Is it easier to find love if you stop looking for it?

Please elaborate on your opinion, thanks!

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
1321

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • No. And unlike the movies, it's the EXCEPTION to the rule that you just happen to run into a great person when you aren't looking. By far, the more successful strategy for finding a good mate is to MAKE A STRONG EFFORT and to TAKE A SMART APPROACH.

    For girls especially, they need to realize that it's a numbers game, and a girl's job is to FILTER FILTER FILTER.

    For every 100 guys you meet, only 2 or 3 of them are likely to be a decent match, which means 97% of the guys you meet aren't the guy for you. But at least 80 of those same guys you meet will have approached you or made contact in some way because THEY were interested (and by "interested", I *mostly* mean "interested in having sex with you."), so you're going to have to do some work to sort through which guys have potential and which ones don't.

    You should be able to eliminate at least half of that number within 30 seconds - sometimes much less - because some won't be your type physically, or act like assholes. The other ones you may have to have a bit more conversation with, but the idea is to figure out what THEY are looking for and decide quickly if they are to be eliminated or not. For the ones that aren't eliminated (around 10-20 of the original 100), you may need to go on a date with them to know. Let's assume you go on 15 dates - 10 of them will likely be eliminated after the date. Now you've got 5 left, with 2 or 3 potential candidates. That means 5 second dates, and maybe 3 third dates, and you're likely to have a winner or two (realize, of course, that you wont' have 100 guys all at once - in reality, this will happen over a several month period at the very least).

    The idea I'm trying to get across is that it's going to take TIME, WORK, EFFORT, and being smart enough to look for the RIGHT THINGS in order to narrow the field down to the best guys for you. You're going to have to ASK QUESTIONS designed to determine long-term relationship compatibility - not just what movies or music he likes. You'll need to talk about his thoughts on religion, family, money, sex, marriage, children, careers, etc. (this is 1st and 2nd date stuff, after they've made it that far).

    Treat it like you've been tasked to hire the best possible employee - except YOU are the company and the position available is being your boyfriend. INTERVIEW them and go over their "resume" and make good, solid choices.

    1|1
    0|2
  • Very few things just fall into your lap in life. If we truly desire something in life we have to pursue it. Having said that, working on yourself and your own passions and confidence will draw people to you

    1|1
    0|0
  • Is it easier to find a good job if you're not looking for one?
    Is it easier to find a good residence if you're not looking for one?
    Is it easier to find good friends if you're not trying to make friends?

    Then why on earth would it be easier to find love if you're not looking for people you could have a relationship with?

    0|3
    0|0
    • 2d

      I don't know because your desperation leaks through and makes you unappealing lol

    • 2d

      Hmm. Is it desperate to be looking? You can be keeping an eye out and trying to meet romantic prospects without being desperate.

  • It's "easier" on you because you're not focused on it. That's it.

    0|3
    0|0
  • Of course not. The universe doesn't care about you so chances are nothing happens unless you work for it or someone else helps you. Most men would die alone of they didn't put a lot of work into going after women, and even women need to at the very least put themselves out there and seem approachable or they'll die alone too.

    0|1
    0|0
  • just another cliche.

    don't put all your faith into it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, that's a feel good myth.

    0|1
    0|0
  • You don't need to look for it. As long as you try to improve yourself in all areas in your life, that part will appear on it's own.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No it just makes you blindier to love by not acknowledging. you have to be looking for it to want it. I use to think it was easier it's not you have to be ready yourself of course love will come not all of it is what you looking for.

    0|0
    0|1
  • if you try to much you'll just run into a bunch of heartbreaks

    0|1
    0|0
  • For me it's usually happened when I least expected it. It's like it won't happen till it needs to happen if that makes any sense. Till that time I suggest you take care of yourself, build a personality and a body to go along with it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Haha I don't know about that it's been pretty hard looking for it and waiting.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Absolutely

    0|0
    0|0
  • If your life is interesting, then people will be attracted towards you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No i know because I don't look And I still don't have it

    0|0
    0|1
  • Its easy if you dont think about it

    0|0
    0|0
  • lol... do u think... it's a thing to find some where?

    0|0
    0|0
  • You have go for it! What you ask you will get. If dint ask. U ll never know.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 3d

      But before searching for love. U have to make stable base for yourself... Example: money, time, attention etc

  • Love is a myth.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course not. Love is only for the chosen few.

    0|0
    0|0
  • So they say

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 13

  • No.
    People don't find love if they put zero effort into seeking it out. Love is not something you 'find' but more like.. stumble upon. It often catches people unsuspectingly. If you actively look for it, you're more than likely to be hindered or blinded by your conscious ideals put into your mind by far too many romcoms making you think that it's love only if the guy pays for your meal every time you go out, if he takes weeks off of work just so he can spend every day with you, etc.. Which obviously is true only in movies.

    Sitting on your ass and waiting for mr./mrs. right to stumble upon you isn't going to work, either. Love is something people MIGHT find if they make somewhat of an effort to meet people of the opposite sex, and adopt the mindset that they're willing to make themselves emotionally vulnerable or in other words willing to fall. A process which, along with putting your pride and habits aside in some cases won't be easy, but could very well turn out to be completely worth it.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Yep, totally.
    The fact is that you should really stop looking for it. Do other things, get busy.
    When you are desperate you will never find love ;)

    1|2
    0|0
  • Yes because you don't get so obsessed over it and stressed out...
    But the trick here is you can't sit in your house and wait for it to happen because it won't.
    You have to actually go out, even if you don't ask people out, you'd have to chat, be connected... approachable...
    And that way, yes, it's easier...

    But if you're an introvert who doesn't like doing these things, then I don't know what would be the easiest way... and the safest (I still firmly believe that finding your SO on the internet is pretty stupid... and unsafe).

    0|1
    0|0
    • 3d

      Introverts likes going out, they just dont like parties and crowded places.

    • 3d

      @danii363 I'm an introvert... and not that fond of going out myself...
      But I'm sure some love it, most I'm pretty sure aren't that fond of it.

  • Finding love isn't really the hard bit, its making the first move. If you sit and do nothing who knows how many guys are attracted to you but are too shy to do anything. If you really like a guy then its always best to make the first move yourself, even if it is super embarrassing lol

    0|1
    0|0
  • I would say yes because if you're not too busy looking for love, you're living your life. You need to learn how to love yourself before someone can love you. I think when you're where you want to be in life or you're happy with your life, you'll find someone who would want to be with you because they want to be a part of your life. I always fall for guys who have their life together and it made me realize that in order to be with them, I want to be where they are in life too.

    0|0
    0|0
  • From my experience, yes

    0|1
    0|0
  • fuck love.. eat pizza

    0|0
    0|1
  • Harder nothing is easy

    0|1
    0|0
  • No. I don't think that's a good advice. You need to put yourself out there. Date and find the one for you. It's not easy but nobody said it was easy.

    0|1
    0|1
  • Only if your still leave the house :) but in a way yes. The less desperate your vibe is the better.

    0|0
    0|0
  • love finds you. you can't look for it. it happens at the most inopportune time but that's the way life works. its like the old saying we can't have kids til we can afford them, well when are you ever going to be able to afford them

    0|0
    0|0
  • I really don't know..

    0|0
    0|0
  • Many people say that to single people "stop looking and it will happen" but I don't believe it's true. I am an example that it isn't.

    0|1
    0|1
Loading...