Why do so many people assume that I have a boyfriend?

It's been happening to me for years. Maybe, 13 years? Many people have assumed that I have a boyfriend. I wasn't ready for a relationship until the age of 22. So, I started dating and got relationship at the age of 22, but after I broke up with my first boyfriend. I took few years break from dating. When I'm single and I told people I'm single. Some don't believe me and think I want to keep it a secret. They keep asking me over and over again who's that guy? This is getting really annoying. Why does so many people assume you must be in a relationship just because you're a grown up now. Is having a relationship everything? I have made other things my priority now, I do not want to start dating and I dislike trying to convince people over and over again that I am not in a relationship. How do you react when people assume you're in a relationship when you aren't?
Updates:
Give me a nice idea to stop these people from asking me the same question again, I'll give you MHO. I'm truly sick of it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, as a person whose ALWAYS living with that situation. The reality is, you can't stop them. They will always assume and question: "WHAT? BUT WHY!!! YOUR so BEAUTIFUL/PRETTY/NICE ETC." The point is, it's your choice to date or not date. And even if you want to date, it is HARD to find a genuine person who is not after you for your body, or because your a woman who is capable of having sex. They also assume because you look younger and attractive, you will immediately be with somebody. People have screwed up morals and standards in this society. They judge you for being attractive and attracting anybody, but they also judge you when you don't have anybody. The reality is, who CARES? It's your life and you don't just want things handed to you. All you asked for is respect. The best way to handle it is to just ignore it and don't let it bother you. Relationships are NOT everything nor is it life. Life is what you make it. Some people are just JEALOUS of you.

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  • I experienced the same thing. It didn't really bother me though.
    People assume I have a husband but that's because I have a daughter.

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  • I never assumed that about you.

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  • Probably because you're attractive or something, it makes them feel like they have a excuse for not being able to get with you.

    My best advice would be to just avoid the guys that keep making this assumption, if saying "I'm single" once isn't enough then just get rid of him. He blew it.

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    • Okay! Thank you. It's not just the guys who asked me that questions, girls do it, too. I just want to stay single and focus on my career instead.

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    • It gets annoying though.

    • Yeah I bet, but at least you're not missing out on something you like. You should just be happy that so many people think you're too attractive to be single

  • Mostly women with broken trust are appearing like the ones who are committed to a relationship. The only time you said thank you when someone said you look good is when a girl said it. You don't react to guys they might think you are in a relationship. And other women also witness how you interact with guys so they may assume the same.

    When you're somewhat different than the majority, people will always ask you the same questions. This is a glitch of human nature, cannot help it.

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    • I see. Thank you so much for explaining.

    • No worries. Did you notice the glitch? Unusual question, they all react the same saying you look good. I should get a Nobel prize for this.

  • I don’t give a damn what they think! If they think I’m taken... I’ll act like I’m taken! If they think I’m single... hell yes I’ll act like I’m hella single ready to mingle😂
    But on a serious note, I am honestly take! and very much happy! 😇

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  • Perhaps they assume that cute people have relationships. But also, if someone is like 25-30, most people at that point start families, which means that it'd be logical that they have a boyfriend at that time.

    Personally, people don't say anything to me in terms of them assuming whether I'm in a relationship but when I said I wasn't, sometimes people are surprised

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  • Because men will tend to assume any attractive woman will be taken and / or have vast numbers of options. The only thing to suggest is get a LED lit badge stating in bright colours ..." SINGLE BY CHOICE ! " Other than that , more of the same is likely. They are giving you a sideways compliment if anything.

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  • That's most guys excuse when they're afraid to approach a girl. When a girl is very attractive or pretty guys think she's out of their league or that she already has a girlfriend, for an excuse to not approach her and avoid rejection.
    Maybe your body language makes it seem like you're not open enough, so people might assume you're taken.
    Maybe look into that.
    Also try approaching guys yourself.

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    • Thank you for your input, but I don't want to approach guys as I do not want to date and stuff again.

    • Then I don't see why you're bothered with people thinking you're in a relationship.
      If it's just the questions you're irritated by then just work to change your body language and style to make yourself seem more open.

  • When I'm asked in some way, subtle, indirect or otherwise if I have a girlfriend than it's usually because they like me and wants to know if I'm available.

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    • I see, but some girls also asked me the same question and I think they're completely straight.

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    • Well, comparison is sadly an extremely pervasive inclination. We seek confirmation about ourselves if insecure, by comparing lives with those we consider better.
      I think it is more common with women though. Guys usually go about jealousy in a very different way.

      I think it's fairly possible it is the latter reason though, if I might say so without being untoward, you are quite beautiful.

    • That's just sad. Honestly, I never felt better if someone was less attractive or had a trouble finding a guy. I don't really feel the need to compare or compete. So, this just feels weird. But, I guess I get clueless about the surroundings and how others feel sometimes. I appreciate you explaining it to me.

      Ah, I see. Thank you! That's really sweet of you.

  • Well, from your picture, I can tell that you’re pretty, and from seeing you around GAG, you seem like you’re very nice. So I think others see that and think you’d be long gone off the market. People project their own stuff on others. To them, being in a relationship IS everything, many people do find that very fulfilling and even more importantly are UNFULFILLED when they aren’t in one, and so they probably project that standard onto you. They first assume you’d not be single, and then upon learning that you are, they think about how they would be/are sad if they were single, and assume you must be sad too. So it’s probably coming from a good place, they want to inspire you to be happier and encourage you. But I definitely get where it gets repetitive and annoying. I’ve been with my girlfriend 12 years, and I can’t tell you how much we get asked why we aren’t married, why don’t we have any kids, and it’s like “damn, can you please mind your own business? That’s not what fulfills us, and we’re doing great as is, thanks for asking.” Then they tell us we’ll change our minds about kids, which is so condescending, like we haven’t grown up yet. Just once I want to tell one of these people who said that to us, when they’re expecting and are excited for their own baby, and be like “oh, you’ll change your mind once it’s born.”😂 Yeesh, have kids and have a blast. We’re gonna not have kids and have a blast. It’s all fair. You do you, we’ll do us.

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  • People don't assume you have a boyfriend because you're grown up but because you're beautiful.
    Therefore you have much more chance than most to find someone.

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    • But that doesn't mean that she has the same goals that other people have. The last time I got into a relationship and fell in love for the first time, he broje my trust and my heart. So, I'd rather stay single and do not get asked the same old question over and over again

    • But that, people can't know. You don't walk around with a sign saying "I'm single and don't want a bf".
      And the norm is that: a pretty girl has much more chances to have a boyfriend, that's simple. No one know your thoughts or personal life, and when people don't know, they'll stick to the norm, since it's what is most likely true for the majority.

  • I get what you mean. I have been in situations where both men and women are stunned I don't have a girlfriend or not married yet.

    Kind of discouraging since it seems like something is either wrong with me or I am not meeting modern day standards, which is honestly fine with me.

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  • Because you had one not too long ago.
    Maybe also because you're pretty so they automatically assume you must have one

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  • Well i never got assumed that i was in a relationship. It's generally easier to assume a women is in a relationship than not. Plus pretty girls are almost always in relationships

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  • Dont take it in wrong sense i think its the aura of a person that makes other people think they must be in relationship

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    • What do you mean by that?

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    • That doesn't mean she's with someone.

    • People assume by these things and their assumption isn't right always and they dont care if other person will get irritated as in your situation

  • I cannot give a sensible explanation why people ask you the same question again and again
    Probably because of your age..

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    • But they have asked me this question even when I was a minor

    • then because of your physical appearance (beautiful women are usually supposed to have a boyfriend)

  • Sometimes I just give them a funny face and walk away in the middle of a conversation if they continually insist I’m lying about something I’m being genuine about. It’s like they just farted and they get abandoned. It probably makes them feel weird.

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  • Tell them that you have learned you are asexual and you find the thought of an intimate relationship off putting.. and that you’re looking into getting cats instead. They’ll leave you alone after that.

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  • Sometimes the best thing is to tell the person look here
    i don't wish to date at the time and yes i am Single and
    i intend to stay that way to i find that I'm ready for dating
    hey i know what your going through cause people ask
    me why i haven't had sex with a woman yet well see if
    i want live by the rules of God and not have sex to I get
    married than that should be my option just some people
    make me wonder and it pisses me off. ( Sorry for the
    language )

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  • For guys is because inductive inference is pretty accurate when it comes to pretty women usually being taken.

    For women I think they are just trying to find a topic of conversation and gossip. I mean what is more fun than making fun of a boyfriend and divulging any secret he was dumb enough to trust you with to complete strangers.

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  • tell them you lesbian. they'll stop aking. but if the profile picture is yours, you a pretty woman and people might not believe it because your too good looking to be single. I know stupid. but hell the world is filled with stupid.

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  • I honestly almost always assume an attractive female to be a lesbian or be in a hetero relationship. It's just hard to believe that no one has scooped certain women up in a relationship.

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  • Because if your pretty and have a lovely personality - it's seems least likely you would stay single for long

    You know how the saying goes: The good ones are always taken

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  • The main reason people do this is ALWAYS because the particular girl looks very good looking for she looks like girlfriend material (down to earth physical appearance).

    You don't need to figure out how to stop it. As you age it will go away.

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  • Tell them your inability relationship with me! This is the only option. To answer your question they do it because it's a compliment to you because your an attractive lady so it's like a your single wow kind of thing.

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  • Why bothering with that. Take it as compliment, and start focusing on more important things in your life.

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  • Probably because you're beautiful, and a lot of guys expect beautiful girls to be in a relationship, especially if they have an amazing personality (I don't know you enough to verify if that's true in your case)

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  • People assume cute girls are always taken. Its a bad sterotype.

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  • Just tell them that you're taken by yourself since your awesomeness is too much for others too handle :D

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  • Just tell them you are taking a break from dating. It's the truth and if they ask why, say it's personal. That should stop the majority of them from asking more questions or trying to convince you to date. If they push it, say it's personal, please stop asking. I'm guessing you are good looking and some people have a hard time believing a good looking woman doesn't have a guy. Many people would be surprised to learn that because a woman is attractive, it doesn't mean she has a lot of guys hitting on her.

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  • Maybe because your made of honey and i'm the bunny haha 😄

    Wanna talk about it, hit me back in a PM 😜👍 lol

    Sincerely yours "creep perv" 🤣

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  • Believe me I know the feeling. Everything has become about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. You're not living unless you have a partner is what everybody thinks. Focusing on career, focusing on yourself, traveling, mastering a craft... non of it is what people care about, unless you have a partner... it's bloody ridiculous how much some people put on the importance of having a mate.

    You're a nice looking girl so it will definitely be assumed of you to have a boyfriend. There's not much anything can help convince otherwise really in todays society lol. But you can try wearing shirts like
    image.spreadshirtmedia.com/.../...n=1543821757.jpg

    haha other than that, I'm sorry I truly don't know.

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  • what people? It is probably the energy you present, you may cast a strong confident image, which is likely a facade masking your internal state... it's a good skill. in other words, you aren't being vulnerable and authentic?

    you are too mature, sweet and nice to people. time to tap into that inner strength! words someitmes don't sink into peoples heads unless they are driven with amplitude. Elevate voice, inform them again I don't, not dating right now and stop asking.. it's insulting. If they don't stop, then insult them back with a question they won't like... like if they talk to their dead husband or whatever and what he says? if that doesn't work punch them in the arm... lol:) ok, I'm a guy...
    or don't talk to them.

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  • Hold on, weren't you dating an Aussie guy? Or did I make that up?

    Maybe you said that when you thought I was coming onto you ;)

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  • Some people wierdly can have a vibe about them that make it seem like they in a relationship. They either less intense or less extroverted than other people and usually that can happen when in a relationship.

    There's no perfect way to stop them asking you. They could be asking out of curiosity at times because they themselves want to ask you out. Also sometimes guys think you in a relationship with you have a good friendship with another guy. Many times I was mistaken as my friends boyfriend because me and her are close friends. I know you want a idea or solution to make them stop. But you can't control what other people say or think. But the reasons I listed above may be why.

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  • I get the same reaction... you're very pretty, and I'm sure that your personality is probably one that just seems like it would be in a relationship.

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  • Don't take what they say so literally. They're just gauging your reaction to see if you're single to avoid rejection if they ask you out.

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  • Because people automatically assume attractive people are taken. Plus if I'm not mistaken, the relationship status on your profile said dating.

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  • Put a pic of you and your long distance brother and say you're in a relationship with him. Nobody will question and everyone will believe it.

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  • It cause you are pretty.. And normally most of them are in a relationship so they assume u

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  • It's hard for people to believe that such a beautiful woman would be single

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  • l understand l am single people think l must or should have a wife or girl its my choice yes l would like to date l need to find the right girl first

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  • Because you're too beautiful and pretty to still be single.

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  • tell them your new realign doesn't alliw dating an that you like your new found realign cuz it gives you peace of mind

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  • Make up a name and say he lives in Australia... Bruce is a good Aussie name or anything ending in o like bono johno niko.

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  • The opinions of others only have the power you give them

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  • You must too pretty and friendly.
    So they assumed that you would definitely have a boyfriend.

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  • They think a pretty girl like you can't be single, weird people 😂

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  • Same thing happens to me. Not much to say but say no you don't

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  • You're pretty, so they assume someone like would surely be already taken

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