Sexual Relationships
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Girlfriend acts iffy about oral sex but doesn't mind having regular sex?

I have a girlfriend that is 5 years older than me im 23 and the sex with her is always good. Me and her are in a long distance relationship for now and both live in 2 different states about 5 to 6 hours away from each other. The 2 times we met up we had a lot of sex however she gets kinda annoyed when it comes to giving me head. She has given me head at least 10 or more times and out of those times she finished me maybe 5 times. She sometimes stops in the middle of doing it and says she is tired of it and that can get very annoying. Like there are times when she says she likes doing it while there's times when she is tired of it. a lot of times when we have phone sex we text each other dirty things but when i ask her what she will do to me she would just be vague and just say something like "have good sex with you" when im actually going into details on what i want to do to her sexually. I usually ask her what she will do to me in hopes that she would say she would give me oral and regular sex and sometimes she tells me that and sometimes she won't. like sometimes she will just say "we will just have sex" a lot of times she won't mention oral unless I brings it up first. The main reason im kinda bummed out about this mainly is because of the fact that she had an ex before me and she was with him for 6 years and gave him nothing but oral sex but no regular sex because he was very abusive and she didn't like the way he treated her so she just gave him oral sex instead of regular sex and i felt like she probably had no problem doing it to him. But unlike him she gave me both sex and oral sex its just when she gave me oral sex she would get tired in the middle of doing it and then stop and complain. She rarely finished me with her mouth only a few times. I offered to eat her out but she doesn't want me to. Not sure what to do
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Most Helpful Girls

  • If oral sex was a big part of her prior abusive relationship it probably brings back bad memories or trauma. It seems to me like she is avoiding the subject altogether, as she may be scared or disgusted by an act she used on someone who mistreated her. See this situation regardless of your own interests, and ask the right questions, to understand why oral makes her so uncomfortable, ask what you can do to help, ask if she wants to talk about how ir makes her feel. Everything will be much better if she can actually enjoy what she is doing, and that comes with good communication ! Hope this helps.

  • Well, let me ask you this. Do you ever give her oral, or you just selfish and one who complains that his girlfriend won't give him oral. Don't ask if you can eat her out, just go down there and start, cause she is not feeling equality here I'm betting despite what she says.

Most Helpful Guys

  • You can't take behaviour in an abusive relationship as an indicator of anything. What she did in her previous relationship could well have been the lesser of two evils which means that she was not fully complicit. Maybe that is also why she has an aversion to oral sex now. You can't make her want to do it, she has to want to do it for herself. If she doesn't then you can only accept that. She doesn't make you perform oral either so there is no unfairness. If you can't live without oral then she's not the girl for you and it's time to move on.

    • she likes doing it she said its just that she complains about it being too much work

    • Well maybe that's genuinely it, that it takes a long time and she just finds it very tiresome. With the best will in the world and the best of intentions it can get irritating if someone takes forever to reach orgasm. Your body is not necessarily equipped to perform like a machine. So perhaps you need to mix things up so that when it gets to oral you are closer to the edge. How about doing oral at the end of sex instead of the beginning? Get yourself closer to the edge with penetration and then finish with oral.

    • She actually did that one time and she got annoyed about that. Even though she was annoyed she still did it. Its like i said some days she is ok with doing it and some days she isn't

  • Not all women are comfortable with giving or receiving oral sex. Just a some men learn to like giving oral sex, some women learn to like it too. But you may have to accept that she will not learn to like giving it and proceed with your relationship from there. Coercing her or whining about it makes you less of a man.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 3

  • Boy … she doesn’t know what she’s missing 😉😊

  • No offense dude but grow up. Don't wreck your relationship cause she won't lick your weinie. If the intercourse is good and you both have a good relationship forget about getting head. Don't pressure her into it.

  • What happened in a previous relationship doesn't count in your relationship. If she doesn't want to continue, why can't you be man and grow up.

  • Some girls give head and even more girls, give ass (very submissive acts) only to the ones they sexually desire the most.

    Could also be that you take forever to get off, or you taste like shit

  • Just talk to her and don't push

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