What is your opinion on promise rings?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. We are both still in college with him getting his master's and me getting my bachelor's. We both have about 2 years left and then plan on moving to Texas together. I love the idea of a promise ring but I feel as if my boyfriend would be the type to think getting a girl a ring should only happen if they are getting engaged. How do I bring this up without making it seem like he has to get me one because ultimately I want it to be his idea and not mine.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay so... from a guy's perspective, as you've read, most of us think it's super lame. Like on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the "holy shit balls that's lame," i think a solid 9.

    That being said, in a relationship, it's not always about what you want. I got a promise ring for my girlfriend (now wife) just to set her mind at ease. She knew how dumb i thought it was, but i did it anyway because it put her mind at ease... and she finally shut the hell up about it.

    So if all else fails, badger, nag, annoy your way to the top

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    • I can't stand being a nag lol. Like I hear myself say something naggy and apologize immediately because I'm his girlfriend, not his mother lol. And yeah it's lame to guys but like I said in another comment I am the kind of girl who needs reassurance because of my dating past so something like a promise ring would help me feel more secure in our relationship. Also, my boyfriend isn't the greatest at expressing his emotions so it would be nice to just hear how he feels about me.

    • My wife and i are the same: i don't express emotion well and she needs attention and such. She had to sit me down and explain how she felt and why she felt a promise ring would help. I saw it through her eyes and i went out and got her a nice, nothing crazy expensive, promise ring. Maybe try that. Get him to understand your perspective.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I asked my boyfriend how he felt about rings. I made sure he wasn’t uncomfortable with the idea of me giving him one. I let him pick it out, so I could get a matching one. He really loves it. So ask him if that would be an acceptable gift and if it would make him uncomfortable. You can ask what styles and colors he likes and if he likes detailed stuff (my boyfriend has a black tungsten ring with an opal stripe in the middle). It makes it special because it comes from you and you both put time into it

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What Guys Said 26

  • That's tricky. I don't think you can get him to do that and convince him that it was his idea. If you guys are meant to be together long term then you should get engaged towards the end of your time in school and then get married and then move in together. The promise ring is an unnecessary step in my opinion

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  • You keep saying you want people to know you guys are serious, as long as you know you two are serious that's all that matters, as you grow up you find out it's more important for you to buy your own ring if you want to wear one.

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    • I guess I'm just tired of people saying that my relationship must not be that serious if we've been together for a year and a half and haven't gotten engaged. Like I just want people to shut up and realize we are serious and probably have a stronger relationship than most people.

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    • Thanks, it just seems like so many people my age are getting engaged or married and my boyfriend and I get criticized because we both have full time jobs and go to school but we live with our parents still because it's financially our best option but people think we should be engaged and living together since we are both in our 20s but we both want to be financially atable and out of school before living together or getting engaged.

    • Yeah just go at your own pace, I'm 26 and single , there's no rush for all that, and again you're looking and comparing to others your age when you just gotta focus on school, and yourself. Everything else will fall in place later when you 2 move to Texas together, if you ever need to talk or advice just message me ☺️

  • Promise rings are little kid stuff. If its serious it should be an engagement ring. What, you want a ring to say "I promise that I'll promise to marry you one day", for real?

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    • No. I want a promise ring to say this is leading somewhere but since we are both in a place in our lives where it doesn't make sense to get engaged and married, let me make this promise to you that that is where this is leading. Because ultimately, we probably wouldn't get engaged and married for at least 3 years. Women like reassurance that they are important to you and that you want to spend your life with them.

    • Engagements can be long term. I was engaged to my fiancee for quite a few years - 3, actually - before we were both really ready to marry. Its not shameful to be engaged a long time, I think.

      Sorry if I sounded dismissive, but I really don't see any point to a promise ring instead of an engagement ring unless you're a teenager who can't afford to splurge more than a hundred bucks on someone you're not 100% sure about.

      Maybe there's something I'm not seeing though. You mentioned you're both still students, so money could be too tight for an engagement ring. But that's probably more a problem with what you expect an engagement ring to look like than engagement itself - it only has to be a big old diamond if you both want that, you know?

    • I agree, it is mostly money because we both want to be able to buy a house when we graduate and my boyfriend has expressed he wants to be able to buy me a nice ring and not be worried about how much it costs. Also, I think because he has been engaged before because of a manipulative ex making an ultimatum that if he didn't propose she would walk away from him, he is a little hesitant to make the giant leap of getting engaged. That was when he was 20 so only 3 years ago. It was a pretty toxic relationship apparently so I will never pressure him to propose but I think a promise ring would be nice because I am the type of girl who needs a lot of reassurance because of my dating past. I guess it is silly to some people though.

  • my girlfriend and i got one and we're in our junior year of our bachelors degree, also we been together for four years and counting still

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  • But it's already your idea and not his. Don't play these games. He won't appreciate being manipulated.

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    • I'm not trying to be manipulative, I just don't want him to feel as if I forced him to get me one

    • Then don't force him to get you one. Simple.
      Also, they don't really matter. If he's unfaithful, even a wedding ring won't stop him.

    • I'm not forcing him, just trying to hint it would be something I would like. He's not unfaithful at all. That's more so why I want one. I'm proud to be his girlfriend and I want the world to know that.

  • Well phrase it as though its not engagement rings and as such it can be a less expensive semi high value ring so like silver or another nice looking metal.

    And it could be something to show for being together.

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    • I think that's ultimately why I want one. Like I'm proud to be his girlfriend and want people to know our relationship is serious but neither one of us are ready for being engaged or married. And I don't expect anything fancy, which he knows.

    • Its alright to get engaged just make it clear marriage isn't something you are ready for. Engagement just is another word for commitment at the end of the day.

  • A promise ring is a sign of commitment between two people. Often, it is the first token of a serious relationship that is just developing, but exchanging promise rings can equally be a symbol of a joint commitment which is not related to love. A promise ring can mean many things.

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  • l gave a girl a ring many years ago and she told every one that we were engaged wich was not true talk to your boyfriend about this matter as you have both been together for over a year and l bet that he will go along with what you say and he will buy you a promise ring

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    • I would never say we were engaged if we weren't! I don't understand why people blatantly lie about things like that

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    • I feel like that's why most men are so reluctant to give a girl a ring as a present. I knew a girl in high school who told people her and her boyfriend were engaged but this quickly got back to the boyfriend and he broke up with her promptly. Personally I love jewelry as a gift because it lasts forever and is something I can proudly wear every day but other girls have to ruin it for the rest of us by acting crazy lol

    • thats what l done broke up as she could not wait l have nothing against the girl well a woman now she has one kid but no husband all she had to do was wait but she could not do that l think in my mind that you are a bit more mature in you mind than some of the other girls that you know it is a lot of presure for a young guy to have on his mind when he thinks that he is been pushed into marrige he needs to finish uni first and find a job he is with you as he is intrested in you with or without any ring just take things slow and then one day he will give you the real ring take my word for it

  • It's just a ring. Feelings are what matter most. It's nice to have a little reminder of the bond you share (the ring) but it's not good to dwell on its significance.

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  • I've given a promise ring and a wedding ring to the same person. We are divorced now a marriage is just a piece of paper. If you and your partner are solid you won't need trinkets to keep the faith in your each other.

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  • We guys don't get hints very well.. You should maybe just tell him you think it's cute and maybe he can get you one..

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  • I think they are stupid. We are engaged to be engaged. Just seems pointless.

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  • The moment you let materialistic things get in between, things will start to crumble.
    Just avoid it

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  • I think they are even more superficial than wedding rings.

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  • A promise ring? Is that like a wedding ring only you don't have a wedding? That sounds pretty dumb.

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  • That's a ring a guy gives girls because they want to sleep with them. LMAO those rings mean nothing

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  • Promise rings are often to keep stringing a girl along

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  • Sounds good. doesn't work

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  • Stupidity. Why waste money on a ring?

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  • Good for the relationship

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What Girls Said 15

  • If you want it to be his idea then you let him do it. I don't think you could bring it up in some way to him and not have it be your idea.

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  • A promise ring is meaningless if that person have no intention of saving themselves for marriage and actually get married without having premarital sex. It's sweet and all. But if you can't keep your commitments then it's nothing more than a piece of jewlery because it's suppose to represent YOU. Let alone the kind of promise you want to have as an oath. People should keep and honor their commitments and promises and don't make them if your going to break them.

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  • I always wanted one after listening to that song from Tiffany Evans and Ciara - promise ring. I was like 10 or 11 and singing to that song lmao

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  • He probably can't know the things you're thinking about right now, so you should just talk to him about this, like "I think it would be cute..." or something.
    Anyway, he could be reluctant since rings generally come with engagement. Good luck.

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  • Promise rings usually lead to problems and break ups.. just don't

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  • Sorry, but I kinda think it’s stupid. But I’m sure it’ll look pretty if he gets you one

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  • Maybe you could say how much you like them and suggest that you each get one for each other?

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  • A promise ring is a sentimental gift that can be given to your young girlfriend or boyfriend before an engagement.

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  • I prefer commitment rings to promise rings. They're kinda the same but doesn't come with the promise of anything.

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  • I think it's childish

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  • Promises are made to be broken

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  • Promise rings are for children.

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  • It's silly and pointless.

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  • They are cute and romantic

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  • No use whatsoever

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