I've noticed in my personal experience that it's always the guy who has to make all the arrangements for V-Day, and this was not just one woman, this has been a number of women.
Try to get a girl to do so, and most will tell me "V-Day is for women", "guys are supposed to woo women on this day", girls are supposed to be spoiled this day" etc.
I say it's for couples, and both should be making an effort.
What do you think?
It's for women and men should be making all the arrangements.
Vote A
It's for couples, and both should make the arrangements, either together, or alternating.
Vote B
Other (please explain)
Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
GirlGuyPlease select your age
Updates:
+1 y
Wow, I'm totally blown away by how many responses this has gotten. Never did I think a question of mine would make the front page of GaG!
Going to be difficult to choose MHOs for this one!
Thank you so much everyone for your input, I like that most people are leaning towards B, but those choosing other options have made some really good points too.
How many of you believe Valentine's Day is for women?
66
93
Add Opinion
Most Helpful Girls
dipta | 349 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
In my home country, Valentine's day is for couples. Many people confess their love on the date not to break tradition - both men and women. Although I guess there's the image of a man offering chocolates and flowers (men are usually the pursuers), all couples I know celebrate together. It's definitely not for girls only.
I think older and married couples don't celebrate anymore... This is actually the first year I'm married, but here in Japan Valentine's day is for men, boys and friends in general (I guess Japanese men love sweet stuff) so maybe I'm not off the hook yet... hmm.
Therefore, from my perspective, if someone told me "Valentine's day is for girls", I would think they reek of entitlement and a bit of selfishness, lol. That pattern will follow all the way to the wedding day and who knows afterward.
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Is this still revelant?
Astoriana | 741 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
No.
Valentine's Day is for capitalism.
St. Valentine's Day was just like every other minor Christian feast day, until some bean counter noticed that sales plummeted after Christmas (due to overspending FOR Christmas). "Oh, hmm... how can we make more money? I know, let's guilt people into buying overpriced cards, flowers, chocolates etc. on this one particular day to show their love and affection for their partners! And if they don't make a big deal out of it, it means that they don't love their partners! Got 'em by the balls, now, boys!"
HOAAH | 1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
I use to think Valentines day means that husband should make me feel "loved" but I realized that valentines day is for me to feel loved and give thanks for all the people who makes me feel loved, especially my family and God. I bought 3 bags of chocolate and we are all going to just share it until Valentines... plus a secret friend bought me beautiful potted pink tulips... and she's not even my lover! hahaha so valentines can be for friends to show each other they are thankful for each of them in their lives.
OMG I wrote this answer a year ago... rereading it now makes me try to remember how my valentines was...
Bliss-taylor | 245 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Xper 7
+1 y
My husband and I dont do much. He gets me a box of chocolates and a flower. I give him a full body massage and a little something extra. We do this often without valentines day. My candy is just in a heart shaped box. My daughter however dresses up and goes out to dinner with her daddy. She gets a valentines card and usually a stuffed animal bigger than her with some kind of candy.
:) I realized i didn't answer your question directly so I commented it.
Most Helpful Guys
kholland65 | 165 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Yoda
+1 y
Let me first say that I don't really like your answer choices. It's both A and B.
Valentines day is really something that is generally more appealing to women. I think most guys could take it over leave it and don't really feel the need to have a holiday or why it's necessary to buy flowers and gifts to prove to each other that we love one another.
That being said, I also think that like all things in a relationship, the work and commitment needs to be equal between both parties. I think we've already created a toxic enough dating culture here in the united states where female happiness comes before that of the mans by default. We don't need to reinforce that mindset with the idea that valentines days is where it becomes mandatory for men to pamper women, without any sort of reciprocity.
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Is this still revelant?
Asker
+1 y
Well, that's why I put the option of C - other.
But wow, I really, REALLY like your views and insight on this, very well put.
"But wow, I really, REALLY like your views and insight on this, very well put."
Eye opening isn't it? Yes, very well put.
Jaximus-Lion | 203 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Yoda
+1 y
Me and the wife do share the taking charge thing. First 2 years it was me and all me and it was for fun, no sex no lingerie, no too much of red colors, just some nice dinner and some nice red wine and go to sleep because we were tired. The year after we helped each other and bought things for each other, after that i t was me, then she wanted to do something special and now i take the uneven years and she takes even years, so this year is the wife's year, am sure there will be champagne because i like it a lot, red wine too in case the champagne is not enough (which it's never enough) :P
It’s for couples. I don’t know anyone who only made the guy do something outside of high schoolers.
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Blonde401 | 747 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
I’ve never benefited from Valentine’s Day. (I’ve even been stood up on Valentine’s Day in my life). I think it’s tacky and commercialised but who doesn’t want a little romance sometimes? I think it’s important to make someone feel loved everyday but it’s for both men and women. There are non straight couples that celebrate Valentine’s Day too you know? But yeah I think everyone should make the effort, regardless of gender. I think women seem to be more vocal about what they want and like to show off more than men and maybe that’s the cause of the apparent imbalance?
your last thought is definitely food for thought. I will like to say (and mind you this is coming from a guys perspective and at that just one persons perspective) that it is certainly commercialized towards women. Buy her this, buy her that sort of deal. Not saying thats the cause but it certainly doesn't help things you know?
@KenM9215 it is commercialised towards women but I think again that’s because men are seen as not being into all that soppy shit you know? Men need to take more of a stance on it. I know plenty of gay men that like to be romantic though.
Thats totally fair. it's kind of ironic for me because I am a hopeless romantic, I'll do random romantic or lovey stuff for my girlfriend (I have for my gfs in the past) all the time. I will "do" valentines day but personally I don't feel like i need a day in order to be romantic or lovey to my girlfriend. That doesn't mean that I don't feel the "valentine day pressure" so to speak.
@KenM9215 I understand. I’ve literally always been single on valentines or I’ve not been and just been stood up... so I’ve never had anyone take me out or do anything for me for V day. I’d be willing to do stuff for someone else but never had the opportunity so *shrugs*.
Eh there are women (and men) who are in relationships and still don't benefit from it. Hey think of it this way, sure you could be in a loving relationship but you also aren't in a crappy one either lol.
@KenM9215 true. I’ve only had crappy ones, that’s why I’m still single but oh well! Not everyone can have a good relationship or a good valentine’s day. But if I were you let a woman know you wanna experience it too.
Robsinsf53 | 480 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Yoda
+1 y
It's become commercialized and I don't need no fictitious holiday to tell me to go buy some chocolates and flowers for my woman. Tip for you guys out there... my ex wife works from behind a desk. She taught me that there's no Valentine day but, instead a Valentine week I would order my roses this Monday & deliver them on the following Monday. Not only save money with the purchase & delivery charge but, you will surprise the heck out of her. Put in the card... there are no Valentine day but, instead Valentine weeks. If she's like my ex wife she'll place them prominently on her desk while the other women sit back and wait for the 14th of February,
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Zelea | 57 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Xper 6
+1 y
It depends on the couple. Stereotypically its for the girls. I'm fine with just spending time together as a couple, doing whatever we agree upon.
Lol I remember when I had my 1st boyfriend in high school and I was stressing over what to get him for Valentines day. My mom looked at me like I was crazy and said valentines day is for girls you're not supposed to get him anything and my step dad agreed. I would have felt weird getting a gift and not giving one. Anyway long story short I ended feeling stupid because he didn't get me anything.
2nd boyfriend didn't get me anything either. Even though it was his idea to exchange gifts.
My last boyfriend looked at me like I was crazy when I asked him what he wanted for valentines day. He felt valentines day was for girls.
Its for WOMEN! Women will say its for both, but we all know its the guy who has to take the effort. We have to walk the tightrope. Sure the woman can get a gift or whatever, but men are easily satisfied. Just get him a wallet or something and good sex, he is over the moon. But he has to not only do everything, everything HAS to be perfect - the restaurant, reservation, food, drinks, waiter's attention, movie must be the perfect one, the seats need to be perfect... it goes on n on. If anything goes wrong, its the guy's fault. And dont even get me started about the gift. Its has to be thoughtful, expensive (yes, women will say we dont care about the cost, but YES you do!), be given at the right time, the card must have the right words.. Phew! Its tiring! And all this will probably fall on a busy & horrible day at work.
It's so clearly for women. Women all spend the 15th bragging about what their man did for them like it's a female dick measuring contest. I've ever heard of a guy giving his girlfriend the cold shoulder because "all he got was flowers and chocolates", but I've definitely heard the reverse. I don't know how women can honestly claim its about both parties.
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Asker
+1 y
"a female dick measuring contest" lol, beautifully stated!
dragonfly6516 | 792 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
It's a commercialized holiday for nothing more than marketing. Because this day was originally a pagan festival celebrated with wild orgies, animal sacrifices, blessing with blood, and literally raffling off virginity... until the Catholic church turned it into a celebration for a martyr named St Valentine.
Dragonfly6516 is fully correct. If a couple wants to buy into it i would suggest making it a couples day planned by both. Why one or two days a year. Make it a weekly event to celebrate yourselves.
' a pagan festival celebrated with wild orgies, animal sacrifices, blessing with blood, and literally raffling off virginity' So what you are saying was that it used to be way more fun
It's for coorporations :/ . The whole men paying for everything thing is a hangover from when women weren't allowed to own property, including money. But the fat cats cashing in from all the flowers and chocolates and fancy meals etc. are the ones who stand to gain the most regardless of who's spending the money.
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Anonymous
+1 y
I don't know if I'm just weird or something but I personally don't really care for Valentine's day, I try to avoid it the best I can. But the guys I've dated have wanted to celebrate it and make it a huge deal and be all romantic, make huge plans together and what not, I found it very uncomfortable. I never wanted any of that stuff but they insisted on it even though they knew I don't like Valentines day. So in my experience it has been either for the guys or us as a couple, even though I really didn't want it. 🤔😅
Valentine's day is for corporations not ant particular gender. You know invent a day to make people buy gifts and spend money. Right now I'm sure some corporation think tank is trying to think of new days and holidays to part people from their money. You know like black Friday.
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godfatherfan | 627 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
Not only is it just for women, but it is the biggest bullshit holiday there is. It is a hallmark holiday they have built up to rip off a lot of people Flowers that cost $10 2 weeks before V day are all of a sudden $110? And guys still buy them? that is nonsense. At least my ex wife was intelligent enough to tell me if I wanted her to keep speaking to me, I had better never buy her flowers ever, much less on V day. Sorry, I have never, nor will I ever celebrate that bullshit "holiday"...
It should be about showing your love or affection for someone - doesn't even have to be romantic love. You can buy Valentine's Day cards for your mum or gran in our local card shop (though sadly not for Dad or Gramps, clearly they're not worthy...).
It does smack a bit of entitlement though, these days... Some of the ladies in the office compare how many cards they get... but when asked how many they sent, the response is often "oh no I don't do Valentine's Day cards ".
Though to be fair, outdoing eachother on presents received has all but gone (mainly because us blokes are broke most od the time i guess). I used to love a good bitchwar... "I got this necklace!"... "that's lovely; but I got this ring..." and "Ha. trinkets. I've got a trip to Australia and he might propose to me on Ularu". I'd say thats great but then ask what they bought for their fellas... then run for cover. .
I'm actually teaching myself how to make his favorite cheesecake and we're planning on making dinner together. I don't believe one person should put forth all the effort. If it's about affection, as people claim it is, both sides should do something nice.
And we do, but as with birthdays and holidays, it's just another excuse to maybe do something a little extra special for each other that we wouldn't do on any other given day
fallen_wings | 81 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Xper 7
+1 y
I think movies and such have taught us that it is for women. Actually it is for couples celebrating their love :) and it's sad how a lot of guys don't get anything from their girls
In my opinion a good amount of guys take this opportunity to either be nice for a change to their significant other when they are douches most of the year, looking to get laid or are genuinely caring and want to show this day more than any other how much they appreciate the other.
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Cammy137 | 993 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
Its about spending money more than anything. Valentines Day is just a commercial holiday that should be buried deep in the past. The fact that we need a day where couples are essentially guilted into doing special things to show their love is ridiculous. Just do stuff like that all year round instead of the one night when everyone else is doing it. I find Valentines Day to be actively unromantic because it's forced, its not spontaneous and ita not unique to you and your partner.
I used to be single shamed all throughout high school. The only one who couldn’t go to school dances, even prom and hoco because I was never asked and nobody wanted me. Nobody ever gave me a card or candy gram like they had st the school. I had a breakdown on V-Day two years ago because I had to be at a competition and the winner had her boyfriend surprise her w/ flowers and I knew that would never happen to me. Now that I’m in college (mostly online) I can stay home and cry the whole day, avoiding the happy people in relationships while I watch “Fatal Attraction” Or slasher films
So I'm going to tell you woman the truth about Valentine's day. Its for both but for different reasons. Guys see it as a way to compete with other guys. Its all about what they can do for their girls, so that they can brag and compare with their guy friends. That's the truth. Yes they still do it for you girls too, but they spoil you so they can compete. And any guy who denies it is either lying or hasn't taken a longer look.
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rjroy3 | 1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
Depends on how you look at it I suppose. It's for couples, but as time goes by in general. It becomes common for most holidays to be men spending money on women. But the nature of Valentine's day is a couples thing. But then there's Desperation Day
A lot of women feel that way about romance in general. It's always his responsibility to make her feel special every moment of every day, and more so on special occasions. Meanwhile she just shows up and does nothing; barely mutters a 'thank you' for his efforts. Of course it shouldn't be this way. Every relationship should be give and take. There are exceptional women out there, but so few and so far between I've abandoned all hope. Happy Valentine's Day!
it seems like it's for women more than men, but isn't that just society in general? V day is for couples but this exists within a paradigm where more is expected of the man. Regardless of whether men live up to those expectations or not, this is how it is in our culture right now
I agree there. Women are the one that care the most about Valentine's day. It's the day for most of them to keep an eye on their men and if yes or not they dared to forget about it!! Whereas the "normal" people will know they don't need to wait for that day to prove their love to their so, that their relationship does not not depend on a douzen of roses bought that day (I'm not even gonna get into the expensive gifts that are absolutely disgusting to me , as if they need that to stay)
If the relationship is young I personally like to out the effort into making arrangements and buying gifts. If it's all one sided with the gift buying I'd wonder why. But once a relationship is mature I think it should be bother ways.
Personally I surprise my partner every now and again, books, wine, chocolate, flowers etc. So don't feel like I should make a big deal all the time. Also I make a big deal at Birthday and Christmas.
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Anonymous
+1 y
Valentines day is a made up holiday for companies to make money. The use "love" and "romance" as their marketing tool. Nothing more and nothing less than that. Because of this I've never celebrated valentines day and have always found myself with women who felt the same way.
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Anonymous
+1 y
Lol, all the guys who say "its only for women" obviously don't get sex from their girlfriends or don't have girlfriends. Honestly, I could care less about Valentine's Day because if commercialized AF. If you truly love someone, you show your love for them each and every day.
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Anonymous
+1 y
Valentine’s Day is for couples – not just men, not just women. Arrangements should be made together or you can treat your partner to something different, treat them just as they would treat you. I honestly think you should do things for your partner on days besides Valentine’s Day, but this is just a day where it’s expected.
AynonOMouse | 2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Master
+1 y
The anniversary is for both whether it is BF/GF, or married. Valentine's day can be for women once it gets to the point of them preparing a Thanksgiving dinner for her man, because Thanksgiving's Day is for men to sit around watching football all day, eat a good meal, then relax and sleep.
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Anonymous
+1 y
I was only two years not single on Valentine's day because i have ever had only one boyfriend in my life. we didn't celebrate it because i don't know what Valentine's day is or what its importance is. i dont know why he didn't make me surprises or celebrate it. so i dont know if it is for women. it was not for me.
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GingerGuy | 1.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Master
+1 y
Both should make the effort I agree. But the day itself means more to women I think as they are much more into romance etc than guys generally are. Most guys could take it or leave it. Not to say we don't enjoy it also, but not like women do.
Well for me, I've never really celebrated as the sense it should have been. I'm single since birth. Though I remember a girl around 18-19 gave me a pen set on Valentine's day when I was just 5 or 6. I was damn happy lol! But what I do on that day is get a deodrant for my dad and chocolates for my mom haha. I don't have a girlfriend but I have many people whom I love so yeah I might sound like a dumb boy of 16 but that's what I do😊
It's for women. If you don't believe me try missing it one year. Guys honestly won't care because it won't cost them anything and it's not like they get anything on it anyway. Girls however will remember that you forgot about it forever and will pick up a fuss about it. Since it is as you said a day for them to feel special and to be given gifts and pampered.
Just another example of how men get the short end of the stick in terms of modern dating.
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maiave | 58 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Xper 7
+1 y
I’ve never done anything on Valentines Day. It’s just a made up day to make people buy stuff. It’s stupid
It originated as a feast in the Catholic church in honor of the martyrs named Saint Valentine. But of course... consumerism and atheism made it become a superficial holiday.
I'd always cook dinner for my lady or take her out to dinner. You young lady should be taken out to dinner at the very least.
CHARismatic110 | 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Master
+1 y
Valentine's Day is more Hallmark holiday propaganda. That said, I know plenty of girls who make plans and go all out on that day. On fact, I feel like girls are just as big into planning for Vday as guys.
I’m a woman and I don’t celebrate it because I’ve never had a boyfriend so there’s no use. It’s pointless. I stay in my room all day crying and hating myself and I don’t even go on social media. I can’t stand happy couples.
The reason why I hate people that are happy in relationships and have somebody who love them is JEALOUSY! The reason why I’m angry and envious is because I have nobody. I want someone to do sweet things for me even if I’d feel guilty if they wasted their money on me but I want to be cared about. That’s why I feel pain looking at people who are enjoying their life and are in love
That's obvious. But you need to change your attitude, or people will get the impression that you're not a happy person, and no one wants to date a downer.
It's not about doing cute things. I just don't think there should be a specific day to appreciate your SO. This should be done on a daily basis. I think yearly anniversaries are way more important and meaningful than some stupid red Valentine's cheesy teddy bears day.
Nd couples mostly fight on Valentine's cuz the girlfriend gets pissed at the boyfriend for not pampering her that day. He can literally appreciate her all year long but if he doesn't bring her a perfume in a red box on that specific day its immediately translated to him not appreciating or loving her.. and I've seen this happen a lot
bang678 | 386 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
Valentine's day is about telling those important to you that you love then. Valentines day is more than romantic love. I love my friends, I love my family.
Holidays are what you make them be for you. They are not for anything. If you like romantic things make valentines day a great day for you. Don't do it for someone else.
It should be done every day and not just on this one day. I agree, both should make arrangements to woo their partner. It is the day of love and it needs to be shown by both
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DeeDeeDeVour | 614 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Guru
+1 y
V-Day is not for women only. It's for lovers of all kinds. I, particularly, prepare an awesome lunch or dinner for my man. V-Day doesn't have to be a big thing and doesn't need to have so much fuss.
If both in the relationship want to celebrate Valentine's Day, then both can contribute to planning and paying for each other. Or as you said, alternate.
@ThatBoiEx I can just state an opinion based on how I feel. I honestly don't know what someone else thinks or wants to do. If I was in a relationship, I'd want to be fair and both of us to contribute.
lumos | 1.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Master
+1 y
Valentine's day is for companies who sell shit like greeting cards, teddy bears and chocolates.
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MlleCake | 1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Master
+1 y
It's for couples, yes, but each couple should decide how THEY like to handle it.
Me and my boyfriend always just spend it at home in bed with movies. Both get each other a gift and card and just enjoy the day together.
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ObliviousJester | 61 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Xper 5
+1 y
It's mainly a thing for females. But also for greeting card manufacturers and jewelry stores that didn't sell all their excess stock over the Christmas period
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kaylaS91 | 2.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Master
+1 y
really? You mean I should return the burlesque tickets I bought for my boyfriend and I, in addition to cancelling plans for him to come to my place on Valentine's day to enjoy some dinner cooked by me?
That's because men are more sexually attracted to women than women are to men
readywriter | 167 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Xper 6
+1 y
It is all about women. You must spend money on women to tell them what they already know. Some girls feel misused if the dinner or gift isn't big. Guys get nothing except the bill. Better to save the money on something you can enjoy often.
The gifts most commonly offered for Valentine's day tend to look rather feminine, so it is certainly marketed that way. Hence the creation of Steak and a BJ Day on March 14th!
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genericname85 | 3.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Master
+1 y
it's what you make it to be about. if you wanna pamper some girl, great. if you wanna have a great date with a potential partner on eye level, then who's there that tells you that's wrong? have it your way dude...
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kitty71 | 214 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Yoda
+1 y
Valentines Day could be any day of the year with your SO why it has to be celebrated in one particular day. You are with your SO almost everyday and you can celebrate it any other day and it is not big deal.
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Anonymous
+1 y
I believe it's mostly for stores, so they can sell more stuff to people.
Past Valentine days that when my ex-was working on valentine. now it on a Wednesday that my current boyfriend going to workplaces meant on valentine day. Never get spend time when I want to.
Also I want to add is that the man is required to buy the woman something new every year but all he gets is the same thing every year. Should he get something new like another woman?
KnightCross | 116 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Xper 7
+1 y
i voted B but surely you have only lived at a Western Country before
"I've noticed in my personal experience that it's always the guy who has to make all the arrangements for V-Day" >> that does not happen in some other countries in Far East Asia
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