Have you ever been in a LDR?


Have you ever been in a LDR?
If so, tell me about your experience, please. Did you meet in person or online? How much distance was between you to (phisically in km or miles but more interesting in time and transport)? If you met in person, how many time were you together before the LDR? How much did the LDR lasted? Did your LDR ended because you brokeup or because the period of LDR ended and could be together again? What was the main reason of the breakuo if you brokeuo during a LDR? For those who went successfully through a LDR, what kind of things did you do to help the relationship to keep alive?

For anyone, in which conditions you feel a LDR is possible to work well? You think it works better if they met each other in person or online? What do you believe is too much time to wait to be together? About distance, can a distance be too much? In affirmative case, when you consider that there's too much distance?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • i was in two
    1. we started dating in high school. went to colleges in different states. we still saw each other at least once a month since we were only about 150 miles apart. we kept in touch almost daily either via phone or internet. when we saw each other we just tried to do extra special things that really focused on us being together
    2. in college i dated a girl for nearly 2 years. we were together abotu 8 months when she went to study abroad in australia for 5 months. this was very difficult because communication was hard since we were on different sides of the globe

    i think LDR work best when the relationship starts out normally and becomes temporarily LDR or the distance isn't so great that you can't see each other fairly reguarly

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  • I was once in a long-distance relationship. We actually met and started dating in college. She was a freshman and I was a senior; and our relationship became long distance when I graduated.
    When we became long-distance, we were an hour away (driving time) from each other, which isn't too bad actually, except I didn't have a car until later on and she was afraid to drive the distance, especially over bridges. As you can imagine, the sudden transition from seeing each other daily to monthly was horrible. Skype helped to an extent. We'd Skype almost every night. And when we did finally meet up in person and we finally got to embrace and kiss each other after so long, it was almost magical.
    That was until one week when she just started to lose interest in me. I'm still not entirely sure why but I think it had to me going into a sort of depression ever since I graduated. (I mean, I became physically distant from my closest friends including her, I struggled to find work and I even had a death in the family, so can you blame me?) Anyway after this visit, I went home and she broke up with me over Skype.
    This was almost two years ago and I've been single since.

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    • Hopefully I answered everything I needed to because admittedly I got carried away in my story.

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    • Thank you 😊

    • Not a problem at all! Hopefully this helps.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes, I even had two of these in the past, 2 and 2,5 years (not at the same time, obviously). With both we met online, in a browsergame and a mmorpg but met in person before proceeding anywhere further.
    They lived 450-500km away from me (about 4-5 hours via fast train, 8-9 hours if using cheeper slow ones), so due to neither of us having a lot of money we've only been able to meet once every 2-3 months for 1-2 weeks each time.
    While neither of both relationships broke specifically due to the distance a lot of problems we had would have been easier to solve if we were able to see each other spontaneously.

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  • Yep, my current relationship began as a LDR.

    I met him off tinder start of 2017 in my home town. I knew I was leaving in a few months to move states 2000km away for uni so it began as tinder relationships generally do. We hit it off almost immediately and leaving was hard. The good thing was he was only in my hometown for a year (work contract) and he actually was from a city an hour from where I was moving to. We committed to making it work for the rest of the year.

    We communicated maybe 3 times a week while I was gone. I flew home every six weeks or so and he flew up once to see me. In the 9 months we were apart we saw each other maybe 6 times.

    He moved up close to me at the start of 2018. We’ve been together since and our relationship is as strong as ever.

    It was hard, but we were lucky. I don’t think we are the norm when it comes to LDR. It was just fortunate our distance had an end point, or it likely would’ve gone as the majority of long distance relationships do.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 24

  • I was in a long distance relationship 6 years ago. We met through a gaming app on Facebook. It went really well for the first year. We talked on the phone consistently throughout that time. We even played video games together on PS2 such as Little Big Planet. I enjoyed every conversation and never got bored.

    However, after she visited for the first time it became a lot harder. And I am noticing the same trend in the comments by other people. Once you have that taste of physicality it damages the long distance relationship when you have to part ways and go back to the regular routine. It is a double edged sword because obviously you want to be physical with them eventually but, when you do, if it isn't permanent, the long distance aspect becomes a reality.

    So, after approaching our second year, things worsened; we had to break it off due to lots of fighting and tension. We argued almost every day at that point. I changed emotionally and spiritually and so did she. It happens quite often in long distance relationships.

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    • Incidentally, I too was in an LDR 6 years ago (2013), though we met on a poetry site, & communicated through phone & Facebook for about a year. Over time, I learned that she was slightly too troubled for my liking & things got tense the more we discussed it. So by 2014, it was over. I became friends with 1 or 2 of her girls during that time who I still talk to occasionally, just not her anymore. We never did get to meet in person (she was in Manchester)

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    • @StephenCF Because you never met in person I think it was much easier to move on. I talked to a few girls in the past from various cities but never ended up meeting them in person so I don't count them as true "relationships". We only talked for a few weeks or months so it wasn't anything significant for me and therefore shrugged it off.

    • @InTimoreDei This Manc girl was my first experience in being “loved”, so I was too easily caught up in what was never meant to be. It should be the last too since I’ve lost all faith in LDR’s since that disaster. Too much sexual frustration when you can’t be involved with them physically. I’ve learned, in relationships, everything should be easily accessible, or have no relationship at all in that regard

  • Yes.
    Met online.
    400 km by the road. 7 hour travel. And I see only km as valid unit. That other shit is middle-ages crap nobody should use, ever. If used, that person should be put to death.
    Stats: 15 months together, 12 months distant, 3 months close, 17 "meetings". Not met before official declaration of relationship.
    Eeeh, no. Ending is beyond complicated.
    To this I say: never again.

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    • Thank you for your answer. About the unit of measurement I prefer the international system's too, but I'm not going to kill anyone if they use the English system, it's fine, many people here are from US or UK and is what they have been taught 🤷

    • 7d

      No, no, no. Listen. It's not English system. It's imperial system, and on the internet it's called retarded system. Why retarded? Just look at the conversion charts between different units for the same property in that system. It's just retarded. Yeah, internet is honest and not fucks around.
      SI is what? International. That's right. Meaning, it's not us, using SI, who have to adapt. It's others, who don't use it. Those have to adapt. So if some are form US or UK…well, guess what. :-D They're in minority. They're the ones who should switch to system, which actually makes sense, because a lot of very smart people spend a lot of time to tweaking definition of those units.

  • They rarely work out. You really have to have a good connection with them and communicate is even more important than in a normal relationship.

    Also, there needs to be a goal to meet up, you know? If you know you’re gonna meet up and spend physical time with the person you’ve grown to know and love, it can be easier

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  • I’m currently at one month in my first one and it’s going well so far, but it’s too early to tell if it’ll last.

    I met her during a trip to New York, we had an amazing connection and we thought why not just try it and we did. We live in cities 5 hours apart.

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  • In one right now

    It's unique, it's special
    It's like nothing else, not like real life too

    I'd say I'm just lucky, so I'm not sure if to recommend it to someone or not
    It's only for a select few number of people

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  • First one met her IRL, two years together, 8000km apart. I ended it because she was an unfaithful jealous and hypocrite bitch.
    Second one met her IRL too, 1year together, 10.000km apart. We made it back.

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  • I've been in one for the past 7 months and overall its been great. She used to live in South Africa which was about a 22hr flight from my house, but she recently moved to the UK with her parents so now she's only about an 8hr flight away. We met online almost a year ago today and for her birthday this year I will be spending 2 weeks in the UK to see her, take her on some REAL dates and show her I really am the man I say I am.

    I happen to have a pretty good job so spending the 10k to see her is well worth it to me. I've gotten a lot of shit from my friends for spending that much on a girl, especially when I'm going over there not expecting to have sex with her either. I said I'm not opposed to it, but its not my goal... not for our first time meeting in person at least.

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  • Well I have to be honest with you I never been in one but I'm open to it if the right person comes along

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  • It doesn't end well I had 3 long distance relationship it's no good in keeping long distance relationship

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  • I think I'm in one now, but I honestly can't tell sometimes.

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  • Yes I've been both need to willing otherwise itll fail. Out of experience

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  • No, I haven't and have no intentions of being in one either

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  • I master bate enough as it is. Not admiring this idea at all.

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  • Yeah. Never met them. I didn't like not being able to have physical affection

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  • I've been, 2 times. 2 disasters.
    Both asked me to come to see them. First one cheated on me as soon as I went to see you and left me alone outside for 3 days in the middle of January, while she was getting fucked by her ex.
    Second was even better, she cheated on me since the beginning, while I was working my ass off to get the money to see her.

    Can a LDR work? I've seen only 2 work, and one of them broke after some time.
    LDR are a fucking trap, most of the time you'll end up broken. If you can avoid it, do it.

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  • No...

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    • Do you have any opinion in spite of the lack of any experience in LDR? 🤔

    • I had a chance, but for me it's difficult, especially with my abandonment issues.

  • I’ve been in 4. I met all of them except one.

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  • Never was and never will be

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  • Nope, don't believe in them

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  • 1.5 times

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  • I am in one now. and it sucks.

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  • I'm in one right now

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  • Yes I have and it worked out perfectly

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  • Yea she lived a couple of countries away we used to play one game together talk on snapchat until we sleep. Then one day she left like nothing happened..

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What Girls Said 9

  • Yes, Twice I'll speak about my most recent.

    I was with someone named Lucan, we met online but videocalled everyday and then got into a relationship. It was very very good we found ways to watch movies, share our experiences as much together as possible to keep It thriving and going.

    We lasted about 12 months, our families knew and everything very very real. We tried to keep It that way but sadly, because of my age It didn't last.

    He would buy me a necklace or something you know to make it more "real" so I had a piece of him at all times, but Im 15, I can't travel the world to meet him to regrow that passion that was at the start, It gets so tiring not being able to hold your partner or have them when you need them and It's really sad. Because If It was in real It would work for sure.

    But things get In the way like work and school, one or the other feels left out and It's really sad, they're very fun and benefical but I don't believe they can last unless you're both 18 and have a lot of spare time and a bit of money to one day meet up.

    Can't stress enough how much me and him tried by watching movies, facetiming while shopping so he could choose an outfit, or calling during Christmas and him showing me what he did and me the same, or playing games together to be as close as possible. But most of the times It doesn't last even if the loves there and really strong, the distance really sucks.

    He used to hate It when I would have breakdowns and he couldnt comfort me, or go out with me take me somewhere, etc.

    In the end we decided to stay as friends, but I do believe as I dont want to put your hopes down because I do really believe this, If you're both 18 and have money, your parents are accepting like ours were It can work you need to meet up at some point I belive Its crucial It will add a ton of fuel to the fire If you meet, he's met you, felt you, you've experienced things together you know like It should be.

    Sadly If you don't have that, It's very hard and stresses the both of you out a lot.

    I've stopped dating online now, as It's very hurtful when you breakup because you know how you get thinking when things are over, any irl relationship will top what we had, since she's there. I was never there. And it really hits deep.

    But maybe try it for yourself, it could work as I said. 18, bit of money, acceptance from family.

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  • Long rant here so bare with me:

    Yes, I have done ldrs twice:
    One was about 4-5 hours away, but we were in the same state. It lasted a while; I honestly don't remember the timeframes... a year-ish maybe?

    It ended because we outgrew each other. We met in person while we were in college together through a mutual friend, so it did not become a ldr until he graduated before I did and moved away.

    The second ldr was my last and worse!
    I met him online on a messenger program. After about 6 months of constant talking and getting to know each other, we met in person. Now we lived 6-8 hours away and across the country from each other, so we only met once. We mostly communicated via phone and yahoo messenger as this was before smartphones and all these apps (yeah, it's been a while, lol).

    I actually fell for him after meeting him in person, whereas he fell for me online and after seeing my picture.
    However, after meeting me in person, he changed. He became distant, not as sappy... even tried to set me up with his best friend! 😂 That was my red flag- along with him cheating on me with another woman!

    But yeah I've had ldrs and met people from even outside the country, like Australia and England! But nothing long lasting.

    They are definitely doable, and I'd do one again- with the right guy.
    But they definitely require lots of communication, visits, loyalty and fidelity on BOTH parts, and patience.

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  • I am in one and am back for winter break. Every break I get from college in Virginia, I get to come home and see my boyfriend in MD. It’s not too too bad. The school is six hours away, but it could be worse.

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  • No. LDRs are not for me. I have to be able to see you when I want and touch you when I want. I don’t want to sit up and look at my man through a screen.

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  • Been in an LDR before and it lasted for about almost 2 months. He was in the US and I'm somewhere in Asia at the time. We met online and only were able to talk via Skype. I broke up the relationship mostly because the conversations were getting boring and repetitive. He was a great guy tbh but I just wasn't in the mood for a serious relationship.

    I think an LDR would work better if the couple would meet at least a few times in person just to see how they act IRL vs online because people have a tendency to hide their real selves online or at least become the person they think other people would like better.

    Is this for a study or just plain curiosity?

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    • Not a study for sure, I wanted to get a general idea of different LDRs and learn from some other people experiences

  • I was in one with a guy I met here and it destroyed my life

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  • I am currently in a ldr, we met in May last year in Mykonos. After 5 amazing days together I came back to Uk and he stayed working there until season finished. I wasn’t expecting anything anything he kept in contact with me everyday for 4 months and in August came to visit me. One week after he left I booked tickets to spend NYE with him in Athens, was very nice he asked me to be his girlfriend and I can’t wait for February when we meet again (he’s coming to London) Our relationship is much better now that we made it official. Communication and trust is very important and every time you together you need to be sure When/How/where next time you see each other again

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  • Yes and it never works for me

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  • Once but didn’t last she would come every summer. But she found a b/f local to her.

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