Is his past history of cheating something I should be concerned about?

Our relationship has been great, we've been engaged almost a year and a half and living together; he does things with my family and vice versa, he's loving and attentive to my almost teenage daughter; we go out, we work out together and the wedding date approaches quickly. I know it's hard for people to comment on these situations, and while I love this man I guess I'm wondering if his past should be my concern. The first time we were dating I received messages from multiple women he was also with them. When we got back together two years ago he was cheating on his girlfriend making dates with me. His tinder account was still open for the first few months when we got back together and only months before he proposed to me he tried to have sex with one of his exes. I know he has a past of overlapping women, but he is over 40 and never been married, as far as I have seen since living together he no longer uses his Facebook other than for business (before he was always liking seductive photos of women), he proudly posts pictures of us together, we are doing things together constantly, we spend time with each others families; he seems like he's learned and grown and is truly invested in our future. Should his past be a concern if he is so different now?

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  • Is his past of cheating on you and others a concern? That depends, do you want a loyal man or a disloyal one? Clearly it can't be a problem because you have not let it stop you yet, but if your asking if he will continue to cheat the answer is yes, obviously. He taught himself how to be indulgent, he spent what, over two decades of his life doing it, what is the probability that he will be able to stop himself now, even though he never actually did so before? I mean by your own admission he was still doing it when your together so what makes marriage so special? Eventually he will cheat again because he will get bored, he will start to go back to those old habits because again, he has never taught himself self control, he has never trained himself to prioritize the longer term instead of the short term or to think about how his actions impact others. Now its entirely possible he could change but what in his life was so profound that he actually decided he needed to change? Its not you, and its highly unlikely he will respect marriage (he didn't respect any of the women he was with, he didn't respect the relationships so their is no real reason to presume he will respect the marriage). So yes, it absolutely should be a concern and it baffles me how women can keep talking about wanting a good man and then seek out bad ones, to claim to want a loyal man then do everything in their power to get into a relationship with a disloyal one. But as I said, its clearly not a concern because you have let him do this to you before so you have no concern what so ever about this or you wouldn't be in the situation you have found yourself in.

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  • I judge people by their past history if they've cheated in the past. It shows you their potential, what they're capable of. A guy that's cheated in the past could never earn my trust.

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  • Yes. Dump him or don't bother period.

    My uncle's been married 4 times. Guess why...

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  • No stay with him and continue looking dumb

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