If your significant other had a dating app on their phone, would it bother you?

I found a dating app on my boyfriend's phone. He tells me it's nothing and he has to pay to even talk to girls, and he hasn't paid. But it buggs me. It really bothers me. What should I do? I've confronted him twice and the second time he got mad at me. I don't know what to do.
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Updates:
I should have included this info in my initial post but... He was the one who brought up the app. He jokingly brought up that he has this dating app on his phone. I wasn't sure why but he did and when he found out that it bothers me, he offered to delete it. But I said no, because I didn't want him to do something that he didn't want to do on his own free will. If he were to delete it, I wanted him to do it because he wanted to...
5d
We had a very long talk and fought about this for weeks. He says it wouldn't bother him if I had a dating app so if I'm not okay with it, it means I don't trust him as he does with me. At the end, I guess he understood why I wanted it gone. So he deleted it. Thanks guys.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I voted A but If something really bothers you, and he offers to rectify it, why fight that and choose to be continually bothered by it?
    I can see why he would get mad if you bring it up after he said he’d delete.

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    • That is true... I should have been honest... I wanted him to do it for me and not do it because he was told to do so.

    • Regardless of who’s idea it was to delete, if he’s willing, you can put it in the past and resume your relationship.

  • It’s either you or the app. So he either deletes it or your delete him.

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    • He did offer to delete it. But I told him I don't want him to do anything he doesn't want to do.

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    • Yes, you are right... but apparently his friends who are in relationships have dating apps on their phones. And apparently because he can't use the app, it makes it okay for him to have it...

    • I had a pretty big freak out about a week ago and we haven't seen each other since so he might have already deleted it...

Most Helpful Guy

  • Your first mistake was refusing his offer to delete it.

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    • 7d

      Now he thinks it’s okay and might use it (he is already using it to cheat on u)

    • 7d

      He use it to say "but you said you were fine with it"

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What Girls & Guys Said

1624
  • not unless we were very serious or it wasn't part of our relationship dynamic... or if she used it behind my back and lied about it then i would have a problem and would need to sit down and talk about

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    • He was the one who jokingly brought it up. He told me about the app so he wasn't trying to hide it.

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    • He initially downloaded the app so his female friend can see what it looks like from the male side...

    • ah ok but then once he showed her then it no longer serves a purpose, so my question would be why would he need it, if he can't contact anyone then it's pointless for using as a networking for new friends purpose... but for the other purpose to purely an instructional or show case view point it doesn't make much sense keeping once he has shown his friend, plus there are plenty other apps which do the same job but do it better so as an example he could have shown her one of those then deleted once achieved what he set out to do

  • The question is why would someone who is satisfied with their relationship have a dating app on their phone.
    The answer is they wouldn't.
    I think him having this app is a huge red flag for you.
    He either wants to have options available if you guys split or he has/will cheat on you.
    How long have you two been in a relationship?

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  • yes. if you are in a relationship why would you have an app on your phone that provides potential other dating options. basically it seems that your boyfriend is keeping his options open. that would be a 100% no no in my relationship

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  • I'd take that as no good. I'd want to throttle him lol. If you're happy and content in a relationship, why do you even bother keeping a dating app on your phone? Makes no sense.

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  • Dump him. He can say he’s deleted it but can install it anytime he wants honestly. It may not he in that phone too. He’s keeping his options open. And he’s jokingly opened it up coz he feels defensive about it already and he wants to lessen his guilt.

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    • 7d

      The offer for deleting is not what he wants but it’s more of like offering something but he knows you're gonna answer it’s okay keep it coz he knows you so he had the balls to ask it to make it look like it’s no big deal for him.

    • 7d

      If cares about you, he knew you’d be bothered he shouldn't have installed it in the first place. What an insensitive person he is.

  • As the partner in the relationship it is up to you to bring up your feelings with him, just tell him that it's in the back of your mind and it's bothering you and you would like for him to delete it... nothing wrong with that

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  • I'd be pissed, absolutely fucking livid. If I'm in a relationship it's monogamous, and if that is a problem then the relationship ends.

    The douchebag is trolling for cum dumpsters.

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  • I'm sure it'll bother them more
    after I walked out and haven't
    answered their calls in days.
    😏

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  • Yes, you should be wary.

    They are called dating apps for a reason.

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    • 5d

      Update 1: I’ll give you an update since I’m late to your update.

      You already set the precedent that the app is okay, all you can do is communicate your feelings.

      Update 2:According to your update as of three hours ago. You aren’t comfortable with this situation. It’s leaving you feeling insecure; he is leaving you feeling insecure. You’ve argued about it. Don’t give him the ultimatum. Just leave. The moment you give the ultimatum for a situation you previously allowed is the moment it becomes toxic.

      He probably has cheated on you prior and is using it to meet women and stroke his ego.

      The moment he said he wouldn’t mind if you had one too was the moment where he implied he doesn’t care who you talk to.

      If a person loves you. We care who you talk to, because we know guys, much like you know girls. Trust me, most men would be hurt by the thought unless they were doing it too.

      People get hurt by emotionally infidelity.

      Anyway, you should think hard about this. I’d personally let him go as this is a matter of trust and respect. I; however, know this is much easier said than done.

  • Well you only need to delete them when you're stable relationship. If it's been a while since you started dating then he shouldn't have them. Otherwise not an issue

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  • Nah, i probably have a look with her and see if we could find any cool people or total nut jobs :)

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  • If it's nothing, then he will have no problem if you ask him to get rid of it!!

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  • If i had a girlfriend it would bother me if she had a dating app
    on her phone yes you need to speak up and tell him how you
    feel about things.

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  • Yes and anyone that says different is telling porkys

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  • I'm not super human or that naïve so of course it would bother me. People that are happy and contented in their relationships don't need access to such things.

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  • If it's nothing he shouldn't have it. He's just saving all the contacts in case you two break up.

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  • It would be, and if I was you I’d also download a dating up and find a better man there

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  • Not really , sometimes those things get downloaded to play games etc.

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  • Only single people need a dating app, so yes it would bother me.

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  • I wouldn't go looking at my S/O's phone in the first place. Neither should you have.

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  • This is a short term relationship right? Because he thinks it is.

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  • Yes because why does he still have it after we have been together for so long

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  • yea, that thing is gone!!

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  • Dump him lol

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  • It's his backup plan. What's yours?

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    • 4d

      "... and fought about this for weeks."
      THIS is a GIANT fail. Any woman who fights about anything for days, let alone weeks, is a giant PITA. Don't be surprised when he grows tired of your whining and bitching and kicks you to the curb.

  • It'd make me super uncomfortable.

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  • Delete it or it's over.

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  • Absolutely

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  • Yes. Red flag.

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  • I would dump their ass

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  • You are all over the place.

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  • Yes it would

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  • Would not bother me at all

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  • I’d be bugged as well.

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  • Of course. Were in a relationship! You filthy jerk. Id cut him off in no time. No second chances. #scorpio

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  • You need to walk away from that relationship.

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  • Yes, it would bother me as the priority of dating apps are either you have the looks or the money. You never really know who you are talking to and the majority usually involves desperate people, trying to get laid.

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  • Dump his ass

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  • Yes and weirdly enough I’d find that more disturbing of an issue over porn.

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  • No I used dating apps while I was in a relationship, just to try them out and kill boredom, my girl knew, I got bored after a month and deleted them

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