Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?
  • Yes (explain)
    Vote A
  • No (explain)
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. Simply because if I haven’t loved, then there’s probably no longing or want on my part, so I wouldn’t have the ability to care either way. Also, I feel like a platonic lifelong bestie is much better than having a romantic relationship.

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What Guys Said 134

  • We have been put on this planet to experience emotion. As human beings, we have the ability to learn and experience life through an individual stand point. We have emotion because we have heart, souls and feelings towards others. We cannot read the minds of others, we do not know the outcome of our endeavors, but we do have something special and that is love. It is easy to take it for granted as many do. Who among us has truly loved and only realized it when it was taken from us. The emptiness in our souls without that key ingredient of our stable, happy and normal life. Who has lost and knows the pain of giving up that which makes us most happy, but also becomes just another norm in our lives. No longer appreciated but just there. Always there, always secure in our lives. That feeling when you realized how much you are not so strong, so in control, so positive, so giving, so blessed, so HAPPY when you no longer have your other half with you. I feel for those even more so which have not ever known the loss of love. Those are the ones with no will to sacrifice anything for anyone other then themselves.

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  • Ask the incels. It is said that you can't know what you're missing if you've never had it, but the incel group sure is jealous of everyone else getting what they don't get. Loving and losing is painful, but imagine seeing love everywhere and everyone's reaction to how indescribably great it is, but never getting to know it yourself. That stuff is torture, I get how they feel.

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    • I get what you are saying and you bring about great points. However, when you lose someone you really loved, it hurts very much. If you never loved and lost you wouldn’t have to endure that pain. Arguments can be made for both sides but 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • Yes absolutely! I’d rather tried and gone after love then to never have it. To never know what love is would be such a tragedy. Even though the break up and lose is very hard at the end, the time together and the happiness it brings can never be taken away. Of course the real reason for all of this is to find that one true love that you can keep for the rest of your life and then in that case it’s never lost.

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  • I actually think it's better to never to have loved at all. You don't have to worry about the pain of a lost love or any other baggage that comes with.

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    • Completely acceptable way to feel, just not productive at all. It also tricks your mind into thinking in a negative way that brings even more negative emotions while keeping the positive ones at bay. Life is good and bad at the same time. We have to know pain and suffering so it does not take us by surprise and destroy us but at the same time cling to the good in this world as if our lives and whole existence depended on it. The bad also makes the good in life stand out that much more. Helps you focus on it. If you have faith in the good in this world, it is all you need to tip the scale in your favor.

    • I mean I would have been fine to never have loved at all. But sadly I did. True there is good and bad, but it doesn't mean that never loving a SO means you have a negative portion of your life. We are capable of more than one form of love. We love our friends, family and animal companions.

  • Yes.
    Everone should try Love once in life. If it is successful then Congrats.
    Else you will know how emotionally weak you are. And at last there will be improvement in your emotion weakness. This helps you to choose your partner in better way for future.

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  • 100%. it might hurt for a bit but loving someone is worth the pain. also should be noted in today's society if you say I love you within the first week to month you full of shit and so is near everyone else. that is the lust phase of things. give it 1 to 2 months and compare feelings to those of last relationships. or those of family members whom you love.

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  • Life isn't fair. Life sucks in plenty of ways. I think as people we ought ot love each other for the sake of loving each other, not for the sake of what we get out of it, and we ought never to be deterred by what we may lose because of it. That's the way I see it so it is better to love and lose than not to love simply because we should love. It's not that the joy is worth the heartache, it's that we ought to love. That's all.

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  • I think whether it's a good or bad thing depends on how you handle it and what you do after the break up. If you're able to handle the break up and learn from it, then yes, because it was a learning experience. But if you let the ending of a relationship break you and derail your life, then maybe it would have been better to have never loved.

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  • Yes. Losing it hurts as hell. But never having it was worse (for me anyhow). I was a very late bloomer. I went for years being isolated and alone (I had friends, not the same thing). Meeting someone, feeling that they where as happy to see me as I was to see them really energised life for me. It was hard when they started pulling away, and then when they finally called it a day.

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  • I lost my wife when I was 28. I cherish the time we had as short as it was. I'll never have love again am very glad Sara is in my life and in my soul.
    When someone loves you back a as unconditionally as your love even one day of your life is better spent with than a lifetime with a companion, who could serious give two shuts if u crooked. I cry everyday I miss her. She still speaks to me through the world.

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  • Love and lost helps you find what you want and what you don't want/don't need. Even if the relationship wasn't worth it then you have the lessons from that relationship to improve the next one. So if one relationship is going to be worth it where you use the lessons from pas relationships that makes those relationships worth the loss. Maybe if you refuse to reflect on past relationships and assume they are always the bad person in te relationship. In that case you might just wasted you life.

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  • It's so hard to love someone and broke up or lost.. it really hurts , but the moments that u share with ur "love" , all the actions the places that u visited together , a party u enjoyed.. these things can't be replaced and they make us smile.. So even loosing is better than nothing

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  • I have never ever ever ever been in a relationship it had any true friends at all. At least for the last 5+ years of my life, but more accurately my whole life.
    Every day feels like I've just lost more and more without gaining hardly enough in return for it to matter.
    People at least have the opprotunity to learn and grow from the bad experiences and the good ones are theraputicly healing to everyone involved.

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  • I think yes. The point of life is to fill it with memories. Don't you want to have an epic flashback experience when you kick the bucket? You don't die with possessions (houses, cars, money, etc). But you do die with your memories. Living a life alone will not leave you with any memories and will be dull. However, if you love, at least you'll have some incredible memories that you keep forever.

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  • People say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all because it's true it's an experience in life just like everything else and the more you experience the more you learn from it and your stronger and wiser having had that experience

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  • It teaches you and gives you experience for the next person, and it also (maybe) leaves behind good memories, even if those memories are sore at first.

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  • Failed love is for people that are weak at sealing their emotions, they wanna be loved and to have the feeling of someone being there for them. Love has two sides, it can give you everything you ever wanted or take everything from you. I fell in love only 3 times in my life maintained those relationships. I gave everything, I was there 24/7 gave my full support, physically and emotionally. But humans are full of greed, no matter how much you love, or loved someone, they want more. It never stops

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  • Feeling love is unique, Loving your family or kids isn't the same, Loving a partner is different somehow, You earn the love to eachother, Its blood sweat and tears to get it, Love is also easily threw around these days, I see girls sooo in love a week after meeting their current boyfriend just like they said to the last guy...

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  • I've never been loved by non family members so i can't really comment but it already feels absolutely horrible to not be able to go out with the girl I like , i can i. agine that having your love reciprocated and then having it all torn away would be living hell

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  • Depends on how the "lost" part happened.

    If someone you love makes a positive impact on your life then dies, then yes.

    If you fall in love with a girl who uses you and dumps you, leaving you with trust issues, then no.

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What Girls Said 61

  • nope nope noooope. loving and then getting it all completely broken and shattered will make u regret u loved and even had the emotion and choice of affection. u will feel disgusted. so it’s better to not even get close to a person if ur gonna fall in love and think u will be by each other’s sides and never hurt each other only to lose that person and get everything ripped away from u. so no thanks :) not again

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  • Yes. I have never been in love, or in a relationship, but I love my mother and siblings most in this world. I know that I will eventually lose them, but I can't deny the knowledge, experience and life lessons that have shaped me into who I am today. Losing them will probably change something inside of me forever, but what I learnt from them is invauable.

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  • I would rather have a loving memory of the one I loved than never have them in my life. Almost everyone that I love has changed me for the better, and I am so thankful for them, even when I lose them. Even though I will lose everyone one day, I would rather have had the love they shared with me than nothing at all.

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  • I don't know, a part of of me wants to say that I'd rather know what love is, so I don't settle for anything else, but also losing that love is fucking horrible.

    Breaking up with someone you didn't (sincerely) love is easier? than losing a person you actually did love?

    So I don't know, what do you think?

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  • Loved and lost , because failed relationships have taught me what I do and don't want from a relationship. They've taught me a lot about myself. Experiences in my life, good and bad , have help me to discover my some of my strengths and weaknesses.

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  • It depends on how you look at it but I would think it’s better to have loved someone and lost them so you can at least experience love. Than never experience at all. You’d go in life always wondering. But I also think it would help in a future relationship to help you know and better understand the type and love and relationship you want and deserve.

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  • No. Who, realistically is happy to be heartbroken and disappointed? That saying is something we tell ourselves to soften the reality. Heartbreak isn't all bad. It can teach us what not to do going forward.
    I don't know anybody who falls in love with the hope of losing that very love in an painful way.

    I'd rather not fall in love with someone who's toxic or abusive but if I ever did, I wouldn't want to sit around wishing I'd never fallen in love. I'd hope to learn from it and move on.

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  • Yes, if you enjoyed the time you spent with that person, then the relationship was worthwhile. Obviously breaking up is awful, but it doesn't erase the good times you had.

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  • Love is a taste of life. You should try to make your life happy and bright

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  • It's better from terms of having experienced it. Otherwise, emotionally wise it isn't. I remember how much I wanted to know what love is like. And then when I found it and lost it, I wished I had never experienced it, but now I'm glad that it happened to me. So I think it's better to have loved and lost.

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  • I think that depends how much you grew through your relationship with the other person and whether the relationship was based on sex or emotional qualities.

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  • Yeah I was just thinking about this question today.

    I look at my mom who is a single mother and currently single now.

    I know that even though things did not work out with my her and my dad, she was really in love.

    And to have that love even for the short time that she did, would of been better than not ever experiencing it.

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  • I sometimes prefer to never have loved anyone because to have loved someone and then losing them... the pain is indescribable.

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  • No I wish I ever had fall in love with that guy and it was a massive waste of my time when I could have been putting my time on someone else who truly cared

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  • Yes. It totaly destroys you but sometimes you need to break yourself in pieces to discover that some pieces were actually not needed and needs to be replaced. It gives you understanding of what you want and what you NOT want in your second relationship so when you had that feeling and lost it you should think why you have fallen for that person in the first place, what was wrong in relationship and how can you avoid same mistakes in your next relationship

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  • If they really loved you then how come it ended? If they died fair enough but if they dumped you for someone else it was not love.

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  • According to people love is the most precious feeling even when it’s broken. Not to have would be rejecting yourself from have feeling for anything or anyone. It like a funeral for a loved one your glad to have known them than never having the influence of idea of them.

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  • Yes. I tend to love more than I should, but afterwards I learn to love myself more because of it. There is some heart break if it doesn’t work out, but it should make you stronger and better for the next time. Even if you choose yourself.

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  • Yes. Because at least you have memories and earned experience from it.

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  • I wouldn't give back one moment, touch, word of anyone I loved that has gone away. Every love makes us who we are!

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