Someone F'd you over good, so you do what?


Forgiveness is one of the most powerful of things. But it is oh so not easy to come to grips with. Where does one draw the strength from to forgive? How does it feel to forgive, or not to forgive?

you feel so small, because you are powerless in the system it seems
you feel so small, because you are powerless in the system it seems

People can hurt each other easily, for selfish reasons and their own wounds. Like:
MotherF@#er raped you in college, and you lost 15 years of your life.
Your boss totally F'd you... on purpose (they do that)! You lose... job, retirement, house, maybe family.
The guy/girl you loved... they hurt you terribly, totally F'd your life! F'in hell man!
The Govt official screwed you bad and laughed about it on the news, and you lost your business! You went bankrupt!
In essence, these are all corruptions of power, selfishness, and lack of love! Ok!!!

Someone F'd you over good, so you do what?
Oh but that Universe... by twist of fate years later, you have power over their offspring! OOOOO
Maybe you are the Sargent in the Army commanding them, and you have to pick someone for the dangerous front position? Tempting..
Or you are the boss, and you can make this subordinate suffer! No consequences, at least earlth
Or you see them in a dangerous place... like trapped in a car on side of the road, ready to catch fire. They are gonna die, unless you interject to help call for help... else they die! Nobody would know though if you drive on...

Dig deep... how do you respond? You're options:

A) F! ck em over, that's life bi#ch! (Explain how this would feel). Is there a better way?
B) Ignore your feelings.
C) Forgive: Engage with them, explain what happened that they deeply hurt you, and that you will treat them the same as anyone else. Explain how you'd feel and where you get the strength.
D) Other
  • F'ck em over!
    Vote A
  • Ignore
    Vote B
  • Forgive, be up front, help
    Vote C
  • Other
    Vote D
  • Lets see if we've evolved as a race, show results
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
6d
My inspiration on this was a female boss who gaslighted me and did a number on me when I was already down... this after years of dedication to the company. She was new.
I battle with the feeling and put it back in place, but it's not easy sometimes. We're all human.

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1016

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What Girls & Guys Said

1016
  • As tempting as it sounds to make others suffer for screwing you over with no remorse or empathy, do we really want to continue the cycle by making others below us who didn't hurt us in the first place suffer a similar fate like we did? I've had a boss badmouth me all the time but I never wanted to do the same back because I knew she was suffering a terrible marriage and home life. My ex-girlfriend tried to ruin my reputation and backstabbed multiple friends of mine but I didn't blame her because I wasn't there to provide the closure she needed when we broke up. If we grew up in a healthy home life and had people who cared and loved us very much, we probably wouldn't be thinking about hurting others in the process because we'd have support if anything went wrong and we'd want the best for everyone!

    I want to be that role model who empathizes with other people's suffering. I'd want to try and understand their point of view of why they are who they are today and what got them there. I'll always forgive the person who hurt me but I certainly won't forgive their choice of actions. The idea of hurting someone because they hurt me just breaks my heart because revenge gets nobody anywhere. I feel bad your boss gaslighted you for so long! It would be difficult not wanting to get revenge on her in some way or another. I hope you'll be able to get over the problem instead of tolerating it!

    In a nutshell, I would forgive but not forget. It'd be naive to pretend nothing happened but it'd be too aggressive to attack the person who hurt us.

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  • I will never forgive but I won't dedicate my time actively hating them because it's unfair to myself and the people who care about me.

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    • 4d

      Spot on

    • 4d

      So you'd accept their child and be ok, e. g. not spite or get them back? how would you feel though? The challenge is those feelings come up when exposed, so they have to be dealt with. To me... if the feelings come up, the emotions are still there in control from that old wound. And that isn't ideal.

  • Forgiveness is paramount for you to be forgiven.

    It isn't, however, a one way street.

    That doesn't mean that crimes will go unpunished when called for.

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    • 6d

      You keep rising up my ranks! Wait though, what mean it isn't a 1 way street? It is if I'm forgiving and they never do. I've seen a few times where someone makes up for a wrong they've done, I guess they felt guilt. But usually, the abuser goes on happy as can be, the victim lying in the dust of their blood for years. What are you referring to not a 1 way street?

      It's a good point God will make right. Is He possibly putting the offspring before you as an opportunity... to make things right within you and maybe the offender?:) Ah... an interesting twist!

    • Show All
    • 6d

      gotcha. I'm not sure abusers see their flaws sometimes, for a long time. But there is power in that forgiveness, ty!

    • 6d

      Your welcome! :)

  • I'm more often the "fucked overer" rather than the "fucked overee"

    But my immediate thoughts upon getting fucked over by someone I know is revenge.

    Fucked over by my boss? I count the safe. I could easily embezzle 200 bucks a nights and she'd be none the wiser. I wouldn't, but it's doable.

    Fucked over by the government? Fuck em, move somewhere else. I have that freedom.

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    • 6d

      That's kinda life until you gain in power. If you spend a life feeling F'd over, you will be a terrible boss.
      Thank you for being honest... people go to the slammer for embezzling...

    • 6d

      Of course. It's grand theft on top of embezzlement. 1 crime gets you 2 charges.

    • 6d

      I didn't know that, not very legal minded:) The govt loves their money, and noone likes to have things stolen. Blessings!

  • You forgive - When you have love for yourself and others, you can then forgive, you will be happier.
    In life, people will take every opportunity to put one down. Experiences will make you stronger and build your strength and character.
    1. making friends - I forgive her - she didn't pay me back, but have the money to spend on herself. I learned to continue to love her, but careful with my money. (i value myself, and my hard earn money)
    2. work - my boss - no matter how much she tries to break me. she is following "her rules" she didn't have to say "well, if you have more letters in your file, you can be dismissed" I thank her and walked away. I learn to be better so i will not be in that position again. I forgive her words. (i build strength and character)
    3. relationships - this is a person who you have been most intimate with, you give your all and your trust to, you created life, family with. when it ended, you think all is gone. the truth is, learn that you can be even better once you make it back up again. then you can love again with an open heart.
    (those took a long time to build)
    Forgive and love those who hurt you, you will live happier. When you get hurt by others, its not as painful.

    I don't wish any harm to anyone or their future children lol...

    govt. i live in this society. i follow their rules. i try to make the best from the system.

    child abuse, rape - glad never have such experience... not sure if i can forgive this one... in my mind i want to but when i think of the victims who have gone through such tramatic experences, I am not sure...

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  • Many confuse "forgiveness" with "giving up". One is being at peace with yourself in spite of the wrong that was done to you. The other is the inability to do anything to do about your anger. One can only forgive if they're in position to exact revenge and choose not to.

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  • Forgiveness is irrelevant considering I would not let the person in my life anymore. It just dispells. I don't hold grudges. But that person just doesn't exist to me anymore.

    So there for it, not something I would think about. I had a person steal from me. Like steal my house key and steal from while I was away at their house for the weekend. Meaning their dumb ass had time to think it through and didn't. I will never forgive them.

    I terminated the friendship. Slap the piss out their mouth (first time i was ever that enrage to raise a hand and dared them to call the cops) and I haven't look back.

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  • Let them relax and think I've forgotten the whole incident. Then when they least expect it... BAM!! Payback, motherfucker.

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  • I'd ignore and move-on.

    Re-building (which is the priority!) already has its own challenges. Why complicate it further with plans for revenge?

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  • Hey unfortunately we are human, that's why its best to surround yourself with as many Christians as possible, they generally get taught not to treat others like crap to begin with.

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  • I'd forgive 'em, but then I would NEVER let them live it down that they OWE ME up their ass! I won't fuck them over, but I'm gonna extract a few grins and giggles as payment.

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  • Yes I know now... how far one can be pushed. Mentally and physically this can go either way.. But I knew when I ignored my anger, disbelief, hurt, all aspects of forgiveness as it happens... tjen I realized the next day how i forgive her... this was the tip of iceberg... as I found out !

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  • Slash their tire and glue their ass to the office chair, obviously.

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  • Honour Code:

    "Be proud, not humble. Be rich, not poor. If thine enemy smite thee, smite him back. If not, he will steal thine honour"

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  • I will forgive. Not for them, but for me so I can cut my losses and heal. But I will never forget.

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  • I have been a very forgiving person in the past but it has always back-fired on me so I am done with that.

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  • I'd fuck 'em over big time. They'd be screwed six ways from Sunday when I'm finished with them.

    Simples..

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  • This one thing i'm not proud of. I'm vengeful and can hold a grudge till the day I die.

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  • Forgive and move on. Life is too short to waste it on bitterness, resentment, and seeking revenge.

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  • i forgive people and dont hold onto hatred but i dont forget what things happen.

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  • Kill em if it’s suitable

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  • I'd try my best to forget. And forgive too

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  • Teach them a lesson so they won't do it again.

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  • Nowadays I just go for a walk and put all my energy into improving my own life.
    For me to truly get revenge on people I would end up in jail and that's always a loss in my opinion.

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  • If possible return the favor, in an even worse fashion. If not possible, than talk bullshit about forgiveness and how I am the "bigger man"

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  • Depends, especially on my mood.
    I'd rather not hurt their offspring though, but themselves.

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    • 6d

      so give me the breakdown of your moods and how you'd respond:) That's good you wouldn't hurt her kids... but if he was your age and you were in charge of his ass, does he do extra duty:)?

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