So I was in a relationship with this girl for almost 4 months. We “broke up” but the following day she decided to “talk” so we made up and things where going smoothly. Until today.
Just a bit of back story. She lives with her sister and brother n law on the weekdays and with her mom and dad on the weekends. I always had a feeling that her brother n law had a thing for her given several signs. I even asked her and she partially admitted that my assumption was true. Anyways the first time I went to her sister’s house. The brother n law was there and he didn’t even say hello. Me personally, how I’ve been raised... that is not how you treat a guest. Especially when it’s the first time you meet them. My now ex claimed that he didn’t say hi because he was on the phone but I call bullshit cause it doesn’t take much time to tell the person to hang on, then greet the person and go back to the phone call.
Anyways after that I never felt welcomed at the house so I never came to the door. And apparently they talked a lot of shit cause of that.
Flash forward and we got in a pretty serious argument. In which I did some immature shit (yes I did apologize) we made up. But her brother n law was talking mad shit about me. And was also telling everyone and their grandma about me. To the point where her siblings began to know what happened. And it pissed me off that he did that. Because well I found of from her that he isn’t perfect. He cheats on his wife.
Anyways I’ll put up some of our final conversations and you guys n girls can choose to read it or not. But I just want some perspective. Am I the one that is right here?
Most Helpful Girls
I feel that with the time span that the both of you have been together, you've both jumped into things too deep with high expectations that the relationship would soar smoothly.
So her family isn't what you'd expect to be as a "polite and inviting one", everyone is raised differently. I personally wouldn't have taken such high offense towards them not greeting me, but taken more of a lead in showcasing myself in a better manner that I am someone who has taken an intrest in Marie and hope that in time they'll warm up to me as they see more of me. Especially with her mom and dad, what dad is truly comfortable with their daughter dating a new guy?
No family is perfect and though a family member may be in the wrong of a situation, I'm not one to judge and pinpoint/tear apart a family member who I dislike. So I somewhat get why Marie defends Joey and her sister, as it seems she's one who puts family first. Though first impression of them was sour, I would have reminded myself that ultimately I am intrested in the person whom I'm dating, not their family... they're secondary.
However, where I would have drawn the line is when Joey began to gossip and just expose crap. However, taken into consideration how first impressions were rocky, I somewhat see why he would open his mouth. But I do get why you'd be hurt that your girl didn't defend you as Joey ran his mouth. The guy seems like one heck of a case, down the road I'd get how he'd be an annoyance to tolerate. So perhaps it was all for the better that you called things off. Don't look into the past in thinking long and hard about all the heated situations. Go do you for awhile and find yourself a more grounded girl with less drama.
I think the lesson of this story is that just because someone is bad to do you does not mean that you should behave like them, especially not in the first chance.
Just because the family wasn't welcoming, that shouldn't have been taken too seriously because you should care about what goes on between you and your girlfriend the most. It's about doing the little things to make her happy. However, you didn't also give them the reason to like you. You didn't try to prove yourself them. You just disliked them since the first impression. So that's why you argued, it seems like you broke up because of other people.
Most Helpful Guy
I read these texts, You care more about what other people say and how they act then your girl! How could you put her through this kind of torture? Even if this guy has the hots for her - She can't control his feelings for her. You should be willing to deal with the people around her and be nice regardless of what you think - For her! A woman -- ANY WOMAN is more important than the people around her. - Now if she is your girlfriend, SHE should be the most important person to you - Even if you are crazy mad at her for failing you in any way. I was reading expecting to read that your girlfriend did something wrong - she didn't. You were more focused on this Joey person. If everyone around your girlfriend treats you like shit, that means nothing --- The only thing that matters is how your girlfriend treats you when the two of you are together. I respect your feelings, your beliefs, but when you have a girlfriend, she comes first over anyone. You walk her to a house --- FOR HER SAFETY. Because it is the correct thing for a man to do for his girlfriend. That says more about you. People may hate you for whatever reason - But they can still respect you as a man, and even if they don't - Your girlfriend will, and will feel cared about from you. You need to go to this girl and apologize to her and even if she slams the door in your face because she is so hurt by how you have treated her, You tell yourself that you deserved that - much more really. You may have certain core beliefs, but never care more about what people say or how they treat you over any girlfriend you ever have. I am not mad at what you have done to your girlfriend here, just deeply saddened for both of you. Especially her. she did nothing to deserve your hate. Maybe the people around her --- But not her. SHE is/was the most important person to you here, -- SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN! Please go to her and say you are sorry. Do this each day until she listens to you. She may not want you back. You may feel you do not want her as a girlfriend anymore. But you were so wrong to her. As a man, you need to let her know that you made her life a living hell and you were wrong - 100% wrong to her. Again, she was the important person to you - NOT anyone else. Perspective here is that you were wrong to her, and you hurt her feelings deeply! Please try and let her know that you mistreated her and you are sorry for treating her wrong.