Ask him about it, but do it in a confident non-accusing manner, and don't assume. Sure it might look as though you found evidence of foul play (i. e. cheating), however it's entirely possible it could be some innocent reason.
For example, when I go to visit my parents or sister for a few days I some times don't pack enough clothes or perhaps they decide to do laundry and offer to throw in any clothes I want cleaned. Than days after I return home, I suddenly have an article of clothing that has me thinking were the heck did this come from.
I never come across a bra or (ahem) panties thankfully, but it's possible something like this might have happened to your boyfriend.
Also when you do ask, as mentioned before stay rational. Even if he hesitates or fumbles with his words, he might not realize it was even there or might be embarrassed.
Now this all assuming he's innocent, but the opposite is entirely possible as well. Remember in America it's "suppose to be" innocent until proven guilty. Just thought I'd add that last part in for the heck of it.
Put it on a table there he gonna se it and wait for reaktion. if no reaction only ask calmly like it is something you two should decide what to do with "I found this where the... in the... . Is it something I should be concerned about since it isn't mine?" then see how he reacts and say.
He might be worried, little stressed about it, maybe comes with funny things because the situation and fear of loosing you because of you believing he have done somthing he haven't done. (verry usual behavior when feelings are involved, people tend to be very narrow minded in those situations)
You will get bad gutt feelings if he is full of shit about the thing.
Don't listen to much about how he should react and say, most people get it wrong when they aren't in the situation them selves when it comes to that.
your own subconscious are a great lie detector.
Ok you should definitely talk to him. The key to working relationships is communication. You don't wanna be hanging on to that dumb mf if he's cheating on you but also don't wanna always worry if he's cheating and he isn't.
In the end. Don't you wanna get rid of him before it gets worse? Before you feel stupid? At least you don't wanna be wasting time. Or you don't wanna be feeling reluctant and dodgy to a innocent guy.
But I feel like he's cheating (sorry to say this). There is no way he bought a bra for you. Just cross that off immediately. Coz it wouldn't be in the laundry. It's bigger than ur bra as well so like nuh uh.
Just wait till he comes home and talk to him calmly. Yes if you find out he cheats u can totally lose ur cool. But not too much. Don't like throw something potentially dangerous at him or something
If he lives alone - whoever put that bra in the wash wanted you to find it. Probably the owner of the bra. So, if he lives alone... tbh you already have your answer on what’s going on.
If he has roommates, either they’re dicks, they had a girl over (but then why was the bra in his laundry), or it still belongs to someone he was fooling around with.
Let’s face it, it could be innocent, but how many people find someone elses bra’s in their SO’s laundry and the SO isn’t cheating?
Ask him, calmly. Bra in hand. But it’s unlikely that he isn’t intimately familiar with the owner.
The calmness isn’t for him, it’s for you. Do not give him the satisfaction of getting upset or any of that. Stay calm, get your stuff, leave and don’t look back.
It’s possible that it just got in with his laundry, if he shares washer and dryer machines with women. However, a bra would be a lot easier to spot in this case than a sock or a pair of underwear. I think this is most likely evidence of cheating. Talk to him first, but you’ll have to try to judge whether or not he’s being honest.
You might be one of the lucky few that has a male interested in exploring his feminine side. Maybe it's his bra. This is a perfect opportunity to enter a new world with an openminded male who isn't afraid of expressing his femininity. You could have the best of both worlds with a boyfriend and a girlfriend all rolled into one.
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You should ask and then leave. Because whatever comes out of his mouth other than 'Yes, I cheated' is a lie.
u Does he have a sister who might have visited him?
Whatever you do, don't text him. If he is cheating (which is most likely), that would give him time to come up with a convincing lie before he got home.
Wait until he gets home, greet him with bra in hand and with the phrase "What's this?". He either has an explanation or he doesn't.
Well let's look at this way. The Bra you found did not grow legs and walk in there all by itself for sure and it seems that Bra was taken off by a woman who has much bigger Tit's than you have so when the Bra was taken off your boyfriend was probably sucking or fucking the set of Tit"S that belong to that Bra and he was having a really good time doing it and the Bra was left behind from another woman.
The only other thing is perhaps your boyfriend has started wearing Bra's and has not told you about as of yet...
Ask in a way that will really put him on the spot. Like by showing it to him and ask him "who's is this, this is not my bra"
When you listen for his answer.
Answers not to accept.
I thought it was yours?
It's a friend of mine she stayed the night but nothing happened?
I got it on a random night out?
It's my mothers?
It's an ex girlfriends it's been here for years!
I don't know!
The last one is much more likely than any of the others especially if you surprise him with the question I'm absolutely guaranteed to be a lie.
The only answer I can see which is reasonable is if his parents use that bedroom as a spare room when he's not there. But how often do you leave your bra behind?
I'm going to dig a bit deeper. You said he tells you about girls that like him? 1. That is a douchey move of an insecure guy that you should shut down (trying to make you jealous) 2. Most guys cheat because on some level they are insecure, and need validation (cheating validates)
See the connection?
Ask him where it came from in a non confrontational manner, it could be nothing.
Keep your bullshit detector on high alert though.
i'd ask him. be prepared to turn on your lie detector. there could be a legitimate reason but it seems like some damning evidence
ask him. if you don't beleove his answer figure it out from there.
but clothes end up in random places. i found random womens clothing mixed among my washing when i was renting a semifurnished place (including the washing machine).
don't assume there isn't a reasonable explanation until you have ruled them out.
Remind me of a story.. Funny story.. Kinda related... A friends wife lost her marbles one day when she found a bra that wasn't hers in her cupboard. She went on an accusatory tyrade phoning all their friends to find out if it was their bra (basically accusing then of cheating on her with the husband)... After a bit of investigation by the rational husband he discovered that the house maid has found it wedged behind the drawers and simply put it back in the "correct" drawer. Turns out it had belonged to a previous owner of the house. Funny thing was... Fast forward about 3 years and he walked in on her with the plumber. A case of thou does protest too much in the first place... Then he knew why..
Well really
Why would a girl come over and not go back home with her bra on
Like what happened to it... did it fly away while they were doing it.. no! It was prolly just laying there on the bed... meaning she would pick it up
But really it was a big size? Like how big? ... lol can you put it over your head?
Ask him about it and get an answer where it came from. He literally has no excuse to be holding onto a bra other than yours (and then even then it's a bit like "why?")
Whatever his intentions behind having that bra, something is not right. In all honesty, I reckon he cheated on you, but I can't say that as fact.
Does your boyfriend live with his mom or other siblings? That the bra could belong to one of them is something to consider.
If no other female presence, there is a tiny chance that he is a closet cross-dresser.
But if none of the above rings true lose your shit because he's cheating.
Before you go off and explode on him, ask him about it first.
It could be a friend of his being and asshole, and planting that bra there to be found. I could be a jealous female friend of his that he is not sexually involved with that planted it, you know the games you women play.
You will know if he is telling the truth or not, by how he responds.
Okay, that's a tricky situation. First things first, do NOT instantly accuse him, that would turn nasty quickly.
Maybe just wait till he's in a good mood and ask him calmly and REMAIN calm throughout the conversation. If he denies cheating, ask why he had it in his room, and if he can't come up with an excuse, just calmly tell him you think he's more than likely cheating. Do not start yelling at him, it'll only make it worse. Good luck! All the best!
It could be a sister's bra, so just ask calmly. Don't accept a garbage answer, or a half answer, as you need to really know if another girl is fucking him. Are there other indicators that something is not right, that he maybe's he's not being honest with you about others things? Your antenna should be up for a while just to be sure.
Once you know who's the owner, wash it , hand it back in public. https://i.imgur.com/qLlEEhv.jpg
Don't make assumptions. He may be fucking someone else, or cross-dressing. Maybe it's his mother's bra that was mixed with his washing.
You don't know til you ask. Ask calmly. If he hesitates to reply, he's either thinking of a lie or the truth is an innocent but embarrassing one.
Ask him. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. Maybe it's one of his family members'. You always have to give him a benefit of the doubt.
That reminds me when my mom found plus sized underwear inside a sleeping bag, and my dad was trying to convince her it was her's.
My dad cheated on my mom. Multiple times. They're still married.
Ask calmly.
Asking angrily will turn him into defensive mode which increases the chance of lying.
Where does he do his laundry? If it's in public - might have been mixed up by accident.
Does he have an ex? Might be left over of the previous relationship.
How about a sister? Mom? Maybe got mixed up in laundry too.
Honestly I wouldn't even ask him. I'd stand by the door with the bra in my hand and a cold look on my face. See what kind of stupid shit will come out of his mouth first without me making his response lean any particular way.
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