My girlfriend is making me overthink our relationship what to do?

So im gonna make this short. We have been together for 8 months now and we are doing long distance she is gonna visit me in 3 months time and she had a couple of relationships before and this is my first relationship like ever and i really really love her we even said that we are gonna marry each other and all anyway her ex is in the same country as her and she told me that she broke up with him because they were doing long distance and she doesn't want that anyway now he is contacting her and she asked me if its fine to speak to him i told her its totally fine since she said he is only helping me with uni and stuff so i was like its fine then she asked if they can hangout i told her i really dont feel comfortable when you hangout especially when both of you had a sexual rs before and i think i fucked up there but i just made it clear that i dont want them hanging out its only becasue i dont trust the guys intentions ever since the time she left to uni in another country she is kinda actively mentioning her ex and she even sent me a post of his or whatever now i like to be honest and straight to the point i told her that i dont find it nice when you mention him and all that she took it too seriously or something she said fine i won't tell you anything and then she says see this is why i dont like telling you things and all that. Now I don't know if im too pushy but i feel like she doesn't really love me and why i think that is becasue if im gonna be your future husband then why are we fighting over these stupid things and then she tells me i dont wanna talk to you and proceeds to not talk to me what do i do this constantly happens not only with her ex but other tiny stupid arguments she has a complex way of blaming things on me and i just dont like it when all im tryna do is be nice its kinda hard for me tbh because as i said this is my first relationship and im currently 17 so yea.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If they broke up cuz of distance and nothing else it should be very clear to you that there are huge chance that she's not over him yet, so if he's back, they can go back together.

    I think it was wrong of you to allow her to talk to him, because he's an ex and is supposed to stay an ex.. no contact whatsoever. Now that u told her it's ok, she's gonna take it as an opportunity to talk to him more and more. Which in turn can gradually make her change her decision from you to him.

    And for the last part, her blaming you for every little thing, that already is a red flag for a relationship that's not gonna go well. Also deciding to get married that early is also something that's really unnecessary.

    • okay so what do you think i should tell her?

    • Tell her you're really not comfortable with them meeting and you find it to be disrespectful, because he's an ex.
      See what she will think about that.
      If she so much insists to still meet him then.. I guess you will know how much she values you and you can make your own decision

Most Helpful Guy

  • Fantastic run on sentence. One of the finest I've seen on GAG. I wrote more but it seemed cruel so I will just advise you to try and find a new girl closer to home.

    • well its easy to say that but what do you suggest i should say when i break up like this relationship is almost toxic why do you think i should leave and not stay and try to make it better

    • Again, I do not wish to be cruel. You seem to assume that there is a relationship left to salvage. He's there, she there, you're all alone? He only got in contact and she only accepted contact because he wants to help her with her studies? Your wall of text and lack of punctuation was very difficult to penetrate but I did try. Perhaps I'm simply not understanding the situation.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She sounds very toxic. Let her know where you stand, gently but firmly. If she truly wants your relationship, she'll listen to you. I'm sorry, she just sounds very childish but also experienced in controlling others.

    • yes i feel like what she says sometimes is petty. I will let her know but what do you suggest me to do or say to her right now.

    • Show All
    • great advice thank you

    • You're welcome.

What Guys Said 1

  • End it and find someone closer.

    • do you think i should do it when she comes back? or through voice chat

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    • I would do it asap

    • True. I feel like i can wait this time because for me time passes by pretty fast and hey face to face is better am i right? anyway its gonna be such a shame to end a relationship with so many good memories its gonna get hard for me to get over it becasue its my first

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