Did he truly love me?

Been dating my now ex boyfriend for 8 months. Genuinely loved and trusted him and i always stayed loyal to him. Unfortunately found out today he has been cheating on me for the past 6 months. I found out through fb msgs saying he fucked some girl. On that date i remember him saying he went to a restaurant and he did not tell me with who. I wait for his video call all night that never came cause he was fucking that girl he met off tinder. He really hurt me so much for seeing someone for 6 months as recently saw her as last week when i was on vacation. We went out on dates held hands had sex and so much more. I confronted him and he said he's sorry and genuinely loves me and she means nothing to him. I am not taking him back obviously. None of his friends told me about this and they knew she was coming over. I could see they do not want to get involved. I wish someone had told me sooner. He literally has no reason to cheat as i gave him my all. Why did he do this me? I dont think you can love and cheat at the same time. Plus she really was not good looking. No one deserves this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, he truly used you. Good thing you found out sooner than later.

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    • No i wish i found out as soon as it happened in May

    • Also, he said the other girl meant nothing? Think what he would say about you if the other girl knew? He'd say to her, "She meant nothing".

    • The girl asked if he had a girlfriend and he said he didn't.. How fucked up is that

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • You're right; no one deserves to be cheated on. He said what he said because he thought you would be naive enough to believe him. He broke your trust in one of the worst ways possible. If he truly loved you, he would have been able to resist the urge to cheat. You're better off without him.

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  • The moment you said she was good looking I got confidence in my idea. Many men (I speak from personal experience) let their hormones drive them. That much is known by many. But what few actually realize is while a man likely knows it's wrong and not what he wants, sex and love aren't necessarily connected. It can be best with the one you love but there are men who can fuck around and feel nothing at all. I thought this was just a matter of how society brings men up but i learned in my AP psychology course that men and women are wired differently when it comes to settling down. Women are more prone to a single mate and having kids while men are evolutionarily drawn to having multiple mates. It is thought by some that this is connected to the fact that women are not indefinitely fertile like men. They can't do their part as far as baby making all their lives without serious risk but men can. It's just sex for them while it means more for women often times.

    I'm saying all this to help you understand the why of the matter and that he very well could love you and only you BUT it is no excuse for disrespecting your relationship like that.

    She meant nothing to him most likely. He LOVED you more than likely. But was not man enough to control himself. You deserve better

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    • He still should not have done it. I told him i will never forgive him and he went bawling. Thats what he gets for disrespecting what we we had for 6 months

    • You're so right

  • He does not view the world the same way you do so you can never really understand ‘why’. Some people just are wired to do things like those addicted to gambling/booze.

    Don’t get hung up on the word love. It is totally meaningless. All that matters is how a person treats you. Whether they say they love you 1,000 times or zero should make no difference.

    As far as the other woman’s looks. That does not matter. Ever.

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  • Move on and put this behind you. You deserve better than this.

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  • 1. your right no one deserves this
    2. this is why sex and relationships are mutually inclusive concepts for me
    3. my first response is know he did not love you, and frankly if he is under 25 he really doesn't have the life experience or capacity to know what that actually means

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  • No he doesn't love you and never did. People like have a consistent someone while they pursue better someone's. Don't ask me why I have just seen it many times and I don't understand it either.

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    • Sad part is we had so many intimate moments like looking each other in the eyes saying we love each other now all that means nothing to me

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    • Imagine that happening to you for 6 months.. I was so incredibly faithful as well

    • You're gunna have to look at the bright side here, you caught him. No more wondering, no my searching, no more bull shit. Walk off, drop your mic.

  • You've been double dipped lol

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  • You knew he was cheating and still had a sex with him, do i understand you correctly?

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    • I had NO idea he was cheating till recently. The other girl had no idea he had a girlfriend. But my suspcions about him were right all along

  • Some people just suck, best answer I can give you. Some people just suck and are massive dicks and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

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    • I really thought he changed and was different. Next time ill learn to trust my instinct

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    • can't really relax with all the thoughts im having of him having a girl in the same bed i was in

    • Listening to music can really help. It doesn't mean it will erase the sadness, and resentment but it will give you a much needed mental break so that you can function again through the rest of the day.

  • Well I don't know

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  • I don't think cheating and live go together ever.

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  • Stay away from that kind of person.

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  • I don't really know how you could cheat on someone you truly cared about. If you really love someone, then you wouldn't want to do something you knew was going to hurt them so badly.

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    • No excuses... He kept saying im sorry i love you so much. He physically and emotionally cheated on me

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    • He said his love for me was geniune and she means nothing to him... He kept saying it over and over

    • I'm sure he thinks he does. Unfortunately, thinking something about yourself doesn't always make it true.

What Girls Said 4

  • Sorry doesn't cure STDs, even if in your case not infected but could have been - NOT love

    that said, "cheating" applies only to marriage IMHO because we are all "dating" = shopping for the best match possible if short of ideal match made in heaven UNLESS having sex = same as marriage IMHO... but that's a side car to this discussion and may unintentionally begin a side fight

    Explaining friends, I agree but add that they either didn't care much about you as a person, potential friend or girlfriend or maybe to them HE wasn't worth spitting on, much less get involved with whoever he brought home

    Explaining not good looking as a competitor can be anything from
    super personality she shows not to you or overtly
    to more likely
    loves to have sex, easily taken, lots of fun naked, at least more easy than you have given

    Do to YOU? More akin to taking what's easy fun & dick satisfying, dick worship & draining... oh those hormones!

    Shall we make a list of everyone that doesn't deserve a fire, hurricane, cancer, death, divorce, pain? Maybe we should list all those that suffered only to find a path they otherwise would never seek to a glorious future that insulated them from weak people like this.

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  • Excuses excuses. Real reason he is a first class immature wannabe gangsta screw up. He lost a good thing it's hard to find loyalty these days.

    He should be careful cause word gets around town quickly when you act like that and you end up attracting people just like you, shallow and insecure.

    The only positive you can take away is to be absolutely vigilant and take no prisoners in the future - your time and heart is too precious to waste coiled into someone else's disaster movie.

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    • Thank you so much. I wasted 8 months of my love effort time and energy. I hope i will never go through that ever again

  • He didn't love. Love doesn't hurt and it isn't selfish. He was just using you.

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  • He's hurt you twice. I think you should find someone who values your heart. Not does things he know will break it. You deserve better.

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