Why is my boyfriend so distant lately?

For the first month and a half that we were dating my boyfriend was awesome-he was really sweet and funny and hung out with me every chance he could. He would 'test boundaries' to see how far I would go with him, but it wasn't very far because I haven' been ready to do much.

Over the past week thought he's completely changed. He's stopped trying to do anything with me, which includes kissing me or even holding my hand. He's also seemed kind of distant and quiet when I'm with him.

Like today, we went to a water park for my birthday with 3 of my friends. He was playing games on his phone half the car ride up there and when I sat to close to him he seemed to pull away.

He sat by himself while we were in the wave pool and almost didn't come on the rides with us because "5 is an odd number. Someone will have to go by themself. Go with your other friend, you invited her." I just looked at him and said "i invited you first, and I want to go on rides with you." He didn't seem very sure that I actually wanted to hang out with him.The rest of the day he was just out of it and quiet.

I've kind of been thinking that he's frustrated that I'm not ready to fool around much, and that's why he's so distant, but that doesn't explain a lot of his other behavior. Any ideas on why he's changed suddenly?


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What Guys Said 1

  • There's an old joke about this woman asking all kinds of questions about why her husband is so upset and distant that day. She thinks she really did something wrong to hurt him, so she makes it up to him. (you get the picture).

    Then you show the man's point of view. "The Badgers lost again. Got some sex from my wife though, so today ENDED good."

    It could be something relationship wise, but it could also be work, or his team lost, or he's just simply not in the mood. It happens to both genders.

    I know personally that sometimes I'll go into a retrospective mood, where my mind is everywhere except where it's supposed to be. It's not that I'm angry. In fact, I don't think I even give off a angry vibe. But everyone wants to know what's wrong when they finally notice I got quiet, (which I actually do a lot. It's just people don't notice).

    Either way, the only way to fix this is some good old communication - not arguing, but communication. If he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't have to, but let him know it would help, then let him be. Sometimes we just have to get over whatever it is annoying us.

    Hope this helps.

    • Yeah that's a really good point. I just wasn't sure if I was over thinking it or if I'd actually done something. Thanks for the advice!

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