How do you know when a guy is serious about getting back together?

My Ex and I were going out for 2 years. For the first 8 months it was the best relationship ever built on friendship and he was the sweetest guy ever. Afterwards he became confused about what he wanted and from then onwards we became seriously on and off. We'd "see each other" unofficially and then break up again and then a month later he'd come crawling back and begging me.

I know I seem stupid for getting back together with an ex so many times and expecting it to work out differently each time, but every time he made it seem like it would be different. He put in so much effort and showed a different side to him which convinced me. But after a few days or weeks he would stop putting in effort again. I tried to be understanding but eventually it seemed like excuses. I'm very confrontational. I always make the mistake of pushing and asking when we'll next meet and we argued about how he never ever calls me and says he's 'not a phone call guy'. He'd stop putting in effort in our texts, meet less, never took me out on dates anymore - I would be over the moon to do anything even if it's just a free day out somewhere.

This really messed me up mentally over the past year. I have so much love for him but every time we get back together I always end up hurt. But he says he cares for me so much and needs me in his life.

Recently he started talking to me again and at first I was reluctant but we discussed what happened in our lives since we broke up and opened up, we both still felt that strong connection and agreed to meet. We made out (big mistake, moving too soon) and regretted it. Afterwards he's saying he wants to take it slow and isn't making any promises since last time he did and I always ended up disappointed. I see this as him not knowing what he wants and not being serious about me. He hasn't said when he next wants to see me at all, texting is poor but he says he's just busy with work. Am I expecting too much or is he messing with my head again? What do I do?
How do you know when a guy is serious about getting back together?
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