Red, big dark red flags. I think he is using me - help!

I think he is using me and that he stays with me until something else may appear. everything revealed to me on the new year's eve party, but maybe I'm just paranoid...(I hope I am)

I know this guy for about 5 months, and the "relationship" started really slow. I'm saying "relationship" cause I can't say we are together. anyway, in the first 3 months we have seen each other very rare, I think once or twice a month, then things started to get faster. we talked on the phone and on messenger more often and we started to see each other more and more.

3 weeks ago I had sex with him and starting then, we talked every single day. he was nice and he introduced me to his close friends. everything seemed to be fine till new year's eve. he invited me to a party with another couple of his close friends, but I got really mad there.

he changed some words with a girl there, then I think he started to search her with his sight, cause he was turning his head pretty much to the table where she was sitting. there were some of his friends too, but I am not stupid. my feeling told me he was looking after her...

after the party in the restaurant, we went to a cabin with this couple, very nice people, by the way, where we had a great time. he told me he felt amazing. we stayed there for 2 days and he was warm and nice and funny.

the problem is that today he didn't call me (we were back home yesterday), and that he added the girl from the party on his facebook. I have a strange feeling he is going to talk to her and that he will meet her. is just a feeling... I have no motif to say this. maybe I'm just jealous, a feeling that was foreign for me for the past few years.

she is living in another country, on another continent, but if my feeling is true, then this is a huge red flag for the "relationship" we started to develop.

am I paranoid? what should I do? I really like this guy...I would really need some help here.

in august 2009 he finished a relationship of 11 years and I thought I must be patient. I must admit is the first time when I took that decision concerning a man...


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  • That is kinda strange he did that, especially since he had just met her. Maybe she added him first? I don't know, bringing it up can cause a fight too and that's not what you want. But if you really want to know, maybe just watch what he does on fb. Gosh I would be frustrated...Maybe you can try to talk with him and maybe say it jokingly or lightly, not angrily..but say something like "oh I saw you added that foreign girl.." and then go from there.

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