Is a woman more likely to be openly sexual with someone who isn't boyfriend material (see details)?

Answer these points and state WHY (you can refer to the points by their label if it helps e. g. A2)

A) Ok, it seems like women act more sexual/less innocent around guys who aren't boyfriend material? So both of the two hypothetical guys are attractive physically and both confident.

1. Boyfriend material guy = sweet to her, nice to her, respectful whilst still being attractively outgoing and confident, flirts whilst still being a gentleman, listens and responds to what she is saying whether by text or in person, texts her etc.

Pls note boyfriend material guy may meet her when she has a boyfriend, is he still boyfriend material when she becomes single?

2. The other guy = not that sweet, more crazy, poser/player (e. g. will openly on fb post photos with her and other girls with him in the middle saying "with fitties"), acts more forward/in your face, more touchy, no sweet texts, only to meet, openly calls lots of women hot even in front of her

He may act sexual/suggestive to her even whilst she has a boyfriend.

B) Explain why most women (including nice ones) act more sexual (even more slutty/touchy) around guy 2 (the other guy) than a boyfriend material guy? She may pose more suggestively in pictures, she may text them back more and as well as being outgoing to said guy and not acting innocent, she may even sleep with him QUICKLY. Whereas the boyfriend material guy sees her being innocent to him, she may not be as touchy and is more shy waiting for him to make all the moves.

C) Explain the case if she met both guys when she had a boyfriend and then she becomes single.

D) Would she be kinkier/more sexual with either guy? E. g. in terms of how dirty she'd be in the bedroom? Would she be fully sexual and enjoy dirty talk with boyfriend material guy or love it when the other guy calls her a slut and tells her to beg for it?
How are you qualifying a good guy friend like in point C as someone who is boyfriend material, someone who is boyfriend material and you could hook up with (and still be friends) and someone you would just fuck?

Is a good guy ruled out for sex? Let's not forget that just cos a guy is boyfriend material doesn't mean you have to relationship him. He might not want one either. Maybe you two can bang and still be friends (most likely given he's a good guy and isn't going to hit and quit you)?

Why reward bad guys?


Most Helpful Girl

  • All the women I know do the same things with their boyfriend as with guys they hook up with. Least likely to have wild, experimental sex would be ONS, in my opinion.

    You could possibly guess that more sexually permissive girls are more open to casual sex, and also drawn to more sexually outgoing partners.

    My group of friends were fairly promiscuous and I've never seen them sleep with one kind of guy and date another, honestly.

    • She's not likely to be sexually engaging with men she doesn't want to have sex with, though. But she doesn't settle down with him, either.

    • Show All
    • Thoughts

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll just speak from my experience with women.
    A1) Depends on the woman, and I don't know if I can really give you a generalization here. Except, that younger women will typically go after bad boys, and older women are looking for maturity.

    There is however some validity, and scientific evidence, that women go after men similar to their fathers. In a lot of cases, this may mean that they go after guys that are a bit wild, and emotionally distant. So, Boyfriend material, may not mean what you think it means, because it is more subconscious than anything else.

    A2) Again, depends entirely on the woman. Although in my experience, younger women will typically be more sexual with this guy; they will or also give this guy more attention. But, this guy could also be more of a life experience than a serious boyfriend.

    B1) Because the second guy is sexy. That's really pretty much it. The first guy is the guy you buy a white picket fence with, and have 2 kids name Charlie and Janelle with. That guy ain't sexy, he's responsible. I don't know what to tell you, that's just the truth.

    However, these aren't mutually exclusive. You can be sexy, confident, successful, and still treat women with respect. It's the way you make a woman feel, not that you are a dick.

    C. Again, depends on the woman. But, I think she'd be looking for a rebound and would probably go with guy 2.

    D. No idea. That all depends on what either guy is like in the bedroom.

    • Thanks, ok so
      A1) What about nicer/cute women who are those sweet ones? So why would a woman not like the first guy more than the second? I mean is it his fault he meets her when she is taken? What if he uplifts her and she enjoys his sweet texts and fun energetic vibe?

      A2) So things like him posting stuff on fb with her and other women round him saying "theboss" and her liking it? Wtf, so he doesn't text sweet stuff, doesn't demonstrate a caring attitude, but rowdy behavior leads to her being less innocent round him (whether this leads to no sex even, she's still very touchy right)?

      B1) I ran out of words, but the first guy is more your carey grant/casanova smooth talker. He is also sweet and a gentleman. Think guy in a tuxedo. She tells him he's great. The second guy is more of a rowdy guy who posts shit on fb etc. He's not physically any more attractive than the first. Based on this? The first guy treats women with more respect?

    • Show All
    • I've been talking to you on your other post that you sent me the link to

    • @flypaper Ok I think I replied, look forward to your thoughts there?

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 22

  • I can only speak for myself. I'm demisexual so there's no way I would be sexual towards someone I didn't see as boyfriend material somehow.

    • Interesting point and very hot profile pic btw!

      Pls can you answer my questions in points A, B, C and D. Thanks

    • Show All
    • Erm ok thanks for not answering then?

    • See what regulatus said?

  • Please don't use that "most women" lingo... The women you're describing are out to have a good time and looking to screw. They're not out to be saints or even "ladylike" and not looking for a "good guy" or even a boyfriend. Just like when guys go out, they women have an agenda.

    First off, I wouldn't be romantically interest in Guy 2 because obviously he's a player and I don't want to be played. At most I'd probably hang out for fun and be flirty in a group but it would never go beyond that.

    Secondly, if I'm kinkier right off the bat with a guy, it's because I just want sex. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I'm looking for a warm body I want to bed. I'll give him my attention and say and do things with him so he gets the hint. I'm not looking for long-term. I'm looking for right now.

    Guy #1 would get my full attention but I'm not trying to sleep with him right away because I want to get to know him better. I don't want him to get distracted by the possibility of sex and take me seriously. I would flirt and be fully engaged in the conversation. With boyfriend material, I take my time. Once we're a thing I get kinky as hell.

    • Firstly pls respond to the lettered points as it makes this much easier and addresses my question. This is not a take. I will however, respond to your points:

      A lot of women then, sadly even the nice ones do. Tbh I am not interested in unnice girls! They are not attractive. The nice ones are (nice inside and out). But they also seem to exhibit the notion of acting innocent around good boyfriend material guys and more suggestive around guys who openly do the things I have stated above.

      Ok, so firstly, you not being romantically into guy 2 is a good sign. But then when you say hang out for fun, what stops you being flirty in a group with guy 1? This is what I mean. If guy 1 sees you on fb being very flirty/posing with other women and guy 2, then he's gonna feel like wtf? So I guess she doesn't like me. At the very least he'll feel hurt as he is acting extra nice cos he likes you.

    • Show All
    • Well?

    • Thoughts Willow?

  • You can divide people into groups.
    I can relate this question to myself perfectly.
    Many go through phases in life and can go from being a player to serious as soon as they meet someone worth it.

    I wasn't going to refuse wild sex just because I hadn't met my man yet. I didn't even know someone so good for me existed.
    He is like the son of a preacher man whilst still being the best in bed,
    And I will be his wife.

    I used to have fun and text men suggestively because I didn't care what they thought of me and wanted too. But now I am more mature and wouldn't dream of sexting. It was fun back then though!

    My man today likes me classy, elegant and sexy. And I feel like I upgraded myself in every way.
    I met him at the right time because I was getting bored of being a party girl. Even worked as an escort.
    He would never ask me to dirty talk him and its so refreshing. So sexy. He is in control and has my FULL respect unlike the slutty men I used to be slutty with who I respected as people but nothing more! :)

    • That's very interesting and really nice points. Happy that you feel happier now, good stuff.

      May I ask whether you could please answer my questons in A, B, C and D?

    • Show All
    • 1. That's great, but do you show him and try to impress him? Also pls relate this to point C - i. e. if u met this guy when you had a boyfriend, become friends (out of working together at uni), stay in touch, meet ups and text etc, and later on in life you become single?
      2. Why is it any different if it's the same person? Maybe you and he don't want a relationship with anyone right now. So why wouldn't u sleep with him versus a douche? The boyfriend material guy is a decent friend who cares about you. The sex would be the same, it's the same person! And in the case of meeting like in point C, what would both of u have to do to end up in bed together and still be friends?
      3. That's intersting. Some girls on here are saying they would sleep with the second guy in the description above?

    • Pls your thoughts?

  • When I was younger, yes. I cared more about a boyfriend's opinion than a FWB's opinion. Wanted to try new things but was scared about what a boyfriend might think.

    Had one tell me wanting to be choked and smacked was "crazy, weird shit". Then, a friends with benefits got me into it.

    Now? No.
    You're not my boyfriend, you don't get my freaky side.
    Boyfriend? Get ready for some freaky af shit amd lots of it. 😏

    • Pls answer in relation to points A, B, C and D like mooky did. Otherwise you're not answering the question which clearly states "see details".

    • Show All
    • Lovely talking to you. :3

    • Seriously stop wasting time. You DON'T know f all. You're just acting like it. Learn to READ and answer the question. If this was an exam, you would have scored 0 marks and be repeating the entire year.

      Either help or don't be rude to other people. Your arrogance is disgusting.

  • Nope, I am more open with a guy who is my boyfriend than I would be with some random. I don't hook up though.

    I feel safer with a guy who is my boyfriend, and know he will respect me and if I don't like what is happening it will stop. I feel like with a random person, they wouldn't respect me as much.

    • Interesting and good points. Please actually answer the question though? As in points A, B, C and D?

    • Show All
    • Ok so just cos u became friends and met when you were taken, he's not ruled out from becoming a boyfriend right?

      Secondly, if you aren't looking for a relationship, can you still have sex casually with the sweet guy?

      Thirdly, if you aren't looking to boyfriend the sweet guy forever, and he feels the same way about you but you still both like each other a lot, can you both hookup and still be friends forever after?

    • Thoughts

  • I'm more likely to be sexually open with someone I really trust and have known for a while so it's more likely I'll be like that with a boyfriend rather than a one night stand.

    • Ok nice points. But pls address the actual points A, B, C and D in the question. Would appreciate your help, thanks

    • Show All
    • B isn't true thought so how can I explain something I don't think is true? and I don't even know how to answer C. My answer is non of it is necessarily true, I can't answer for other women as I'm only myself and I would do non of this.

    • Fair enough if u don't know don't worry

  • yes, for me that is the case, because when talking to a potential boyfriend, you don't want to push them away, scare them, so you keep quiet on those topics, more conservative then a nn potential boyfriend. talking to a guy who you aren't interested in romantically, about sexual desires, or anything sexual is easier because you don't have feelings for them, and is more of a casual conversation or flirtatious, compared to the previous, which would be a serious conversation.

    • 1. Pls explain in relation to the two guys mentioned in point A, your thoughts on part C pls.

      2. As for what you're saying on this comment, "potential boyfriend" is key. You wouldn't necessarily boyfriend him. You might still just be friends. So why is he ruled out when it comes to passionate sex? He's more likely to be around instead of a hit and quit

    • Isn't it perverse?

  • 2b) I believe most girls are sexual in some moments of their life. They have their moments when they want to allow that part of them to show, otherwise you only see glimpses of it. If she was single she would pose suggestively anyways. Not all the time, glimpses of it like i mentioned previously.

    I feel like guy (A2) is known as "the fun type" his not looking for anything serious, just whatever, go with his flow.. Girls who aren't interested in anything and looking for a fun time would be around him a lot.

    Guy (A1) If she knew his boyfriend material, she would only seek him if she is interested to commit and settle down with him for a long term situation. I'm sure guy (A2) spent no time getting to know her before anything but she's opened up emotionally to guy (A1) and he supposingly knows about her a lot (building rapport).

    2c) She met both guys, she has a boyfriend (you'd hope she's loyal) but things turn down hill and she becomes single. Guy (A1) would be there for her. To get her through the make up mess and etc, guy (A2) seems like he'd be the distraction.

    2d) It depends on her. She will act differently outside of the bedroom. If she is interested in you she'd show that affectionate, sweet loving side of her in the bedroom AND outside of the bedroom

    • Firstly, thank you for actually addressing the question here, must be one of the first!

      2b) I get what you mean. Can you clarify glimpses of her sexualness?

      So you're saying:
      A) Guy 2 is the fun type, ok I get that. But don't forget guy 1 is fun as well, just not as showy and explicit (e. g. guy 2 gets you and other females posing with him and puts it on fb titled "hotties, like a boss"). Think guy 1 being your bond and guy 2 being more of a pure sexual player, no sweet texts, no gentleman stuff. It's just why would nice girls still be touchy with guy 2 and not with guy 1 (the charming bond like friend)?

    • Show All
    • Your thoughts would really be appreciated?

    • Mooooky?

  • Boyfriend material= omfg gimme dat boy right hella now! *proceeds to Facebook stalk*

    If you're boyfriend material then you're then one getting All the attention

    • Please answer A, B C and D

    • Show All
    • Point C, pls answer the questions

    • What if I dont🙃

  • A) Guys you want to actually be with you need to play harder to get. It's all stupid games. We're taught that guys want sweet innocent girls especially the nice ones.

    B) He initiates it. She's not sure the boundaries on the first guys. The second guy doesn't have boundaries so she has the option to create them.

    C) Depends on what the relationship was like if she was really hurt she will most likely want a guy that makes her feel hot and sexy and the "assholes" are usually better at that. Also usually don't want someone new right out of a real relationship so it would just be leading on the nice guy and sometime you just want to get laid.

    D) Kink has nothing to do with who your with it's all about your sexual preference. The other guy might be more open in the bedroom

    • Really great points! Ok, so then:

      A) But do you have to play hard to get? So for instance, she acts more suggestively/touchy around the other guy versus boyfriend material guy? This puts boyfriend material guy off and he feels like she isn't reciprocating making him more nervous and even more worried about escalating sexually? And why would a woman do that if she is more interested in a sweet guy? Does she not prefer those guy's qualities and behavior?

      B) Very interesting point. So is it just congruence? You act like a loud rowdy guy and she'll just run with it? But it seems perverse that she would be fun around a guy who isn't interested in texting her or listen to her and innocent around the good guy? So she creates a boundary in the good guy case, and poses amongst other "fitties" with the other guy? Maybe even sleep with the guy fast?

    • Show All
    • Then take a hint when I don't answer 20days

    • Take a hint when you're down voted lol! You didn't answer the question and probably never will!

  • Show more from Girls

What Guys Said 9

  • in my opinion women are more sexually open with a guy who ISN'T boyfriend material, because there is no risk. She doesn't care if he thinks she is a slut and doesn't want to date her.

    To further explain, take the boyfriend-material-guy. When a girl meets him and finds him sexually attractive and notices he is "a keeper", she is SCARED of losing his interest long term and being written off as a "slut not worth commitment ".

    So out of FEAR and self defense, she holds back sexually. She waits longer to have any sexual play and out of FEAR of being judged as a "slut not worth commitment", she keeps some of her kinks hidden (such as liking to be choked/slapped, oral techniques, anal, etc)... until she feels she won't be adversely judged as a "slut not worth commitment".

    With women being viewed as the more innocent sex, women are VERY uncomfortable with a guy having the "moral high ground" over them.

    This is why a guy coming off as too 'perfect' when meeting girls is a negative. Show that you are are a sinful flawed human who isn't angelic and perfect... and women will be more comfortable around you.

    • This is a very good assessment which most women (including on here) won't admit to. They keep regurgitating the mantra of "Oh I want to have a meaningful relationship and more with a boyfriend material guy" and will just have sex with the player. It seems then that sex is not worth a lot to them then? Totally fucked up.

      As you said, I wonder, is a woman actually more sexually open with a guy who isn't sweet, kind, charming etc cos she can just stop seeing him afterward more easily? I. e. he doesn't give her value?

      Why would she not be kinky with him, who is to say he isn't dirtier and much better in bed than a player who behaves as I described in point B?

      What do you make of point C?

      Will a woman allow a guy who is clearly flirting with multiple women and not caring ABOUT her, to get away with dirtier stuff in bed then?

      And HOW does a boyfriend material guy come off as flawed and someone who is open to sleeping with her and still being friends as in point C?

    • Show All
    • You're not providing ANY advice at all, that's the point lol!

      Advice = READING the question and answering it. You're the one spamming generic nonsense.

    • Didn't read it, useless!

  • Most girls do. I've experienced that in real life, and even on here girl have admit that too.
    I've asked why they will have casual sex with a guy they just met, but would wait months for a guy they like, and they all said "because the stranger isn't boyfriend material".

    So yeah, most girls, except those who are religious and/or waiting for marriage, will have sex with a guy they don't see as boyfriend material, faster than with a guy they want a relationship with.

    • Why do they do that lol?

      So why can u not also sleep with the boyfriend material guy? Just cos he is boyfriend material doesn't mean he will be the last guy you spend your life with?

      Who says he isn't up for sex too?

      Can u also answer in terms of points A, B, C and D pls/

    • Show All
    • Examples?

    • Examples pls

  • Yes. An anonymous tryst behind a dumpster gets a woman much more excited than her boring boyfriend. Tyrone the felon gets much more experimental pussy than boyfriend Bob the accountant, who only gets vanilla sex and birthday blowjobs. Alpha fucks, beta bucks.

    • I kinda get what u mean. So are u saying, sweet love making is for her boyfriend, and dominant kinky sex is for a (has to be attractive) guy who doesn't care about her?

      Pls explain point C (she's been single for a year) and who would she bang once, have a casual relationship based on sex with and who she'd potentially bang and be life friends with?

      Guy 1 she met when she was taken at uni (not his fault right?) Uplifts her. Think carey grant, casanova tuxedo guy, charmer. Gentleman, respectful, and she tells him he's the best etc. Sends sweet texts, they kept in touch after uni (not bestie, but meet ups now and then). What should he do or what would she do? by the way the guy is not up for a relationshpi right now, hasn't told her about attracted to her yet.

      Guy 2 - rowdy guy in her dance social circle. No sweet texts. Can be fun. Posts fb photos with her and other women surrounding him with "theboss" caption which she also "likes". More player, less subtle


    • Show All
    • Canu pls respond to my points

  • Yeah, I would say this is true. I've seen this throughout my own life. If a woman is looking for boyfriend material she does seem to want to appear pure and virgin with him, I guess in an attempt to try to cement something serious. Yet when it's a guy she doesn't have any emotional attraction to she can/will act sexually open with him, yeah.

    Some women will still be sexually open with boyfriend material, but I do think most are like you're saying. I've noticed it too.

    • when you like someone you want tho take time to know them and se changes things doesn't mean she's trying to appear innocent etc. she could just genuinely want to take her time. i would. so it doesn't feel cheap. not so i doubt feel cheap. but so that i dont feel like im cheapening him.

    • Show All
    • Thoughts? You didn't reply

  • Who the fuck knows anymore? Women have no standards and have turned into hedonistic wannabes.

  • I can't answer your question the long way but I can give a generic one. Coz its long.

    The answer is neither. For girls sexuality is about confidence. The more confidence girls have the more open they are. That depends on what they want too. Most guys want to have sex but a little would be conservative. Most girls however are conservative to an extent but some are open. It depends on girl. Back to sexuality with the open ones, it depends on their confidence and for most girls it's about their trust with their guy. Most guys don't mind taking a girl home but most girls won't be comfortable and open due to lack of trust.

    So girls are more sexual around their boyfriends, coz they trust them over time. But they can also hold back at the beginning to make sure the guy don't think badly of her.

    • Interesting, good points.

      Why would a woman hold back and act innocent with a boyfriend material guy? Yet also do B.

      And what do you think about C, what should the guy do, how would the woman react to both? Or who would she want to sleep with?

      And part D?

    • Show All
    • For instance, the good guy who texts sweet stuff and she seems to like it. How the fuck does she not know he likes her. No guy does that to females. They should know that.

      So why would a guy who doesn't do that and even posts fb posts with her and other girls posing around him (in the same photo) under the title of "Like a boss with fitties!" get her being more suggestive/acting less innocent?

      So how does the good guy show he is up for casual sex since he also is not up for a relationship with his friend (not right now anyhow)? And still be friends after?

    • Any thoughts

  • I think it's true.

  • You are asking us why women's nature (and likings) are what they are?

    Of course the kinkier the men, the kinkier she'll be too.

    • Yes.

      Pls answer in terms of points A, B, C and D.

    • C at least

  • "Hidden Cam Reveals How Women Judge Men! Women's Double Standard EXPOSED! (+Infield) "

    • Yes I noted that video as well which I think someone else posted here. It brings up a very interesting point.

      The guy in the white suit seems like a douchebag, exactly like the guy 2 I mentioned with the fb posts of poses with her.

      Yet the gentleman who is more of a bond, gets her acting innocent?

      Of course, the woman in this video seems a little crazy anyhow and isn't above a 5/10. I'm talking about 9/10 nice girls.

      Please answer my question though, especially point C.

    • Show All
    • Interesting video, yeah but see my points

    • Isn't the guy in white suit just a dick? Not a true alpha?

Recommended myTakes