Lingering feelings for my ex is affecting my current relationship?

My ex and I were together for 5 years and I was 100% in love with him. I for sure thought he was the one and that I'd be with him for the rest of my life but I broke up with him because there were things that happened and I knew I'd never be able to trust him again.

It's been 2 years since my ex and I broke up and I'm now in a relationship with a guy I do really like. The problem is that feelings for my ex keep coming up and I'm having a hard time feeling okay being with my current boyfriend knowing that there are still feelings there for my ex. I know that I would never get back with my ex but I do know that in an ideal situation I would be with him and I guess I feel guilty for that. I don't think that I'll ever really be over my ex nor do I think I will let myself fall for someone to the extent that I did with him so it's just a weird situation to be in. I don't know if I'm supposed to be single for the rest of my life, or until someone else possibly breaks down all those barriers and I no longer see my ex as the love of my life, but I don't think that will happen. I have talked to my boyfriend about this but it probably hasn't been talked about enough, or as deeply as it should've been. I'm just confused as to what to do.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey listen you have two options.. Go back to your ex and leave your current boyfriend and let him find Somwone who is not a stuckup and who love him for real

    Or don't think about your ex at all... Grow up!!
    It's wrong and not fair to your current boyfriend... He didn't deserve a treatment like that...

    I don't care if your have feelings for your ex... Or not and if you go back to him or not but you got to take control of your mind and make a decision... And not think about your ex at all...
    The more you think the more stuck up you are gonna be.. It's no one's responsibility to get you over your ex!! It's your job

    You will never find anyone like your ex... Everyone is different so accept that and move on...

    So its your call

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    • I'm not going to break up with him because I still think about my ex. He knows how I feel and he chooses to continue to put himself in this position. I'm not his parent, he can make his own choices. I'm trying to figure out what's best for me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I think you still need to to heal. Your feelings for your ex are still strong and having a new boyfriend won't feel that void you have. You need to find happiness with yourself before you add another person into your life. You're still hurting and that won't do anything but being hurt to another person. You have to end this relationship now so that you can get your head together. You will love again and you will be completely over your ex when the time is right. One day you will be with an amazing guy and love him and you will question what it is you actually felt about your ex. But you have to heal first.

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What Girls & Guys Said

11
  • Perhaps you feel that you moved on without realizing that you still had feelings, what helps honestly is I remember the bad things they've done, al though I've forgiven them, I too would not be able to trust them again. also you were with him for 5 years, thats a long time, so all though those are big shoes to fill, don't put too much pressure on your present boyfriend (in your head) to over ride your ex, it'll come in time if it's meant to.

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  • did you and your ex have kids

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