How do you get your ex back? A man who is hard to read because he keeps his emotions to himself, as it seems?

-Dating 8 months, would have been 9 at the end of may.
-He's different than any man I've been with in a good/bad way.
-I broke up with him. But he was happy to be out.
-Let me go emotionally months ago.
-I grieved & still grieving. He seems to be unbothered.
-He's given me the impression he's very incontrol of his emotions. In perhaps hiding them. "I just don't let myself get overcome with emotion." "I worry about everyone around me I just don't show them that."
-My emotions are generally out of control. I always act & speak on my emotions. Good or bad.
-He's 25 & I'm 21
-I see more fault in myself than in him.
-My insecurity of being cheated on & lack of trust pushed him away (he has many single female friends who I believe "liked" him)
-The times he did tell me the bad feelings he had about my insecurity I didn't take nicely.
-He has dissociation & ptsd (not sure on all the details)
-If I only put my full trust in him and worked on my insecurity & confidence I would still have him.
-I accept this is on me mostly. That's why I can't get over him.
-He never got jealous & or expected anymore or any less of me.
-He told me he still cared for me as a friend & said if I need anything he'd be there.
-Day by day, I'm thinking I let go of a wonderful thing that I'll never get back.
-I miss him so much. I've asked/suggested right after the break up if there was still a chance & he avoided an answer or when I got mad & said it was a dead he'd agree.
-Became very indirect with the answer he'd give me for a long time. But perhaps it's because I never acted on the things he told me that pushed him away.
-He's basically said there's no point in talking about the problem anymore. It has to come from experience.
-As I have more realizations. Im trying to play the friend role to show him. Not tell him I'm growing more mature.
-He losts faith in me a long time ago. Which hurts the most.
-He always said a relationship is about growing together. Not depending on each other.
How do you get your ex back? A man who is hard to read because he keeps his emotions to himself, as it seems?
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