He's acting sort of cold for a person who says he loves me and can't live without me.

Hey everyone,

so the thing is I've been living with this guy (same age as me, 23) for a bit more than 2 years now but only as flatmates/ friends. About a month ago we slept together. For the record, it was his idea. I've been sort of in love with him for some time now but I only admitted to that afterward. He told me he feels the same way. I don't think either of us has been in love or in a real relationship before, so after some debating and arguments we sort of settled on that we should try and make something out of this.

Now, I'm not saying that it's easy in any way to bare/ or live with me either but he's just being weird. At least I think so. For the most part he's incapable of showing any kind of interest in me other than like we were just buddies. OK, to be fair, about a week after we slept together he did want to do it again but I told him off. The reason for that was that we were on very rocky grounds back than and I had no clue if he likes me or I'm just convenient for him.

Thing is he's acting sort of cold for a person who says he loves me and can't live without me. Which he does say and looks sincere too when I throw a fit sometimes.

Am I the problem or is there something wrong with him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are not the problem; he is giving you the cold shoulder...perhaps he feels that so soon he is emotionally dependent on you (and needs to hide this from everybody including himself). Probably he is showing some passive aggression; must feel too "trapped" by his own feelings about you and doesn't know how to sort them out.

    Give him some space, don't go to bed if the emotional connection is not there, and get busy with your own life. Is it possible to behave as before, when you were friends? this will send him the message that you are not trapping or caging him...and he can sort out his own situation.

    Be nice, caring but detached, you don't have a serious relationship now but a connection that suddenly became sexual. He needs to own his own feelings and not to be scared of proximity!


    • Thanx, well you know I tried a couple of times to go back like we used to be. Told him to let's just be friends a couple of times when he was driving me whacko and I was on the verge of saying something I'd probably regret. He wouldn't accept that either though. This isn't good for either of us but he refuses to choose between A and B, and refuses to understand that there's no third option...Believe me man, I'd give him all the freakin space he wants, it's just that he won't have it.

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