What would your warning label say?

You know how the law says that products have to have warning labels? Especially drugs? "WARNING: don't give this to children under four years old. Don't operate heavy machinery after taking this drug." Stuff like that.

Wouldn't it be great if PEOPLE had warning labels? Of course I know it will never happen, but if you would care to indulge me in my fantasy, what would YOUR warning label say? It could be for prospective friends, romantic partners, family, anyone. By way of example, here is mine:

"WARNING - might cause exhaustion due to indecision. Not responsible for frustration due to exacting eating habits, lack of confidence or willingness to be social. Will likely want to stay in most nights. Does not talk much. Far-afield sense of humor. Does not mix well with drugs and alcohol. Does not illegally download stuff - do not encourage if you value fun times. Not responsible for any cognitive dissonance that may occur from being with someone who will question and test your every statement. Best used with bicycles instead of cars."
What would your warning label say?
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