How do I get my boyfriend to stop talking to my ex?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 months, and he’s friends with my ex-boyfriend. I don’t like that. My ex and I have had numerous problems in the past that he knows about. One time he even told me I was the worst mistake of his life and disrespected me in front of me and my boyfriend’s face for no reason. Of course, I addressed this to my boyfriend and told him plenty of times I don’t like them talking. He said the two of them are not even friends, and only associates but he still allows him to mess with him and pisses me off. Another thing is that another time my boyfriend and I were having an issue and decided to vent to him about it, as if my ex is to be trusted. I can’t do it anymore, so how do I make it stop?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess u might need a different approach from what you've used already if you've already brought this to his attention. Use other means to get through to him.

    If you've been giving him numerous small complaints, u might need to give him an ultimatum. Otherwise, maybe a crocodile tear or two would do the trick?

    I guess you could also try to find out what he'd get really pissed about. You know, if you do, and your ex has already done it, try stressing on that more.
    Hope this was helpful. Let me know how it turns out? 😊

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Most Helpful Girl

  • honestly it sounds like your ex is jealous that you moved on and is now dating his friend, cause for him to disrespect you like that for no reason doesn't make any sense.

    It's possible that your ex may try to make you look bad to your boyfriend cause he doesn't want you to be happy. Basically he doesn't want you, but he doesn't want someone to have you either.. meaning his friend. He probably doesn't like the fact that his friend is even dating you cause you're his ex.

    If push comes to shove and your ex really start causing a bigger wedge in your relationship, then definitely sit you're boyfriend and give him an ultimatum. Tell him its either you're ex thats causing you guys problems or you.

    Tell him you don't want to be around your ex anymore and him being friends with him is just stressing you out. If he picks your're ex over you, then you might have to tell him goodbye.

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    • If my ex was toxic, I definitely know I wouldn't like having him around me or my boyfriend either. I wouldn't want him ruining my relationship.. and if you're boyfriend can't see that that then that's a problem. When your ex disrespected you in front him, he should have stepped up to him and said knock it off.

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What Guys Said 40

  • No respect no strength in the relationship... u should stop seeing ur boyfeond and when he ask u then tell him to choose between ur ex and u... also tell him to make ex respect u.. u not come in free that anyone can hurt u... take a stance and convey message to every one..

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    • Don't give him an ultimatum if you're not prepared for him to make either choice. Ultimatums are very unhealthy in a relationship. The only thing you can really do if tell them both how you feel about it. What they do after that is entirely up to them...

    • She already did this but of no use... it's more hurting that ur partner not taking u serious and will hurt more in future.. is ex is so much important to him that he can not choose between his girlfriend and her ex.. then what is relationship is all about...

  • Next time ur ex disrespects u in front of ur boyfriend... fight back... if ur boyfriend fights him for u then its good.. they might end up in a qurallel but next time they will not be friends.
    If he doesn't fight on ur behalf it means he is accompanying ur ex in disrespecting you... this is where u should ditch ur boyfriend.

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  • You don't. You don't own your boyfriend as he doesn't own you. The fact that you want to Control his life in anyway is wrong and will lead to a toxic relationship where he'll either repent you or he'll follow you blindly like a zombie. If you want control I recommend getting a dog ☺️

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  • Excellent English of urs,
    mine is poor ,
    pardon me for it.
    But i believe , love must be protected , worshipped , respected, from everywhere u need to ; be it friends , family , everyone who try to harm it, u must stop it. In ur case u trust ur boyfriend, he should protect ur respect and stopt ur ex from messing with ur life, stay firm , what u ask is ur right!

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  • If they were friends prior, then its not very reasonable for you to expect them to stop being friends... unless you want the label. of being the girl who ruins friendships. If you had a problem with dating him because he is friends with your ex, ya probably shouldn't have started the relationship.

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  • Neither do the both of us don't like the person we are in relationship with talks to their exes. It doesn't feel right but the first thing you should do is tell him that he should stop talking to his ex because you're jealous (etc) and don't like it. And if he says "We are just friends what's wrong with talking to my ex?" well.. better dump him already because there might be a high possibility he could turn his back on you and get together with his ex.

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  • Youve already voiced you opinion and he obviously has either ignored you or is thinking the whole bros before hoes thing listen he's not with you for you right now you in his and his homies eyes are a homie hopper

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  • Be honest and straight, you can try the old thing : "if you don't stop to talk to him I'll leave you!" or something like that, girls are good at things like that

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  • You ask him nicely. If he says no then bad luck. The only reason you don't want them to talk is because you are hiding something. If not, then u got nothing to worry about

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  • Break up with him. If you let it bother you that much, you've given up your actual power over this situation. Break up with him or get over it. That's it really

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  • You can’t make him do anything. All you can do is what you’ve already done. The next step is control your insecurities

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  • Make your boyfriend decide, does he want you or your ex. If you don’t what him associating with someone, you shouldn’t have to put up with the consequences

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  • Well it depends-- were they friends before you two started going out? Or only became friends afterward? That needs to be cleared up first.

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  • Honestly, I think you should deal with your insecurity about their relationship, if you know your boyfriend loves you and you respect him you shouldn't be so stressed out about it. It's probably pretty awkward for them to speak about you thus I would believe they avoid the subject.

    Also, you're putting your boyfriend in a shitty position of making a choice he doesn't want nor needs to.

    in my opinion you either deal with it and be the confident person, or just break up if you really can't handle it and don't waste more time.

    Good luck

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  • He is walking a dangerous path with respect to your relationship, the only reason I can think of as to why he is consulting with your enemy is because he wants to know why your ex broke up with you. Clearly your ex is not going to be giving unbiased information to your boyfriend and would likely say anything to defame you further.
    I don't believe trying to stop him would do any good, on the contrary it might even make things worse because he'll think you have something to hide from him that you don't want your ex to tell him about it. If he cares about you he'll likely confront you about what he's found out and you'll just have to set him straight. That way he'll know your ex is a liar and you'll be even closer to your boyfriend than ever before.
    Just don't be hasty and put an ultimatum in front of him and see how things play out becuase right now, there really isn't anything you can do except wait.

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  • has he been friends with your ex before you were together with him?

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  • Don't try to control who your partner associates with

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  • U can't make him do anything did u know they talked before u got with him

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  • You make him choose who’s more important and by now he should have noticed it was you

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  • LoL, I wish I were a teen again and all my problems were these...

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What Girls Said 11

  • If he says that "they're not even friends" but still continues to value your exes company over making you insecure, he's got mad problems in his priorities.

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  • if they were friends prior to your relationship then you can't force him to end their friendship.

    however he must have done something when your ex disrespected you but not to the point of ending the friendship.

    Just try to avoid your ex specially if you are with your boyfriend.

    one more thing, I don't mean to be offensive but if I were you, I will never date any of my ex's friends.

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  • you can’t force your boyfriend to stop talking with anyone, he’s free to talk with who he wants as long as this don’t really hurt you. please, don’t be like that

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    • So, you’re telling me after someone disrespects me in front of my boyfriend and I, I still should have to deal with their company? I understand he can talk to whoever he wants but I’m his girlfriend and I shouldn’t have to deal with his friends disrespect

    • You shouldn't have to deal with it no, but if your boyfriend wants to stay friends with your ex, you can't force him to break contact. My advice is that you tell him you don't want to be around your ex, and that if he wants to hang out with your ex, he should do it at a time you're not there

  • You can't control who he talks to. If he starts like believing things your ex says hat are like cruel, and stuff, i'd dump him

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  • What I did was block him frim everything. And told him I'd make a police report if he tried again. Yes it went that far.

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  • Your boyfriend is an idiot. He will hurt you, you better run out the door fast as you can lol. I bet you will regret it if you don't ;)

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  • Tell him openly.. he needs to respect your feelings otherwise he doesn't deserve you

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  • Who vented to the ex? You or your bf?

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    • My boyfriend

    • Ok well it’s really not appropriate to vent to someone’s ex and I’d tell him that but to not want two people to be friends for fear of what they’ll say about you is a bit much. He fact that they seem to enjoy each other only speaks to your good choices in men.

  • I would dump him

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  • Break up with him. Doone

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  • Probably not going to happen

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