No it was being apart for awhile because of cheating. Really complicated, but involves children and was married.
That's a massive difference then man. Fuck, that's a big issue. I mean, for the sake of the kids and the marriage is where the forgiveness part is much more complicated. Cheating in a marriage is 110% worse than cheating some dating. If you're still married this is where the issue comes in. The last thing either of you want is for the kids to have to go through this shit too. This is deffinalty a hard core topic to deal with alone.
Personally, for your kids alone if anything i would try to salvage what i can of the relationship. It's going to feel like hell for sure. It could work though, it's not going to be easy though i think it would be worth at least a try. It sounds outrageous to say yet alone hear i would imagine, though i would suggest trying to see if there was something in the relationship that was off or what the reason for her cheating was. If she cheated she better have a damn good reason otherwise it's that much harder to try and forgive her and keep things together.
Yup, pretty serious... been seperated 14 months, legally still married, have court child custody in order, own separate lives now and I have forgiven her for my own sanity and never expected her wanting me back... mind you cheating is a huge disrespect and a no in my world, but tried a relationship and it failed and ended uo going back to her for the sex a couple times and we co-parent good. So before the kids start seeing us together I was just curious on opinions.. Apparently she went through a lot of changes blah blah...
14 months is a good deal of time to think about what she did. Is she regretting it at all? I mean, considering how things went i think it might be doable. It depends on if you're willing to try and make it work yourself and if she's in the same boat.
Thats the thing... she had an 8 month relationship with a guy during that time...
Damn, is she in on the "getting back together" idea or is this your own thought track? I mean, having that other guy on your mind is now an issue too. Damn, this is just a shitty situation. I don't think you'll ever know if you don't try though. The worst that could happen is it doesn't work out though. I think it's worth a try, given the situation i think it's better to try rather than not try and regret it later. If i were in your shoes i would try if not for the thought of having a second "dad" now in on your own kids lifes because of a choice she made. That would drive me nuts.
Thanks for not judging.. nah I had a couple girls during this time and that doesn't overly bug me cause the kids actually like me more then her and I have them half time. And it was all her idea to have me back and took a lot of convincing me to even give a shit to talk to her. Now that I am sleeping with her couple times a week, I am just having huge trust issues and dont want to mess with the kids heads.
No judgement here man, i grew up in a pretty fucked up household and had my own issues with parents. I know how bad these things can get and how it affects kids. I think the kids would be a it confused at first if their younger though i don't think it would take long for them to get used to the idea that "daddy was just away for a bit". There will obviously be explaining to do when they get older though. So the trust issues are more than warranted though and if she wants this to work then she's going to have to accept that they're there and for good reason. She most deffinatly has to work her ass off to earn your trust back. Honestly she isn't going to have your full trust i can't imagine nor should she really expect it. It comes down to your own decision now of if you're willing to take a leap of faith with this. If you think you want this then make it happen right away. It's easier to try and ignore something or change your mind with the more time you think about it.
Appreciate the advice!
Any day man! Well wishes with this, i hope it all goes well for you!
This was my first thought lol. Except we have 2 young children together and they would get their hopes up dad and mom got back together and leave again...
That's a little to adult for me I've herd people with kids say this "if I were ever in need of any major life advice I would only go to someone who has had kids" It's a whole new world I still got another 5 years of sex and blow before I have to venture into that relm good luck
That's just it, how do you know if someone changed or not? We have 2 kids together and legally still married.
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