Guys: would you rather the girl make the first move?

When you’re interested in a girl, do you make the first move or do you wait for her to?

Follow-up question: if a first date goes well do you wait for her to ask for another or do you ask her?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yes. Had that happen recently. Girl literally did a little dance, got on her knees and said, "You can be the cheese, and I'll be your noodle!" Won me instantly.

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    • Kinda reminds me how I got my current boyfriend 😂

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    • We aren't. Something bad happened. I think about her constantly. Even dream at night about how much I miss her. I'm trying to look at the positives. I got kisses from the most beautiful girl in the world. We had fun together.

    • Oh I’m sorry... I’ve been in hat position I know it’s hard

  • Wow in this day and age where you can be busted for sexual assault or harasment for the slightest of faux pas it is nice to have the woman sometimes make the first move. Heck I myself love aggressive women I think it's sexy as all hell. Then again I love women with their own opinions even if they totally conflict with mine just so long as she is not a bitch about it. Then again I am in the minority among my friends

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    • I understand that, most women are very stand offish against men, but also won’t make the effort to make a move

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think most guys would prefer to know you are safe to persue. Many would be incredibly flattered and some turned on to be approached. If you like him just do it :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 96

  • I have no problem with a girl making the first move with me, but honestly in our societies if a guy really likes a girl he will make the first move anyway. It doesn't matter if he is shy or nervous, for a girl he really likes he will ask her out. If a girl has to ask a guy out, I would take it as a bad sign.

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    • I dunno if I agree with what u said about "if a guy who is shy or nervous, it doesn't matter he will still ask her out if he really likes her"

      I've been shy and nervous all my life and also had plenty of crushes.. but not 1 girl have I ever made a move on

    • @Apathetic-Warewolf That was true of me too until it wasn't. I was about your age when I first asked out a girl properly while sober. If you really want something, you'll find a way. If you won't push yourself out of your shell, it doesn't mean enough to you...

    • Oh... I must not want any girl enough then lol

  • No, we love to chase girls even if it breaks our heart sometimes. A girl making herself available easily will make the challenge less attractive as the guy's ego might blow and will make him rethink the whole thing. But if the girl is interested they should definitely give some hints to the guy so that he can gather the courage to make a move.

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  • Obviously it would feel nice to have a woman express interest. It’s definitely different, puts the ball in my court. Unfortunately, when I have been approached by girls, they aren’t women that I’m interested in, and turning them down without hurting their feelings is difficult, plus it makes me feel like an asshole. So if I was into her and really thinking about asking her out, yeah, but I feel like attractive women don’t need to approach, and generally won’t.

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  • Same question: girl make the first move.
    Same answer: yes it is good and wr like it.
    Same respond: girls never gonna do it anyway.

    So why asking endlessly.

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  • Depends on the male your trying to go for. If he has little to no experience with females then likely you will have to move first to start it up. but if he has the experience and confidence then likely he will move first.

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  • The guy might be afraid of rejection. If the gal asks, then SHE is assuming the risk of rejection. Good for the guy, but now the gal is saddled with the possibility of rejection. A catch-22 at it's worst. So, it''s up to either party to make the first move, but please, let SOMEONE do it, OK, and get the proverbial party started?

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  • im a Cancerian, so we do prefer girls to make 1st real move to know where stand & that you serious, cancerians also really sensitive so do take rejection way harder then others, it can depend on the girl by how she acts with & around, if you try flirt others to make jelious we would see you as manipulative & lose interest, if you just shy we still need some sign from you to know it worth the try vs hurt, if you make obvious then we can make 1st move if need too

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  • Answer to the title: YES.
    Answer to the first question: I have to be sure, so it takes awhile to make the first move. Waiting still hasn't gotten me anywhere, to my dismay.

    Can't answer the last one... I've never gone on a date. But if I think it went well, then yeah I would ask her for another date.

    But to reiterate, I fully welcome her to beat me to the punch.

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  • Honestly I'd prefer they approach me if I'm interested. If I'm not interested then it's hard because like if I say yes then I could still maybe get some. Though it's no safer if I ask a girl she may want physical or material things so she says yes. At the end of the day neither matters because they're equally flawed.

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  • Define "the first move". What exactly are we talking about here? First to make eye contact? First to smile? First to approach? First to ask the other person out?

    I don't really care who approaches first. I just need two things to approach; an opportunity and a reason. Unfortunately I have no reason to approach a girl I don't know and girls these days are so closed off with the phones and ear buds that they don't really give guys opportunities.

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  • It would be nice to be the one pursued for once, because it's assurance that she is interested, in and of itself. However, the "types" of girls that I'm typically attracted to (introverted, namely) would very rarely initiate.

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  • Well.. no girl has ever paid any intrest in me so I'd be delighted and over the moon if a girl made some kind of move on me

    PS: I will never make any kind of move on any girl since I'm ugly as fuck and shy

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  • I usually do because a lot of the time, the girl I'm interested in happens to be shy as well. However, if she would want to I'd love it if she did. Finally, I think I would just cause I'd love to spend more time and my schedule is kinda packed so would need to arrange it well ahead of time. But if she wants to go first that's great too!

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  • If she has an interest in me I would have no problem with her making the first move. A lot of the time men don't even realize a woman is into him until someone tells him so that would speed things up in many cases.

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  • Jesus, I am a humongous coward when it comes to women. I never have luck when it comes to ladies, it's probably because of me being slightly overweight but every time I've asked a girl out I was rejected, so I never really ask anyone out any more. Though if they asked me out, I'd eagerly accept

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  • Girl ask first is nice that gives an easy and obvious way of letting the guy know you are interested in him. As to asking for seconded at least let them know you enjoyed the first date and give a very obvious hint that you want a second don't play game that is annoying.

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  • I never liked the stereotype that the man needs to make the first move, because, though men usually do it, not everyone is the same. Some men are more shy than others, or maybe, a girl noticed him before he noticed her, and then, if the woman doesn't make the first move, it could lead to a missed opportunity. So I believe that woman shouldn't shy away from the prospect of making the first move if they are really interested.

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  • I would prefer if the woman made the first move, I'm an introvert so stumping up the courage to ask a woman out takes a lot of effort.
    If she asked me out then it would ease the whole process for both of us

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  • Lol in this era might be safer to avoid being a perv or a pedo or a predator or whatever else you could be called and even to avoid rejection if that's a concern of yours

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  • Women should make the first move to ask them out and to initiate some things for the first time that way the guy won't risk getting accused of sexual harassment these days.

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What Girls Said 7

  • My boyfriend told me no, because he likes to take the lead and me leading from the beginning would become a habit and it would be his fault because he allowed it to happen much. He doesn't mind when I initiate some stuff but overall he wants to do all that.

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  • Guys would make a move if they're truly interested. Guys say that they'd like a girl to make first move, but it never ends well.

    We like it or not, guys are the ones to make move and they're conditioned by society to be that way. Girls are conditioned to be approached. So if a guy doesn't make any move, it clearly means he is not interested. As simple as that.

    Guys make a move on a girl they consider out of league all the time, if they're attracted to her.

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    • i agree with 90%. but as i get older i find several men do not kiss on a first date and still persue you and are into you, simply because they are trying ro act and come off as a gentleman. this doesn't mean they won't kiss you the next date and make the first move. but it does mean they can like you and not "make a move" on date one.

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    • I dunno.. there have been many gurls who I have had major crush on and was super attracted too.. but still did not make any move... it didn't mean I was intrested in her... it jus means I think I'm ugly and not worthy of her

    • Wasn't intrested*

  • Guys say they like when a girl makes the first move, but hinesrly it never worked well foe me. I had guys who seemed shy, yet interested in me, so I decided to strike a conversation with them. Though we became friends they lost interest...

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    • Are you sure they lost intrest or was jus too shy to show that they were still intrested?

    • It is only 1 guy to me that was shy. It changed from always being around me, liking and reacting with wow to my pics, making flirty jokes to "you're not my type", "x girl is prettier than you"( in my opinion she wasn't...). And i got along with him more than I do with my girlfriends. We used to talk on a daily basis...

    • Oh... hmmm... weird... if it was me I would never lose intrest

  • i feel like most guys would like to know they are safe to go after the girl and that she was keen so they dont get rejected.

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  • Noooo don't make us do ittttt :(

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  • Guys here will say it's okay but so far in real life it never works out when a girl approaches the guy instead of the other way around.

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    • Asking a guy out once in a blue moon and getting rejected doesn't really count. Most guys if they are interested in you will say yes. Guys get reject way more than women do, they just keep doing it and eventually one will say yes.

    • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-shrug(d).gif

      @nathanp97 I would say it does count but obviously just needs to approach more guys.

      Interesting that many girls think that because they are the ones who approach first they shouldn't expect rejection. That's a bit silly isn't it?

    • I agree with you, mysterious pink anon

  • I feel like things has changed and a lot of men do. I dated a guy who was like this. He always wanted me to initiate

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