Do you open up to people easily?

i find it really difficult and I don't know y? nothing traumatic has happened to me that others haven't got over. I don't know what im even scared of. can u relate? how do i change?
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  • no
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What Guys Said 89

  • I am pretty much an open book with most people. Being open and honest is the gateway into the soul of a person. It is so much easier to find people you are interested in, whether as a mate or as a friend, if you are able to be open and honest about yourself. It's an expressway to the heart of a person and allows the other person to See your true self. Doing so weeds out both good and bad people almost right away in my experience. Showing your true self allows you to find people who are on the same wavelength as you, and being open creates faster and stronger relationships as well. Always does in my opinion.

    On the flip side, being open with people also roots out and quickly exposes negative people as well; ones who try to tear you down, who are just bad people or who otherwise decent people, but just aren't compatible with you.

    But I have the strength to not give two craps about people who try to tear me down. I am strong and secure enough as a person to not allow people like that to get me down. But I truly believe being open is the key to finding and creating stronger, more gratifying, more lasting, and more enlightened relationships and friendships.

    I'd say the key to getting over this is becoming strong and secure within yourself to where you have no fear of anyone who may try to be negative with what you have to share. Strength as a person is the absolute foundation for being open with others about yourself. After all, what people have to say are just words. It's how WE interpret them and allow them to affect us is up to YOU.

    Unfortunately, there is no singular straight path towards becoming stronger as a person to not allow others to affect you, no matter what they say. Everyone's path is different to get there, because we have all led different lives that have brought us to this place.

    However, I'd say learning to truly love yourself and being secure with yourself as a person is a huge key to it though. As well as making sure to surround yourself with people who truly appreciate you and who uplift you as a person ONLY. Just being around such people can help your self-confidence to become a stronger person.

    It's not an easy journey or a short journey to get there, but it is SO worth the effort to get to that place to become stronger and to not allow others to affect you. When you get there it will be SO worth it. And the people you create bonds with will be so much stronger, I assure you. 😉🙂

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  • Perhaps a bit too much. I'm a chatterbox telling things like embarrassing stories of my youth to people around me along with my secret hopes and aspirations and also my flaws and so forth.

    I've been rewarded for it more often than not, at least in person, with people becoming friends soon after. I figure if you treat someone like a best friend right from the get go, the chances of them becoming a close friend go up, and doing this has allowed me to even find close friends among random people sitting next to me on airplanes and such who even came to visit me when they came back to Japan (even though I met them heading to the US).

    At least that has been my experience more often than not. Every now and then I'll find someone who isn't the slightest bit amused and doesn't reciprocate and open up back to me, in which case it's a little bit awkward but I'll just pick someone else to chat with nearby.

    I actually might do it as a form of self-therapy because I used to be so embarrassed about me, constantly thinking I'm such an idiot. Then I learned to find humor in that idiocy and share it with people, and found in doing so that I not only lost most of the shame associated with it, but started making many more friends along the way.

    I also tend to do this more with girls than guys. I find girls tend to respond better to opening up this way, maybe laughing and finding so much amusement in the silly things about me as well as opening up about themselves. For guys, I think they tend to feel a bit more uncomfortable if a guy is opening up about himself so quickly, so I tend to be a little bit more poker-faced around most guys and take it easier there. With male strangers, I tend to open up more about things I like and talk about them in a very unfiltered way instead of awkward personal stories, and then we might be high-fiving and hanging out at the end.

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    • 7d

      For me it helped to just lose all the embarrassment. It's hard to truly embarrass me nowadays, as I've even gone drunk steaking butt-naked in front of thousands of people. When thousands of random strangers have seen you completely naked, there's not much left to be embarrassed about.

      And so these days I just let it all hang out, if you will, and I'll just "expose myself" in that way in some form or another (even if I'm wearing clothes, I'm "nude" metaphorically in the sense of how I open up to people), and I figure the people who still like me all exposed that way are probably going to make pretty decent friends, since they appear to like me even when I'm all bare and exposed and raw and unfiltered with nothing to hide.

    • 7d

      * as I've even gone drunk [/streaking] butt-naked in front of thousands of people.

    • 7d

      And likewise in the rare instances where people I talk to (at least in person) don't like me all exposed this way, I figure I dodged a bullet.. since if I had to hide things about me to get them to like me, then I figure they'll cease to like me when I start truly opening up.

  • No and. never

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  • I do probably to a fault- but I have never discernibly been burned for it either, in fact typically that leads to positive experiences for me. especially with dating. Although I never open up about these types of things in a professional matter. I am pretty sure I would be fired or ostracized with my colleagues found out my 'inner self'

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  • I had a bunch of childhood traumas, so young, I did not open up. Find someone you can trust to talk to. For me, it was an older, stable youth director at our church. They need to not have an “agenda” ( not trying to have sex with you, not going to tell anyone else about what you tell them). The most “closed” people are ones whose confidence was betrayed, where secrets were told and you were the joke of the day. It taught me to not ever tell anyone anything.

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  • I am now consiously always on gard as I was too easy on my information back in teen years. I was the introverted shy kid that rarely spoke, yet when I did, I could say what ever that came to mind and I would not hesitate.
    I still have those traits but i am atleas aware of it now.

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  • Yes and No! There is some things i do tell about me self to people i just know or consider just casual friends few things like some usual general private things, where i live, married, work, when i was younger and so on. The people i really know, i hold close and i want them to know more about me as much as i want to know about them.

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  • i will only open up to you if i think you can keep the secrets.
    i don't open up to anyone, you have to be close to me or someone on the internet who will never be able to get close to me in person, and be able to help me with said thing i'm opening up about.

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  • Yes and no. I'm a social person but im also paranoid to an extent. I can talk to pretty much anybody given the circumstances, but I'm highly impatient and hostile to assholes and inappropriate behavior. I have nothing to hide and won't be shamed for the person I am and the things I've been through.

    If you have a question, ill usually answer it.

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  • It really depends who we are talking about and what I'm opening up about. I'm pretty open about my more basic feelings but you have to get to know me pretty well before I'll really open up and tell you the more intimate stuff.

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  • Depends on the setting. If I'm at work I filter what I say, if I'm on a date I filter what I say, if I'm on the streets I filter what I say.

    When your as handsome as me you simply can't trust people, they have ulterior motives, some men are secretly gay and try to befriend you, some women want to have sex with you, some people want to hurt you.

    I give people the benefit of the doubt, but on average, its never as what it seems.

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  • Honestly, for me, it just depends how good of listeners we are being. If people would actually take a moment to listen I think a lot more of us would be able to open up.

    However, I don't think always being an open book is healthy either.

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  • No not really. I've only really opened up to one of my friends out of my friend group and that was only just recent (even though we have been friends for 4 years). We had a very mature conversation and I told them things that no one else knows and they did the same.

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  • I am brutally honest and will talk candidly about anything. I struggle with self confidence but I don't care, I recently went back to work after having a depressive episode and I have no qualms talking about it.

    People who say they don't talk because they don't care I don't understand. Im open to everyone because I don't care this is me, don't like it fair enough I'm not interested to n spending Ill will.

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  • C. Depends on the person. Some people I feel an almost instant connection.

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  • i have a little bit of trust issues with people who tries to get super friendly with me after just meeting them. i've never had good experience with people who does that.

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  • Somewhat. I only let people know what I want them to know. I don't like people knowing I live a life where money's tight all the time and etc. I just tell them my hobbies and interests or opinions

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  • I think my fear of opening up to people comes from a mixture of being shamed by family members for being emotional/different and having low self worth. It's to the point where I can't cry if I have others around, but can let a couple tears out if I'm alone. I answer questions with preset basic responses to avoid really opening up. Someone asks me how I'm doing? "Fine, decent, pretty good, etc."

    There is also an aspect of masculinity for me. Sharing events and feelings with others makes me feel weak and embarrassed, it's like I need to be stoic and unaffected by things at all times. Being sad, in pain or embarrassed feels weak and emasculating, especially around friends, family, or a girlfriend since I care more about what they think of me. So I just hide how I feel, whats happening in my life, and what I'm thinking about at almost all times. And especially never let someone see it when they've hurt you.

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  • For me it depends on who I'm talking to but these days a lot less easy than I used to

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  • I understand It's very hard for me too with my current girlfriend I can very easily and well it happened naturally. When you meet the right people it becomes easy.

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What Girls Said 54

  • I still haven't opened up to people I've known for years.

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    • 6d

      Lol same, I haven't even opened up to anyone in my family yet, I always still them I'm good whenever they ask how I'm doing

  • I don't

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  • I'm superficial , but very friendly with people until i get to know them personally. I'm an open book with some people , but closed with others.

    So some people will get to know my innermost thoughts and feelings , and get to know me on a deeper level , but others won't

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  • I do open up really easily, it has just always been how I am. Do you have any anxiety issues other than this? Maybe you could try thinking about specific topics that you are really comfortable with talking about and whenever you talk to someone new you could just focus on those 😊

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  • No I don't open up easily right I usually like to sit back and observe people and get a feel for them. I also tend to question the motives of others a lot. I've had some horrible past experiences that have made me become more guarded and careful about who I get close to or let in.

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  • If it's close friends or family I'm willing to be open but other than that I'm using not that open to people about what I'm dealing with personally maybe besides being bored or tired or annoyed with something. I sometimes though I open up on the internet if I feel like it

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  • When I was younger, I was more open. When it became more personal, I only shared those things with my close friends at the time. Now I got trust issues & I'm more closed off.. it really varies on what I decide to share. Sometimes I try to be a little bit more open but some things even your closest friends dont need to know. I'm just a private person 🤷🏾‍♀️

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  • No I don't. It's hard for me to find a person to fully open myself to, because I'm mostly uninterested in most people. But I have one person who knows me completely

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  • Well I can make friends with people really quickly and I might be just a tiny weeny bit easy but I don't really like giving out my feelings because I feel I won't be seen the same way and that just discourages me to be real with my peeps lol

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  • Nope I'm terrible at it, I always keep thing's bottled up because I feel ashamed and weak and don't feel others will understand so I just try and deal with it by myself

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  • No, I don't. It took me ages to open up to the guy I really liked - and I wish I had done it earlier because life together is beautiful.

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  • No I don't... I have real trust issues.. I have to know u very well 2 open up 2 u... I open up online better then in person... its less awkward and way easier that way... I sort of prefer things that way😎

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  • No really, I just like to keep to myself. I keep my circle very small and only talk about personal things with those I deeply trust.

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  • Because of the cognitive impairment I face from my disability it is hard to make conversation. I have been told I freely give personal information when I shouldn't. Socializing is a difficult challenge that most take for granted.

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  • On a rare occasion and I connect with a person it’s easy for me to open up. But for the majority of the time I am more comfortable keeping to myself and being more of an observer

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  • No, I'll answer something briefly if directly asked, but I'd consider myself a relatively private person and I like keeping things to myself.

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  • No. There are a very, very few that I feel comfortable enough to open up to. Other than that no I don’t open up easily.

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  • I'm nice to people and all but I'm very guarded about personal stuff.

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  • Not at all. I don't think I've ever opened up to anyone fully actually. I just think it's smarter that way, what you don't tell them they can't use against you.

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  • it might just be ur upbringing, if you say your parents be awfully closed off and reserved with emotions

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