Friends didn't tell me my boyfriend cheated on me, what should I do?

I broke up with my boyfriend (before I knew he cheated on me), then one of our mutual friends told me that he cheated on me many times and he wasn't worth it.

Thanks so much you are telling me this now?

She and the other friend of mine knew this and didn't tell me anything... I was mad but I still keep talking to them. I feel I deserve better friends...

  • Your friends are bitches.
    Vote A
  • No, I would do the same.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your friends didn't tell you because, they might think you wouldn't believe them, and you might think they were jealous. At the end of the day, for your friends to tell you would of being of very hard for them. They probably wanted to tell you, but scared if they did, they would lose you as a friend. They were damned if you do, and damned if they don't.
    Remember the Messenger always get shot, in these situations.

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    • Yeah but if it was me I would definitely tell them if I am certain of it (which they were), I would not want them to get led on by some d-bag.

    • If you feel hurt by their actions, it would probably be best to speak them about it, and see what their reaction and response you get from them, before making irrational decisions. Give them a chance to explain before judging them,

    • But remember not everyone is you. You are expecting your friends to live up to your expectations, and that's not fair. Also remember not everyone can be like you, and if you expect them to do the same as you, you are going to suffer a world of hurt. Don't put your expectations on to others.

Most Helpful Girl

  • That’s really unfair of them to keep it from you, especially if they were not mutual friends with your ex...
    I’m sorry that happened to you, that sounds awful 😣
    My best advice would be to talk to the friends about why they kept it from you, and if their answer is self-serving in ANY capacity, then cut ties... friends who don’t look out for your wellbeing and happiness aren’t truly your friends.

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What Guys Said 45

  • Those aren't real friends. EVEN if they were good friends with the guy too, that'd still be shitty of them.

    If my best friend cheated on someone and I was slightly friends with said person, I'd tell them. Sorry, but that's not okay.

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  • If you were 17, I would understand, but you are adults. They are properly not real friends worth keeping, but ask them what they would want you to do if it happened to them? First seek to understand their perspective before you judge and expect to be understood

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  • This happened to me recently. They told me everything after I found out but they said you were both our friend and I did not want to get in the middle. I told them your not in the middle anymore you choose your side. Adios not real friends.

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  • Get real and open your eyes. Some people post here when they are in the situation of your friends. It's not easy to decide if you should tell a friend when this happens. They would also have exposed to you disbelieving them and rejecting them. Their position is more complex than you envisage.

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  • i think you just need to tell them your disappointment in perpetuating a lie against you. tell them you understand it was a difficult position to be in but feel betrayed

    i agree it is lame that they did nothing and allowed you to live a lie but from their perspective i imagine they had legitimate (in their mind) reasons

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What Girls Said 27

  • So, I think it's wrong that they didn't tell you but I can understand why. I've had a friend who's boyfriend made advances at me and I couldn't tell her because I had no proof and it would have just looked like I was trying to come between them and break them up. Plus it becomes he said she said and I might have lost a friend because she chose to believe him over me. When we are in love sometimes we are blind. When invest so much in our love we will persecute anyone who casts bad light on them. If I knew my friends boyfriend was cheating I wouldn't say anything unless I had real evidence/proof to back me up and even then I'd be afraid it would ruin our friendship. There's a big taboo about getting involved in personal matters like relationships. It's very difficult to tell someone you care about something you know will break their heart knowing that they may associate that pain with the person who opened Pandora's box. Maybe give them a small break and ask them why they never told you. And maybe talk about how you'd like these things to be handled in the future if it ever comes to that point again.

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  • Umm they are your friends, not his!! You dont need friends like that. That's bullshit. Tell them to fuck off!! I would be livid!!! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You deserve better then him and better then them!!

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  • See that's why I would tell my friend, cause if they found out i knew and didn't say anything.. then they would get mad at me for not having their back.

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  • Well, to their credit, some people are afraid to spill the news because girls often turn on each other. If they told you, you could have suspected they were lying, jealous bitches just trying to ruin your relationship. That's why a lot of people don't get involved when someone else is cheating.

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  • Your friend are bitches and same thing happen to me in past and I dump my ex boyfriend and move on for not telling. My friends was worst always lies to me or always try put the blame on me. when I was already growing out of the relationship.

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