I believe I am in an abusive relationship and I feel very alone. Why is this so hard?

I have been with a man for 7 years. In the past he has hurt me, but after hearing his "I'm sorrys, it will never happen again, I love you, I don't know why I do these things," I have always taken him back. He is physically abusive when he is drunk. Emotionally abusive when sober. We have a small child together and I have tried all I can do to make it work. This past weekend (while drunk) punched me in the face 3 or 4 times, knocking me out. 2 weeks before that, he bitch slapped me giving me a black eye. I know this behavior is wrong and unacceptable, so I finally kicked him out of our home after he punched me. I have never thought in my wildest dreams, that i would end up in a relationship like this and I have never imagined having my child end up with separate parents. I am damaged. I am ashamed. I am alone. I am scared. I cannot call the police to report, because last time I did so, he denied hurting me and I spoke the truth in defending myself and in doing so, I was arrested because they could not prove he tried to hurt me, even though I had a bloody and swollen lip. So because of that, my child can be taken away from me, if another abuse incident is reported. He has a history of domestic abuse. I guess the reason I'm writing this is to let it out and hear people's opinions. I have signed up to a local abuse program who will, hopefully, get me back to that strong woman i once was and help my damaged soul. Thanks everyone for taking the time in reading this. God Bless!
I believe I am in an abusive relationship and I feel very alone. Why is this so hard?
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