Is my Ex in a healthy relationship?

My Ex broke up with me after a long time together. He began to be really depressed, he didn't know what he wanted from life and he wasn't taking care of himself yet he still tried to make me happy. I saw there was something wrong and tried to help but because we were long distance and I had my own problems, he ended up breaking up with me even though he stopped me from having this conversation so many times whenever he thought I was trying to ask. A month after we broke up, he started seeing a girl that he had known for a long time but she just got out of a relationship where she was dumped. He continued to talk to me and lead me on for about seven months until I got fed up and said hurtful things to him so he deleted all of his social media and cut himself off from the world. I tried to talk to him every few months but he never replied and im not surprised but he has not tried to make any friends and he only ever hangs out with this girl and he has isolated himself. I'm kind of worried about him because I know he wasn't in the best state when we broke up. I want to know if this is healthy and if he will ever be himself again and also why would someone do this or act this way when he was so adventurous and happy but he has changed into someone i dont recognise and who cuts himself off from everyone completely.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I dont want to sound cruel so please understand that what o say i say with respect and from a place of kindness. Leave him alone he knows that you have tried to get in touch and has not responded. He is done with you and your relationship and has moved on. You need to do the same. It would be awesome if you two could remain friends but he has chosen otherwise. You need to worrry and care for you. I dont know you but i am worried about you. You are not in a healthy place. I know when a relationship ends its more painful than when i got shot or even when i was blown up. I would take eitjer of those agian rather than feel the pain of my heart breaking. Go have a good life dont look back. Stay strong and be brave. Remember pain is only weakness leaving the body.

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  • First of all it isn't any of your business. Just because you two went out in the past, that doesn't mean he wants you in his life anymore, nor does it mean he welcomes your opinion or input on why he does with his life. The fact that he is refusing to respond to you is a bit of a dead give away that he doesn't want you in his life anymore and wants you to leave him alone.

    You claim he isn't making any friends, but how do you know that? Are you stalking him that badly? Maybe he has made new friends but they're simply not connected to any of your spheres of influence or knowledge. Maybe he has all the friends he needs. One does not need to go out and constantly find new people to hang out with.

    In my 20s, I used to host parties, have lots of friends and was quite social. Then I got jumped by some drunks, got sick of all the petty childish drama and most of my friends ended up back stabbing me and weren't there for when I needed them.

    I dropped all that crap out of my life and am much better off too. Dropped my girlfriend, dropped the so called friends, stopped hosting house parties and cleaned myself up from all of that crap. Now I'm married, have a kid and move countries and I'm a lot better off than I was.

    I get that you seem to care for this guy's well being, but you can't force someone to accept your help and if he doesn't want help from you then that's it... Let it go. It's no longer your business. What he does with his life is none of your concern.

    You've noted your age is between 25-29... Which I assume your ex boyfriend is also around that age. That means you're both grown adults capable of living your own lives, making your own decisions and facing your own consequences.

    You need to move on and leave him alone. You're not his mother, you're not his wife, you're not his girlfriend... You're his ex. An Ex he obviously wants nothing to do with anymore.

    Stop messaging him and move on.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you should stop worrying about him. He’s clearly moved on from you so why haven’t you done the same from him?
    He broke up with YOU. It’s okay to feel hurt from it. You should. You obviously cared about him. But he broke up with you which clearly means he no longer wants you in his life. So you need to find someone else because he doesn’t deserve to be running circles round your head all day.

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  • Let him be, he need time alone to heal himself, the way he reacted was not ur fault... thats my opinion
    Im in that state of seclution too jaja not talking to that guy

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Not your boyfriend not your problem. You're probably contributing to his depression because you won't give him the proper space to heal without you. Leave him alone. He probably didn't cut himself off from the world he probably just blocked you and your friends.

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  • He probably I hate to bring bad news I cut himself when he is depressed and he might have been cheating on you I cut myself when I depressed but I would look for a guy that has never had a Girlfriend he won't leave you and all my long distance relationships didn't last longer than a week or 2 I want to make a longer one.

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  • Why worry over an ex? Worry on yourself an ex is history you is in the present he’s in a history book move on your life all he’ll do is bring you down with his problems it’s never good to go back to an ex

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  • Disappointment Maybe on himself I mean
    Like I could have done things differently but lost faith in himself

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  • From personal experience being that I am in the samr boat as him exactly, the reason I changed and cut off everyone was because I started doing drugs so possible he could be too

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  • Honestly it sounds like he's had nothing but heart ache for a whole year and now he doesn't know what to do with himself and it's depressing him

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  • Love hits your brain, it can change a person completely

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  • I hope so everything will be okay, if he love you, he will be turn back

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  • Why do you even care?

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  • Hate.

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  • I am a meminestic man with a manly man man.

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  • It sounds like he may be schizophrenic

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  • Same story in other words: you met a happy adveturous guy, after some time in a relationship with you he became unhappy, depressed, and finally got brave enough to dump you, the source of unhappiness. Now, when he started recovering from the shit you threw upon him, and initiated a new relationship with another woman, you became jelous and "worried". Is it healthy? Not quite. If I were you, I would seriously question myself as to how did I turn a great into a piece of shit.

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What Girls Said 13

  • He's an adult, can make his own choices, decisions and had made them.
    Nothing you can do if he doesn't want your help or feel the need to. You can wish him all the best and move on with your life.

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  • Honestly let him be, he isn't your boyfriend anymore I think he needs to time to move on.

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  • Sometimes when depression causes self destruction. It’s good that your out or he drag you down eventually.

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  • It's a phase, he will get over it.
    Doesn't seem a weak guy.
    Worry about yourself. Cheers !

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  • None of your business. Move on and worry about yourself

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  • It really isn't your business.

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  • Why do you care?

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  • Nope not in a healthy relationship

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  • Wow.. what a text!

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  • Only worry about yourself

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  • Okay, if he's not talking to you then you actually have no clue what he's doing with his life, nor does he want you to. He's your ex for a reason... Let it be.

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  • I thibk no

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  • My ex went like that but it took time for him to bounce back. It might be the case for him but if not I'm unsure.

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