I think I'm falling out of love with my boyfriend. What should I do?

I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years as of next month. Basically, things aren't the same. It was a point where we had fun all the time whether it was in person, text, calling, Skype, whatever, things were great. Now things are different. Money isn't too good on both of our halves and we're both trying to figure out things. I understand why things wouldn't be shits and giggles all the time but at the same time, I'm bored. It's to a point where he never calls me, I have to call him and he sounds bothered, it's mostly small talk, he never says I love you unless he's just saying it back, and when we are together I have to pretty much beg for sex. Also that has kinda gone down hill because it doesn't feel like we're making love, it just feels like a chore for him. I give him space, I respect his privacy and I do what he says in regards to dealing with him.

Right now I'm kinda at my lowest. Engine blew in my car, debt, bills piling up, no job, no parents or grandparents, friends are showing true colors, sister isn't even on my side, I'm alone. When he was at his lowest, I went to visit him. He wasn't eating so I cooked for him. He wasn't going out like he usually did so I brought him out more (even though I hate going outside) and when he got a bit better, I was done going out so much but I still went with him. Now I'm asking for him to visit me and reciprocate and I got nothing. He's been saying for weeks "I'm not coming back for a while" "I'll be back" "idk when I'm coming" constant back and forth. I know we both need to be focusing on ourselves but I'm still here. I'm still his friend regardless of girlfriend. Why aren't you here for me like I was there for you? Talked to him about it and it's the same bullshit. I don't know what to do. I'm looking at him differently and starting to fall out of love. Maybe things will change when he finally shows up I don't know.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yep, 2 years is about the limit on being in love in the really wild sense. People inevitably lose their initial fire in a relationship at some point, so you have to deal with this kind of thing if you ever want a long-term partner. Don't just run away. That said, he doesn't seem very considerate, and the fact that you have to work to get him to have sex is pretty alarming. I know you said you talked to him, but it doesn't sound like you told him everything. Bring up how you feel overall in the relationship and all the big problems, but don't get frustrated or threaten to leave him because then he'll get resentful.

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  • Falling out of love
    No one falls out of love
    U r falling out of lust

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Sounds like you're going through a break-up. The words haven't been said yet, but all the indicators are there.

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  • Figure out your shit first and then he comes next. Don't put him ahead of what you need for yourself. Also, support, love and care would be great but not everyone shows it in the same mannerism. boyfriend or SO's aren't always the right person to support us through different situations.
    I say get yourself out of the dumps and then assess if your relationship is what you feel it is. When lots of different things go wrong in our lives we tend to see the glass as half empty and not half full.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • You describe yourself like an angel with no downsides personality wise and that pops some flags. Maybe you aren't malicious, but some people have low patience for certain behaviors that are seen as passive or weak. It sucks, but he can't satisfy your emotional need when you're at a low point (i am in no way saying he's a bad guy), he might not be right for you

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  • Thats adult life, if you love eachother you will stick through it, I understand you are bored but what's the alternative, starting fresh with someone else? You will end up the same situation

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  • Every relationship has a phase of pure passion and all the good stuff and then it falls off a little but the way you described it, it seems like there's nothing left in there, at least from his part. My advice to you is to talk to him, like really talk to him, put everything on the table and tell him to do the same and you will know what to do, but do not this over the phone.

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  • It sounds like he checked out, you're best just to move on , you should never chase someone to love you , Love isn't forced it can only be guided , you need to ask yourself will you be ok if he isn't in your life anymore? Then talk to him and tell him how you feel , if he doesn't respond to in a caring way and wanting to save the relationship then that should be your answer to move on

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  • You can take it as any of the perspectives and out of which the probability of both of them being true is almost equal.
    Either he might be having some problem or some thing going on that he cannot discuss with you (yes there are things that guys don't share with even their beloved) and he might be working hard to make it out of there.
    And at the same time there might be the possibility that he might be losing his feelings for you for some or the other reason.

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  • yeah your are right , things may change according to clock becoz we won't think about the past which we come through that hard times so in my point of view he forgot those all things which was happened earlier that you have made them easy for him now your in a relationship but he can't understand the value of that love so wait for time let him realise or let him go through start a new life to be happy that it

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  • There, in my opinion, are only 2 sensible options; 1. Try to work it out, and by try I mean seriously try your hardest, or 2. Break up with him and don't date for a while and reevaluate your principles on relationships.

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  • This is so sad... it kind of took few tears from me I am in a similar situation. Hope things get better for you if not... it is just natural to part ways.

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  • If you guys don't feel the deep connection any more and it can't come back, I would consider looking elsewhere

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  • Sounds like it's already over to me. Doesn't seem like he's interested in the relationship anymore.

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  • You need some real friends and a real relationship because obviously this man is not interested in you
    He is interested in something else about you that you don't have it anymore

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  • Just talk about these things with your boyfriend straightly. Then both of u will make a conclusion

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  • Umm. Sounds more like he is bored and you are lonely. Just keeping it real

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  • That happened to me on my last relationship. Time to move on. Your very cute so you will find somebody soon๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

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  • He's already left you behind and doesn't even care enough about you to let you know.

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  • It seems to me that the magic is gone... Maybe forever...

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  • Leave him and find someone else.

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  • Just straight up tell him... Be honest

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  • Leave

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  • Do ' the love dare ' Google it

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    • Seems like something I should approach him with later, he has enough going on right now

    • Do it without telling him your doing it. (Watch the movie fireproof for reference)

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What Girls Said 13

  • I take it this is LDR?
    Take a break, tell him you want some space for both of you to do some thinking. If you find that you want this to really work, then work harder at it. I see a lot of stress going on here. This is a disaster just waiting to happen. Act soon. I am losing hope by the minute.

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  • You need to tell him how you feel and if he gives you bs then do the next step and if that's breaking up then that's breaking up, if he isn't gonna take it serious or not gonna do anything don't waste your time, do all you can to save the relationship but if he isn't trying why bother

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  • At some point it's shit or get off the pot for your relationship. If the interest is waning from y'all both, it sounds like you already know the answer. People in love fight for that and don't give up. Ever.

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  • Maybe he doesn't feel like that anymore. I have a 2 year relationship too and we still are the same. Even better.

    Maybe you gave him too much space. Or he got feeling for someone else. Ask him and I hope you two solve everything and be happy again.

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  • I've been in your shoes and it's a really shitty feeling to feel like you pour out love, and get little to nothing back. No man is worth settling your happiness for, and he will eventually come back when you stop chasing him. But that's not love. And chances are he's feeling a lot of the same stuff you are. Best advice I have for you is run.

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  • Honestly girl is sound like both the you are just torturing each other so be straight up with him and let him know how you feel about it and I mean there's no way he can deny if what you're saying is true then he'll probly agree with you he properties confused about how to break it off just like you are make it easier for both of you

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  • This sounds a bit odd to me like he isn't interested any more. What man doesn't like having sex. Maybe spice it up a bit in the bedroom? Hopefully that might help you both. If that doesn't do anything for him or if he doesn't change then you both need to sit down and talk. You don't want to be stuck in a dead end relationship any longer.

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  • Welcome to the honeymoon stage being over! If yous really love each other you will stick it out and get through it.
    Communication! Talk to him about it.

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  • Maybe you can talk to him about this and figure it out.

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  • Talk to him, if you really do love him. But gotta say, he sounds like he has troubles too

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  • Kill him before he can get away

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  • If you aren't in love anymore... be honest

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  • Break up with him

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