I have been married for 13 years to a great guy, but I really want to be with women. Would the average guy be ok with me having a girl on the side?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Be honest with him. Let’s not play the guessing game. It’s been a long time. Maybe he wants some things too.

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    • We have been a little less intimate lately. I have decided to talk to him to discus his wants and needs first, then we will get to mine. I just don’t want to blast him with that all at once with out at the very least listening to his wants.
      Thanks so much! 😀

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    • 6d

      Yeah! I was sure he would like to try some things out. I’m happy you have a marriage where you don’t need to have secrets!

      No secrets and you guys will be very happy.

    • 6d

      Absolutely!! 😋

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What Girls & Guys Said

221
  • It's definitely a discussion you need to have with your husband. If he's not okay with it, then you need to decide if you need to divorce or if you're okay staying where you are. I would say the average guy wouldn't be okay with it.

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    • I appreciate your input! If he was not ok with the idea, I would scrap it all together! I have done things with girls before I was married and it was great. But have not really thought about it since being married until recently. I have gone 15 years without it. I can survive! Lol :)

  • I would definitely feel jealous of their connection.
    I would also want to have sex with both of them and feel left out.
    Then I'd realize, marriage is really hard and why do I have to deal with all the problems related to being married, but other people get to sleep with her for free.
    It just seems like a shit deal.

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  • I would rather she had a woman instead of another guy, but I would be upset about it. The concept of marriage runs deeper than sharing a home and responsibility of finances. It also carries intimacy and love and respect along with communication and trust.

    If you were my wife and you told me that, I would feel betrayed and my trust destroyed. If we spent 13 years in what I believed was a great marriage for you to suddenly say "I want to be with a woman." It would be a hard slap to the face. I would be wondering why the hell I wasted 13 years of my time, my money and my world with this woman who I thought loved me.

    An open relationship is not a marriage. That is more swinger territory than anything. If you want this, you better tell him and if he is cool with it, then maybe you should be cool with him having a side girl as well. Would you be cool with him having that privilege to sleep with another woman while you do the same, or does that bother you? This could just as easily be a passing desire. You want to risk a marriage because of that?

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  • I'll be honest. It would depend if she just wanted some fun and pleasure of girl girl sex or actually wanted a romantic relationship with a woman. Just sex I can be ok with, but I would not like it if she wanted a side relationship with her on a romantic level. I love lesbians. It's the main reason I masturbate and watch porn. I have lots of fantasies about them including threesomes. At the same time, I am slightly bi-curious too, so I can understand the desires of wanting to try it. So because it fuels my fantasy and is in my kinky wheelhouse I would be ok with her wanting this. She would still have to love me at the end of the day and still make me #1 in her life.

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    • Perhaps my wording of the question was poor at best, what I would really like is a girl (friend) who I can go out of town with shopping, share a room and have sex with. Also I am fully willing to bring her into my bedroom with my husband and he can join in if he wished. I don’t see this as a romantic relationship with a girl as much as feeding my need for lesbian sex. While still being 100% into my husband as we already are.

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    • Thank you so much!! :) I really appreciate the time you took with me!

  • Let me ask you this then are you ok with your husband having other women as well. If yes then you really don't have a marriage what you have is two people who share responsibility for a house but have their own lives if not then what your asking for is for him to take all of the responsibility for whatever you want to call it but have none of the benefits.
    Secondly and this is an important point you're lying to him and yourself and he'd be right to be pissed off with you as he's built his life around you while he isn't what you want.
    Have you also thought that if you both can have other women then what are you going to do when he walks in and tells you to leave or he packs his bags and walks out saying he's found something better. Are you ready for that.
    Frankly your in a mess, I don't wish you well you'll reap what you've sowed.

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    • But then that is a male response don't you like reality or would you rather the fantasy.

    • I don’t hate this response at all

  • If you let him play with both of you once in while would be ok

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  • Aslong as you are open about it, and dont spend more time with her than with him, yeah i think its okay

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  • In First place I wouldn't enter marriage. If my Partner decided for herself to have a "Girl in the Side" then I would do the Same.

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  • I am married and my answer would be no. A threesome with an anonymous person though I might consider.

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  • Only a very few men would be ok if you shared the girl on the side.

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  • Some men in my country might; but for me it would be an instant dealbreaker.

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  • Would you accept him having a woman on the side?

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    • Yes, honestly it only seems fair.

    • Ultimately only one person who can give you the answer you need. You need to talk to your husband.

  • I think you already know the answer.

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    • I actually don’t. I figured guys would be at least semi cool with the idea.

    • Generally speaking, I can't see asking for an extra marital partner going well for either of you. How would you feel?
      However, if you are serious, talk to your guy and help him see that this might actually be the best solution. You'll need to be very reassuring I would think.

  • Only if you're hot.

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  • He's more than likely going to be upset.

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  • I would be open to discuss but probably not.

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  • no..

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  • As him.

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  • It depends upon the person..

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  • Uhh, nope! You women suck these days.

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  • Would you be ok if your husband wanted to be with a man on the side?

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  • As long as he can screw her too or have his own woman on the side.

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    • Absolutely he could screw her, or even have his own. I am very open to that.

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    • But then he falls for the other woman and abandons you.

    • That is definitely a risk too. So much to consider. Thank you! 🙂

  • I wouldn't , i think you need a divorce

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