I'm a guy in my 20s and I've had a foreign girlfriend for 1 and half years. Our relationship started online, she lived half-way across the world and we visited each other sometimes. About 5 months ago, she moved to my country and moved in with me. She fell in love with me first, before I did, but this is my first serious relationship and I've never been in love before.
The worst part is that I have a gaming addiction I am battling. Because of this, I've neglected her emotionally. I've hated this addiction for a while and have been trying to quit. I've finally started to change so I can be with her and treat her like she deserves to be treated. It took me a while, but I realized she's the most important thing for me and that I love her. But very soon after I started changing, she admitted that she is planning on moving out in a month and going to live with her friends and that she is fed up with how I've treated her. She says she doesn't love me anymore. I hate myself for how I've treated her. I know I deserve this pain and asking for more is selfish.
She said nothing is stopping me from trying to get her back, but she doesn't think it's going to work. This gave me hope because she is at least open to my attempts to win her back and to change, but every time I ask her to do something with me or try to show some kindness, she rejects it. She prefers chatting with friends or relaxing after work.
She used to say some of the happiest moments in her life were with me, such as when she visited me for the first time in my country, so I still have a bit of hope that she might still have some feelings for me that I can reignite. So I've decided that I am going to be the best version of myself for the remaining month before she moves out and if she is still determined to break up, I will let her go to find her own happiness.
Is there anything I can try to at least get her to do things with me, so we have a chance to interact and to fall in love again? Any advice?
I forgot to mention that she works 6 days of the week at the moment. She has virtually no time to go out because she prefers to rest at home after work and when she has time (weekends), she prefers to hang out with her friends.
Most Helpful Girl
She loved you even when you guys weren’t close, got close, then you neglected her. Women will hold on until we can’t any longer. And you probably made her feel as if she was 2nd priority. It’s no good feeling but when we are done , we are done! That doesn’t mean you can’t try to save your relationship. You guys need to start fresh. Let her move out , it could strengthen the bond you both have with one another. And friends only help but for so long. Be patient and give her the space she needs1
Most Helpful Guy
She moved half way across the world for you. So that tells you everything you need to know about how much she loves you. The thing with women is they don't believe the changes you are making are permanent. She is emotionally hurt and she's probably reached her breaking point. Your best chance is to do as you said. Become the best version of yourself possible. Sell your video game systems to show her that you are serious. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint. Hopefully over time she will realize that the changes you are making are permanent. You have to keep yourself emotionally grounded in the meantime and not do anything that could further damage your chances. Don't blame her, don't smother her. Don't beg her. You are feeling desperate and it's hard not to do these things. But it is imperative that you don't. It will only push her further away. Best of luck to you man!1
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