How do I get the courage to stand up to my wife and confront her about her cheating?

How do I get the courage to confront my wife about her cheating?
How do I get the courage to confront my wife about her cheating?
Updates:
5d
I'm looking for other options besides divorce that's something I don't want to do

1|0
1322

Most Helpful Guy

  • the fact that she cheated on you and 'wouldn't even deny it' means that she does not respect you.

    Obviously you are a very kind but also very weak man, you don't have alpha traits and can't act tough. Now, if you don't want her to cheat on you, changes need to happen from your part.

    You gotta realize that the reason why someone cheats is because they dont have all their want in their partner, and there are things missing.

    I can already tell what's missing from you is confidence and just outright strong personality that cannot be shook. Once you have those you will notice her respect suddenly increase dramatically and even the way she looks at you is different.

    What you can do now since you don't wanna leave her no matter how much she cheats:
    1. either accept the fact that she will always cheat on you and live with it, but you gotta predict that one day she'l just leave you cause she will lose more and more respect to you in time. ESPECIALLY and big ESPECIALLY is if she knows YOU know she's cheating and are not doing anything about it. that's literally the ultimate lost of respect towards you and the words you would be described by her and others are 'cuck', 'pathetic loser', 'beta bitch' or even a 'pussy'.

    2. Start working on yourself and building yourself up either secretly publicly whatever works for you better (that's gonna happen all while she's cheating on you or if you guys take a break). Start hitting the gym, work on your personality and confidence. working out/playing sports and getting inshape will give you a lot of confidence boost but it will not make your personality stronger. You gotta work on yourself and your personality. establish your principles, what's okay with you and what isn't. Be honest with yourself. Slowly but surely transform yourself into a strong man that is satisfied with himself.

    I'l tell you the biggest secret to confidence and strong personality is self-satisfaction. When you reach the point where you are truly fully satisfied of yourself, you have nothing that you hate in yourself anymore, you fixed all your problems and what makes you unhappy or at least are working on it. accepted whatever problems that you have that literally cannot be possibly humanly fixed and learned to live with them. Once you all this happens, the moment you become 'truly' happy with yourself and satisfied... that is when you reach the ULTIMATE confidence and have character. Confidence is literally another word for 'being happy with yourself'. Once you realize that, you will know how to fix it.

    in summary, your goal in the 2nd point is to slowly but surely build yourself into a confident happy strong man, and with time you will gain full respect from your wife and maximum attraction. She will decide on her own, to never cheat on you again.

    Best of luck, message me if you have any questions.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 5d

      Though i will tell you, that once your confidence start increasing and as you progress through building yourself up. You will by default not accept to yourself to be treated in that way and might breakup with her yourself or may even find a much better woman. Since you will be much more attractive with time.

    • Show All
    • 5d

      yeah? then why did you ask this question?

      I don't think you did. No man will ever do. i'm very sure that deep down, you want all this to stop. I know how a piece of your heart dies everytime you realize she cheated on you.

      You may accept it, but that doesn't mean the pain will go away. it never will. and you will be suffering all your life or until she leaves you. because i told you... she will eventually leave you. She's not stupid, you think she doesn't know that you at least have an idea she's cheating? the respect will be lost more and more with time. To the point she will not even care if you caught her cheating and you will one day face the ultimate disappointment and confidence destruction when you walk on her having sex in your own bed and still not caring that you saw her or even ignores your existence.

      I know you dont want that pain, and i don't want that pain for you. Just imagining it hurts me. i can't even imagine what has happened to your already weak and fragile heart.

    • 5d

      u said you dont want to leave her. but as hurtful as it is to leave her, it is still less hurtful than being with her. that i promise you. Time has something magical where it helps you move on when you are not associated in anyway with whatever is hurting you. Best way to move on is to delete everything that reminds you of that person, otherwise, even if you left her, you will never get over her. How can you get over someone when things all over the place keep reminding you of that person.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You just do. Because if it's not going to change divorce is around the corner. And if you have to walk out, walk out. Send a message by walking out. It's not worth keeping her since she doesn't want to keep you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 6d

      If he dovkrces she gets half his shit. So she cheats, AND gets his stuff. I used to not see it, but marriage can trap men super hard

    • Show All
    • 5d

      Divorce is not an option to me I do not want to do that

    • 5d

      How is it not an option? Your held against you will? Then stop complaining. No one wants to hear the B. S..

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

1221
  • If you know she is cheating, why do you need to confront her? What will it accomplish? Is there anything she can say that will convince you to stay with her?

    1|1
    0|0
    • 6d

      Yeah I still want to stay with her even though I know she's cheating

    • Show All
    • 5d

      @ASKER I don't know rather be impressed at your passive aggressive or baffle.

      I almost want to give you a hand. I have never seen passive aggressiveness with such... you just own it, man.

    • 5d

      @Gothd011 what do you mean by that

  • Grow some Ballies, Bae... STOP ENABLING THIS CHEAT SHEET, SHE AIN'T SWEET. xx

    2|3
    0|0
    • 6d

      ***DITCH HER. xx

    • 6d

      Yeah it's been going on for a long time and I just say nothing about it

  • confront her with evidence

    0|2
    0|0
  • I don't know what to tell, if you didn't immediately divorce her and that isn't your natural instinct and if you are still actually "with" this person I don't think you can be helped. I don't know how she doesn't disgust you and how she isn't permanently and forever tainted in your eyes. How you can stand to even be in the same room as her.

    How you haven't already severed your relationship and divorced I can't even fathom.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I thinked we do know there are statistics and data that shows by splitting up I could possibly impact the children’s lives if you are not married that is a different story. I think this is a deeper question are their children involved how long has the marriage been how long has she been cheating these questions need to be accounted for as well if there are children involved we do know there are statistics and data that shows by splitting up it could possibly impact the children’s lives if you are not married that is a different story. If she is cheating you need to confront it now. Sometimes people change sometimes it is not for the better usually with women they lose weight they feel better and more confident and they cheat but there is always a underlying causes something in the relationship is lacking. If you want to make it work you need to find out what it is. If you notice she’s changed and not the woman that she wants was then perhaps you have grown and are in different directions.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 5d

      Yes we're married we don't have kids together but she has one kid that she had from before

    • Show All
    • 5d

      I would consult with a laqyer to make sure that if you did divorce you A have enough evidence to prove divorce otherwise it falls into a NO FAULT and then you might have to pay alimony depending on the years together. You really need to weigh out your options. my ex had screen shots and everything to prove it but it wasn't enough in court.

    • 5d

      Well I probably couldn't prove it in court no

  • You sit her down, probably in an intimate setting like a nice bar with a drink in her hand, and you just ask her. The MOST important words to remember is calm, direct, and matter of fact.

    Do you have evidence?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 6d

      Yeah I know for a fact that she is and has been for a long time. But I basically just ignore it

    • 6d

      Then take the best three examples but keep them in your hip pocket in case she denies it. I'd tell her that you need her to be completely honest and in return you'll agree to not go ballistic.

      Is this helpful?

      How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

  • Wow dude, sorry to hear she has beaten you down to the point where you don't even feel like you can confront her. Get all of your affairs in order first, then matter of factly tell her what you are going to do and do not look back... tough as that may be.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 5d

      Re your update: Just being straight with you here, but what other options are there? Deep down how will you ever be able to trust her again? I understand divorce isn't ideal (I know this first hand) but sometimes taking one step back to take two forward is the smart choice.

    • 5d

      I know that sounds crazy but I still want to be with her even though she cheats at and even if she continues cheating

  • What? Since you are gutless, avoid the confrontation and just walk away.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 6d

      But I still really want to be with her

    • Show All
    • 6d

      yes. At least there will be some conversation on the subject.

    • 6d

      Don't sound like it should be interesting

  • Siphon as much out of accounts into hidden numbered accounts as you can while gathering and organizing evidence. You will need that money to survive if you live in a place where "no-fault" is the law. If so be prepared for her to take half of everything and a chunk of your future earnings if you are the greater earner. If you have kids, be prepared to be a part-time dad paying child support. She will probably get the house as well. Situations like this are why I advise people against marriage.

    0|0
    0|0
  • U r emotional with her. U can get better options than her bro. If a person is dishonest with u as an ideal man must get solid evidence and throw her out from ur life only if u r sure regarding this. U hv right to serve her divorce. Seek the help of ur parents. Acc to me no one better than parents can give u true advice. Don't b upset regarding this bro. Wish u happy life. Gudluck.
    ×××Mandy×××

    0|0
    0|0
  • Get in touch with a counselor at 1-800-A-FAMILY and they should be able to give you some practical help with this. Sorry that you are having to go through this in your life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh anon, you don't need courage...

    Get an attorney, and let them serve her the divorce papers!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just get the divorce papers. Clean and simple, you don't need someone like this who disrespects you and your marriage.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 5d

      Okay you're looking for an option besides divorce but the very fact that you said she won't deny it means she doesn't care whether you know or not. She doesn't respect you and is using you.
      You might not divorce but staying with her will only bring you more problems. You will find someone better.

  • just tell her you know about it and ask her why she does it. don't be violent and hit her because it will cause your wife pain

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2d

      I guess I'm just worried that she'll leave me

  • This kind of question might be part of the reason why she cheated... you gotta stand up for yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Who owns the joint? If it's yours, set the timer on her. If it's hers, well, you're in for some rough time..

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don’t know if this is too late, but the analogy I’ll use is, how do you swim to the other side of a freezing river? You pass the point of no return.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You dont need courage. Go to attny. They will deliver the divorce papers and confront her for you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hire a private eye and get pictures so if divorce happens you don't loose everything.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Grow some fucking balls and kick her out. Why the hell are you putting up with it?

    0|1
    0|0
  • Damn, confront her ASAP. If she is cheating, dump her and move on. Where is your self-esteem?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 6d

      Basically all gone

  • ok i got it form a step by step my buddy
    do this all in secret!
    1. realize the situation and calmly detach yourself emotionally
    2. gather gather gather ( i mean everything screen shots, text messages anything you can) make extra copies of these kinda stuff if she tries to defend her bad acts you got smeer ammo to show family and friends
    3. Lawyer up go get your self legal aid with the combination with your evidence should not guarantee and see what your options are and see what your best separation agreement is
    4. get your assets and shits together such as money building and stuff in check and close any
    5. calmly present evidence and divorce papers
    6. Bail tactfully and use every leverage you can in this she will do the same so more ammo you have the better.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 6d

      Unfortunately most of this is irrelevant if he lives in a no-fault divorce jurisdiction. He could be a saint and she could be screwing all of the neighbors, and the division of property will be the same as if they just didn't get along.

    • 5d

      @Liam_Hayden ah well man got to grit his teeth on this one then

    • 5d

      Yeah, the laws are messed up. The higher earner, male or female, gets screwed over again in no-fault states when divorcing a cheating spouse.

  • Just straight up tell her and then leave.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 6d

      But I still want to be with her

  • Backstory please

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't! You don't need to, just walk away.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don’t. Fogey about t

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just get a lawyer and divorce.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Inject all the testosterone you can find

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hire a private investigator then file for divorce

    0|0
    0|0
  • leave her. she could give you stds

    0|0
    0|0
  • Liquid courage. Walk up to her after 8 shots of Captain Morgan and say "Hey bitch, are you cheating on me?"

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'll let you in on a little secret. 99.99999999999999% of women in this world are evil and shouldn't be bothered with. All they do is control and manipulate men just to keep them away from the few genuine women in this world who actually need love. In fact they are not really human beings, but demons that are only in this world for that particular purpose. They enjoy causing real women distress by making them feel as if they're not good enough for any man that will treat them right and be loyal to them; and feel as if they deserve to be alone. They are also the ones that invented monogamy and marriage to make it easier for them to get away with getting their claws in good men and telling ther women that they own these men and that they're off-limits to other women.

    2|0
    1|0
  • There is no build up or procedure, if you know she is cheating dump her instantly and never talk to her again.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...