Do you trust your intuition in relationships or wait for solid proof something is amiss?

How good is your intuition in relationships?
Is it something you’d be willing to base your choices on, in the absence of something more tangiable or do you need to have definite evidence of wrong doing even if your partner isn’t forthcoming with the facts before taking action?

Do you trust your intuition in relationships or wait for solid proof something is amiss?
  • I trust my intuition and would act based on it and my suspicions alone
    Vote A
  • I trust my intuition but would wait for something to back up my feelings
    Vote B
  • I don’t listen to my intuition and feel it’s better to wait for proof or for them to come clean
    Vote C
  • I don’t have intuition
    Vote D
  • Other
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Guys

  • For years whenever something of mine would go missing I would default to the idea that someone must have moved or taken it. I might even ask people outright where they moved it or why they took it. Almost invariably I would end up with egg on my face when I discovered that I had simply misplaced it.

    These days if something is missing I default to "what did I do with it" and if I ask anyone anything regarding it it's more like "did you see me holding X? and do you know where I may have left it?"

    It took years to work past this very base level of distrust and to realize that my motor memory fails me a lot more often than people do. My point here is that intuitive inclinations are not to be trusted. That one should strive to have dominion over their tendencies to jump to the worst possible conclusion as their first idea of what's going on.

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    • But yours have been proven to be incorrect - what of those who have had positive experiences with theirs? Why would they assume their intuition has failed them if it’s been right?

    • A fair point... I've known others who think they have really good intuition. But still do what I'm talking about here, never having learned the lesson that I finally did. I think people assess their own intuition to be better than it actually is. That's the point here really. That even if one thinks they have good intuition (obviously I thought I had for many years). It's still entirely possible that it's a practice in self deception. That they are forgetting negative results and only recalling the positive results.

      We can't even exactly pin down what intuition is or where precisely it resides (much like consciousness). Though it might be something like the proclivity to unconsciously assess variables and probability. But ultimately an action based on intuition is just a guess. I believe that a best course of action with intuition is inaction. To curtail one's want to make a move on their gut feeling and wait for the facts to roll in.

    • Basically I treat it as I think it should be regarded. As an early warning system. Something that puts me on alert and tells me to pay more conscious attention. It should cause one to inspect the barn more closely. Not burn the barn down because they are suspicious of it. When people say trust your intuition. I think what they are really saying is act on your gut without thinking and let the facts prove you right or wrong later (whether they realize that's what they're saying or not). And that seems like terrible advise to me.

  • I trusted my intuition for a good while as it kept misfiring until the worst break up, and then I learned to distrust it with all my might. :-D I'm not saying I do a perfect job of distrusting my intuitions, but I at least learned to put in an effort.

    That comes to distrusting my intuitions both ways -- intuitions that are favorable towards the person as well as intuitions that are not. Though my tendency was to see the person in too favorable of a light.

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    • I'd say my intuitions are generally awful. I started off really bad in Poker, for example, since I was going by my intuitions rather than factoring in wider hand ranges and pot equity. When I started taking a more logical and mathematical approach to the game while distrusting my intuitions, I started to do so, so, so much better.

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    • Though I think Poker really offers a lot of insight. There are intuitive and old school poker players who are great, but they are not doing anything different from the new school kind of mathematical players except that the instinctive players are doing this all very subconsciously. They picked up things like deducing hand ranges without making it a formal and rather scientific process. I always needed to turn something into more of a formal process in order to start accurately assigning the probabilities to each possible outcome that might occur given some imperfect information.

    • >> Maybe your intuition is faulty and going against it is actually going with it

      That's going to lead me down a recursive mental loop! Like my intuition realizes my intuition is faulty and is intuitively seeking to rectify it. :-D It hurts my brain to think about this.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I used to trust my intuition until I got cheated on. My intuition told me something was off but he kept lying saying it’s all in my head and I’m insecure etc. by the time the truth really came out he was long gone with no explanation. So I felt dumb for a long time for not trusting myself. I’m learning to trust my intuition again. But now I’m always trying to figure out is it my intuition or my insecurities. It’s a constant battle. I’m getting better though.

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    • So you don’t trust it more now knowing you were right the first time?

    • Well now I don't know if it’s my intuition or my insecurities from being cheated on. It’s kind of like I look at my new boyfriend like yeah you’re probably lying. Which isn’t fair to him.

  • I'm one who always gives a person the benifit of the doubt unless I know some history about the person to where he/she has dirt on them. So unless I'm able to find dirt within the situation, I tend to not go overboard on just instincts alone as my "instincts" can cause me to become paranoid with trust issues.

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    • I think you’ve hit it there - finding the line between allowing intuition to guide you and letting paranoia take over

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 66

  • When you know you know , its just a matter of getting enough information to make an assessment about the problem. Maybe there being secretive cause there trying to surprise you with a gift and they know you can sniff one a mile away. That's how the wife is for me you can get one past her to save your own life. she will ask and look though emails just know.

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    • It’s sad though if you can’t even get away with a nice surprise

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    • Don’t we usually get worse in marriage, not better haha

    • OMG.. I just typed this huge life story and realized you don't want to hear that hahah
      But yes most get worse. . Who knows what will happen next . looking forward for the best outcome

  • Very good but without proof the other side can easily find escape from saying the truth. I am very tolerant guy and I will do serious moves only when I confirm my suspicions. There is one thing I always say to my friends and girlfriends:"The reason why lies exist is to be discovered. That's their purpos! And they always do get discovered no matter what".

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    • If you’re willing to follow your intuition does the other person need to admit the truth though?

    • That would be nice and it would ease a lot of things. But in real life situations people usually continue to lie unless they are cornered with the proof or fact. Because if they continue lying after that at least you are sure that they are lying and you can show them where the doors are.

  • I think what happens for a lot of people is they get a red flag from their intuition but are afraid to follow through on it then the proof comes up and its "If only I listened to my guy" - How many times do you hear "I stayed in a dead relationship far too long" , "I didn't know they were cheating" (and it was totally obvious), "They might change"

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  • You need to have experience with relationships and occasions where your intuition is tested before you can learn to trust it.

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    • Do you trust yours?

    • Yes. I left a two year relationship in May, 2017 because of my intuition and it was difficult but it was the right thing to do.

  • I think it's good to have a balance of both, you don't want to jump the gun but you don't want to wait until it's too late either, but always try to back up an intuition with proof

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  • Some women can be very good at hiding things. But I always wait for solid proof. If you show you trust them and they are seeing someone else, eventually they let their guard down and screw up. If you show you don't trust her completely then she'll always be on guard and it almost becomes impossible to find that proof.

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  • I used to trust my intuition until i was cheated on and was in a relationship with someone that had mental illness , probably the hardest relationship i ever faced so i kind of hold walls up cuz i realized most people hold dark secrets and take advantage of people pretty much most people r selfish and only really care about themselves so for me to gain trust in someone it takes a long time and solid proof, what helped me is looking at love from a different side basically realizing love is only guided not forced you can only love someone the way you want to be loved , if they walk away then let them go you aren't a punching bag and werent put here to live unhappy , Negativity is all around us so its best to surround yourself with as much positive as you can , no one is perfect but for love to grow you can't be hurting inside if someone loves you they will stand by your side and not be selfish they will wear your shoes like you wear theirs , communication is the only thing that can really keep a relationship together if communication dies then so will the relationship. My opinion i feel the only relationships that will work R the ones that both people have a lot in common , not the ones that make you change cuz it's something new, meaning this person is great they make me laugh and they are attractive but we really dont have much in common in things but im curious cuz it's something new,. The problem is you will start missing the things you were really into so its best to look at the big picture before getting into a relationship , hope i made sense lol

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  • I trust, but my gut has never been wrong... however still with that being said... I always prefer to rely on pure evidence before I throw everything away and decide my next course
    but if the woman or any friends break my trust and is confirmed by their own actions etc then that IS over without any 3rd chances...

    also only in certain situations I will accept and offer a second chance but that gets broken then NEVER any more whatever they say...

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  • Gut decisions are only as good as how knowledgeable you are. Feelings are often a poor way to make decisions if you only have suspicions or only a portion of the information. You may be right about your boyfriend suspicions but feeling it is a long way from doing it.

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  • I trust mine but not to the extent I'll know exactly what is wrong. Generally I will talk to my partner and try to get to the bottom of it as usually its something less catastrophic than I can work myself up to think left to my own devices.

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  • I trust my intuition.
    Every time I think something is wrong in a realtionship I have always been right.

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  • I always knew something was different if something is actually different
    It’s never failed, it’s just if you are in tune with your surroundings really well you will always notice some type of change or energy/mood

    It can sometimes be the smallest thing ever. But if you pay attention you’ll always find something that makes you go huh, that’s odd and feels out of place

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  • intuition can be a crazy thing sometimes sensing something before it happens but i tend to observe more after my intuition. your intuition is ur gut which is a second brain. so its something to never ignore

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  • My intuition has been great in my last experience of dating a girl. But just cause you feel like something's coming doesn't mean you can change things. I tend to watch reactions and look at life choices. Dome are easy. Girl applies to school and starts pulling away ok she prob gonna leave and go to school. I like waiting until I'm sure with solid evidence. If you just stress and jump at everything you will do more damage to your relationship than anyone else.

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  • Personally i think i have a good sense whenever a relationship will last long or not, so yeah i do mostly trust my intuition

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  • I try to avoid relationships. They distract me in those negative ways. They distract me from myself cuz they're demanding... When their supposed to be supportive... People need to get outside of their minds and just try enjoying life. Sufferin from these thoughts hurts. The relationship isn't worth it if u are constantly suspicious or distrustful or unhappy or stressed about some doubt regarding your partner... U should have confidence in your partner. And yes trust.

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  • I feel if feel like something is amiss you should Bring it up. You either accept it or its over. If they say they aren't cheating or whatever and you still feel like they are hiding something, you no longer trust that person. That alone will treat a relationship apart.

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  • I got an old saying that I've been using for a long time and its never failed me yet.
    Your head will play tricks on you.
    Your heart will fool you.
    But your stomach doesn't know how to lie to you follow your gut

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  • Sometimes you think you know everything about the person then something new always comes up. Or things you never knew comes out as well.

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  • unless married, accusations with lack of substantive evidence is a sure kill for the relationship.

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    • Why would being married make a difference? Unsubstantiated accusations at any marital status is a killer

    • concede that point.
      will add that those married or otherwise legally bound have much more to lose.

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What Girls Said 29

  • Gut feeling now proof when I was young

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  • Intuition is not a suspicion it’s the actual truth. You ever watch a scary movie and what you see is so obvious and because that person won’t separate themselves from trouble something bad ends up happening? That’s the same thing while dealing with someone who is toxic and most likely up to no good. You’re aware that something isn’t right but you continue to give them the benefit of the doubt and when the surprise pops up than it’s immediate heartbreak that could’ve been avoided.

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    • Perhaps, but sometimes intuition could also be tarnished by previous experiences trying to steer us in that direction again because it’s what we know

    • Fear and intuition are two different things but in order to tune in and understand the differences it takes patience, quiet time, and dissecting the situation without anyone else’s opinions interfering.

  • Sometimes we get suspicious or feel insecure because we want to be protective. Everyone fears losing their partners, but misunderstandings happen, and I'd rather put my intuitions on hold until something comes up rather than jeopardise a relationship that was otherwise really meant to be.

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  • I fully trust my gut feeling, if I feel something is wrong and I don't know what I will communicate that
    Until now no matter what the other person said my gut feeling was always right even tho to that time I didn't had the prove but with time it turned out I was right

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  • I trust my gut, and then dig for evidence so I can't be played for a fool. It's happened before where I found out I'd been lied to about something, confronted them, they lied again, only admitting to part of the story, so I snooped through his phone, told him again that I knew he was lying, then when he tried to lie again, I said 'you're lying again! I've seen the texts!' I would've believed him if I hadn't of seen the texts, and I'm not a stupid girl.

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  • I have trouble with intuition. I want to try why I see the good. Head says stop when I see bad. Don’t know what to follow. Mixed emotions

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  • I trust my intuition and LOOK for evidence that backs up my suspicions. As far as I've gone, I've found what I was looking for.

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  • I’m usually right when I felt something was wrong.
    Which sucks because one day I’ll actually be wrong and I’ll be too paranoid to believe him🙄

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  • It's always important to follow your gut, but you also don't want to jump into conclusions. I whether see if my intuition is right about this person, instead of interrogating and going crazy about it. It's like being patient for something to come forth, like the truth.

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  • I trust my intuition, but always wait for a proof - otherwise people don't believe me.

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  • My intuition is incredible. I won't be taking any action because to me, I need proof first, but I will share how I feel and see how he reacts. Behaviour reveals a lot more than you might think.

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  • I'm kinda reserved person... and I don't open up to people, easily... so I find it really difficult to follow my intuition... because I'm afraid that they can be wrong..!

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  • My intuition is usually right but I'd never go on that alone.

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  • I have good intuition and if I don't trust it, I get in big trouble. I can imagine it is like this for a lot of other people too. However I would wait for something to back up my feelings.

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  • The last relationship that I did have in college. i knew something wrong about to happen and it did. One of my ex-bf females went after him when we were together and he ends up cheating on me. I caught him & dumped his ass and move on.

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  • I dont like judging a person because of intuitions they can be deceiving because of the emotional attachment to it so i would wait for proof

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  • When I would suspect something I would ask my partner for an explanation of what I have seen, that has made me suspicious.

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  • I trust my intuition. If I’m too close it’s hard to see past any wrong feelings.

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  • I would always listen to the voice inside of me I know and trust my own instincts

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  • I trust my intuition or the circumstantial evidence around.

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