What is this feeling that has been pulling me down? Guilt? Fear? What is it?

Well, it's quite long story and I don't like telling but I confessed to my crush (Muslim) just to get rid of my feelings (happens to my first and second crush) but it increases every month and he suggested a way to solve this which is being in a relationship, I want to and I really want to and I really mean it but I trust my own God and my parents also told me not to marry Muslims (my sister married a Muslim ) so I said no and I said I'd rather cry so better give this chance to his future girlfriend, I thought he suggest it as a joke but he said he was serious so I cried because I really want to be with him, he's so different than the other guys that I've met (don't ask me how different because you have to meet him to know him) , I did suffer and he doesn't want me to suffer but I told him I can endure it, I know he cares but it's because of religion that separates us and I blame for it, like who create all these walls between us and something like that... and now he's sad and I'm sad which is my fault of causing all these to happen, I want to fix this up as soon as possible and I'm determined to do it because I don't want this to continue (the awkwardness between us) but there's this feeling dragging me down as it crawls up from my toe to head which makes me feel like nausea a bit but it's not and cause my chest and heart to hurt... I hope you guys understand and know what I'm talking about and tell me what these feelings are... thank you
What is this feeling that has been pulling me down? Guilt? Fear? What is it?
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