment about being at the same stage is helpful; if you're both working - i.e. he's not in education - and comfortable in supporting yourselves, then there's no reason your next relationship can't be with a guy younger than you.

Perhaps you may find the chemistry just sits better with a guy less than 10 years younger as opposed to a short term relationship with someone a lot younger. There are plenty of examples in that age range. If you have a guy in mind who you know likes you, don't feel too put off; set your stall out and be upfront about the age thing. I would guess his first reaction would be to tell you it doesn't matter and he certainly wouldn't want to offend you by having you think he considered the age difference. But once he's aware you're comfortable with the age difference, then just treat it like any other relationship. Coming from 'the younger guy' I have no problems in having a conversation that a girl older than me can completely relate to. As long as he's knowledgable about anything from music to travel you won't be sitting bored wondering if the physical will make up for the lack of chat.

One thing; if you do date a younger guy, you shouldn't feel the need to be as accommodating as possible; guys still like the chase; if you're dating he should still make the effort and feel you're worth it.

Good luck

React

caili

+1 y
A lot of very sensible advice - thank you......maybe I shouldnt be so cynical after all :)

Answer 2

caili

A lot of very sensible advice - thank you......maybe I shouldnt be so cynical after all :)

Answer 3

AlanHB | 100 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

I went out with a girl who was 7 years older than me. The sex was absolutely fantastic but there were times where the age thing was a problem. It was destined to end as she had established a career in my city, and I was about to graduate and leave.

React

caili

+1 y
Thanks for answering ......seems that despite all my girl friends saying age doesn't matter the reality isthat these "age gap" relationships don't work in real life :(
AlanHB

+1 y
It's not always bad - you just have to be at the same stage in your life.

Answer 4

caili

Thanks for answering ......seems that despite all my girl friends saying age doesn't matter the reality isthat these "age gap" relationships don't work in real life :(

Answer 5

AlanHB

It's not always bad - you just have to be at the same stage in your life.

Answer 6

Mudratt1

Xper 5

I am currently involved with someone 15 years younger than me and we are having a blast! I found honesty is best ... he was told my age right from the beginning. Same as you, I do not look my age, nor do I have the attitude my fellow "classmates" have. I am very spirited ... However, with all that being said, age does matter. My "friend" and I know this is for now ... not forever. I can not give him what he will adventually want ... kids. I am beyond that age. But, until then, we enjoy every moment we have together. We are both "learning" from each other. I say enjoy whatever crosses your path you never know when you'll have another chance.

React

caili

+1 y
Hi and thanks for your answer......to be honest it is very similar to the advice my close friends give me.....perhaps my reluctance is because I would love to find that "forever" instead of settling for the "for now" relationship. Glad you're having fun tho :)

Answer 7

caili

Hi and thanks for your answer......to be honest it is very similar to the advice my close friends give me.....perhaps my reluctance is because I would love to find that "forever" instead of settling for the "for now" relationship. Glad you're having fun tho :)

Answer 8

Cartiphilus | 89 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Do you really need to tell the guy you're ten years older than him? What happened to 'women always lie about their age'? Why can't you wait until the two of you become better acquainted before you tell him you true age?

React

caili

+1 y
I suppose I could lie but surely relationships are built on trust? I a looking for a long term meaningful relationship andI know how I would feel if it turned out the guy had been dishonest with me from the very start. Also the issue then becomes when do you tell him? After 3/4 dates? 6 months? the longer you wait the more likely it is that you either get tripped up in your lie nd look both foolish and deceitful or you then have to make a major issue out of it...the " we need to talk" scenerio
Cartiphilus

+1 y
Being 20 years older than her I was very worried once she knew my age she would change her mind. I never told her how old I was and she had never asked. One day at lunch together we were talking about horoscopes and she asked me what year I was born. I couldn't lie to her. After I told my heart was racing that she would say something I didn't want to hear. We're still together. Whew!!
caili

+1 y
Am glad to hear it worked out for you :) my cynical side wonders if the outcome would have been different if the roles were reversed.

Answer 9

caili

I suppose I could lie but surely relationships are built on trust? I a looking for a long term meaningful relationship andI know how I would feel if it turned out the guy had been dishonest with me from the very start. Also the issue then becomes when do you tell him? After 3/4 dates? 6 months? the longer you wait the more likely it is that you either get tripped up in your lie nd look both foolish and deceitful or you then have to make a major issue out of it...the " we need to talk" scenerio

Answer 10

Cartiphilus

Being 20 years older than her I was very worried once she knew my age she would change her mind. I never told her how old I was and she had never asked. One day at lunch together we were talking about horoscopes and she asked me what year I was born. I couldn't lie to her. After I told my heart was racing that she would say something I didn't want to hear. We're still together. Whew!!

Answer 11

caili

Am glad to hear it worked out for you :) my cynical side wonders if the outcome would have been different if the roles were reversed.

Would you date a women 10 years older than you?

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