My boyfriend's ex won't go away! Help?

My boyfriend and his ex have been broken up for 3 years now and they did not end well at all (she cheated on him in his own bed ffs). They only dated for about a year and a half, maybe two years, but in that time she managed to get very close with his mother and sister.

I have not stopped hearing about this girl in one way or the other since the literal beginning of my relationship and I am absolutely sick of it. My boyfriend's mom talks about her constantly and even calls me by her name (our names aren't even remotely similar) and his sister follows his ex on every social media account that she has. I've explained to both of them how and why this makes me uncomfortable and I was told to "get over it" and that his ex was never going to go away.

On top of all that, my boyfriend has been in contact with her multiple times behind my back. I caught him in the act earlier this year and he sent her messages on Facebook saying that he missed her. They spoke over text a few times, but he deleted the records so I have no idea what they said to each other. Every time I try to talk to him about things he gets angry and shuts me down. And his story has changed several times over the past few months.

I really don't know what to do here. I am so stressed and unhappy and I'm really on the verge of calling it quits. I don't want to let his past ruin our potential future but I can't live in doubt any longer. What should I do?
My boyfriend's ex won't go away! Help?
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