If you cheated in a previous relationship, should you tell your new partner?

If you cheated in a previous relationship, should you tell your new partner?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Maybe so
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm going to have to say no. I think all humans will cheat if the circumstances are just right for that individual. Some don't need any circumstance and just cheat while others may cheat if they're being mentally or emotionally manipulated by their partner. It's easy to just say, well then just break up, but the situation in that mindset at that very moment can make it hard.

    A person could cheat while being in a relationship where they are emotionally abused. They try to leave the relationship but the abuser manipulates them into staying. That very same person finally escapes the relationship and ends up in a healthy relationship after recovering and doesn't think twice about cheating.

    So, with that said, we all have skeletons in our closets that we don't want anyone to see. The past explains the person you have become today but it does not dictate the person you will become in the future.

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  • I wouldn't wear it as a badge of honor so NO. If they know anything about the situation and find out you could be in hot water so you need to weigh it out!

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It's not something I would mention in the first 3 dates or anything, but it is definitely something that I would mention BEFORE I have given my partner a reason to be distrustful or dissatisfied with my performance in the relationship or even just how I carry out my day to day. It's something you should bring up in the beginning phase, because if you can explain why you did it, what you learned from it, and why you'd never do it again. It's a much more honest approach to hearing it from a drunken mutual friend. It's secrets that help build trust and "finding out things" is NOT conducive trusting relationship.

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  • Yes if he expects a serious, honest relationship.
    My boyfriend told me he cheated on his ex. I took it bad at first and refused to talk to him. Then he explained to me the context of it all and found myself actually respecting him for his honesty about it and did my best not to jufge even if I did at the beginning. It made me very skeptical of his loyalty. But now i just know it's in the past and i could have done the same thing if i were in his shoes.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2928
  • Never dwell in the past.

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  • I would just so they know. I'd want to be truthful and let them really know me and my past so they can trust me/understand where I'm at mentally.

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  • Be honest. Simply don't lie if you're asked about it.
    As for me.. What a girl did in her previous relationships neither concerns me, nor does it matter.
    As long as she's loyal to me, I don't really care.

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  • This is a tough one. If you tell, they may end it to protect themselves from going through it. On the other hand, if you don't tell and somebody else tells them, you lose that way too. Never cheating keeps you out of this kind of situation.

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  • My thing is there's a perception around cheating of once a cheater always a cheater. So not that I have but if I did and I realized my mistake and was moving on with my life why would I bring it up? In some cases you almost sow a seed of doubt especially if you do tell them after already being in that relationship for some time it just looks sketchy.

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  • I would automatically trust them much less, probably just use them for sex and leave. I don’t normally do that to people but those type of people have it coming.

    Only exception would be if they did a long, long time ago. I cheated on my first HS girlfriend and I vowed never to do it again. It’s been almost 20 years and I’ve kept my word.

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  • Personally I have told everyone I've been with but more because we've spoken about previous relationships and what happened for us to split.
    I'm not going into it here, but I've explained why I did in various threads on G@G

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  • Only if it's somehow critical to knowing you at that time; Hopefully you have taken some time for yourself and sorted that part of yourself out before deciding you jump into ANOTHER relationship.

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  • There’s no point in baring your soul and telling all about past relationships. Key word is past. It’s none of his business how my past relationships started, how they ended, or anything about them.

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  • Of course. One man admitted he cheated on his previous partner, I refused to see him again. I have a very low opinion of cheaters.

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  • Yes if they ask, no if they don't and you think that is in the past and you wouldn't do that again

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  • Yes so hopefully they never make the cheater their partner

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  • Hmm. It’s up to them honestly. But if someone tells the boyfriend that she’s cheated before, then she shouldn’t be surprised if he breaks up with her.

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  • I wouldn't outright go and tell them but i wouldn't keep it a secret is asked about it.

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  • Yes cause thats some low disgusting shit. Hopefully he is on a higher level than that now but if he is the same it's disgustingly low..

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  • Depends how much honesty the two want. I’d say yes tell them

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  • If you want to start things off right, then yes. And get into why you did it, what happened because of it, that you regret it and why you would never do that again.

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  • Not in my priority list, but yes eventually I will. In fact I did tell my fiancee that I cheated on an ex after sometime together.

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  • I think so. I'd want to know why in so many words their relationship ended. Don't need details, but I'd personally like to know if I'm investing into someone.

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  • No because then I’d have preconceived trust issues with you. Grow up and move on.

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  • It’s probably something you should discuss sometime in the relationship. I wouldn’t recommend it as an ice breaker on the first date though... 😂

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  • If your partner asks you, would you tell? That would be the more important question. Would you lie about it

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  • Yep, be completely honest and tell them what a lowlife you are.

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  • Yeah, if it comes up. That is, assuming your going for a relationship based on honesty.

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  • Yes. They should know prior behavior like that. It's only fair.

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  • No, and the term "cheated" is erroneous and stupid and no one should use it.

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  • It depends on the circumstances. If you initiated the infidelity for no good reason, yes (but those sorts of people would not based on my experience).

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  • If it comes up in conversation I would probably mention it. I tend to be fairly open though.

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  • You should. So I can not date you and tell my friends to not date you

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  • B- no, they might not want to date you. Also don't cheat again.

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  • Yes I would. There is a good chance they will find out anyway.

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  • Your past doesn't define your present or furture relationship

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  • I wouldn't

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  • Better they find out from you than someone else.

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  • Of course most of the guys put no...

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  • Honesty is the best policy.

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  • No just dont do it in this one

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    • It will only cause him to get paranoid and not trust you

    • He's not paranoid if he has a reason to not trust you, which is the case if you have cheated before. It doesn't mean that you WILL do it again, but it's not "paranoid" to be cautious.

  • No,

    because I will NEVER cheat

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  • Yes u should

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  • Yes and don’t be surprised if he stop seeing you

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  • It's unfair to not let him know.

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  • Yes. My partners always know about my past.

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  • You should tell the truth if they ask.

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  • Don't think so, unless it comes up.

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  • Yes..

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  • I never cheated never would

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  • I think depends on why.

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  • If i cheated in a previous relationship, I’d just kill myself after.

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  • I had done a lot in my past relationship that I thought was stupid. I embarrassed myself, and called him numerous times begging for him not to breakup with me which was my breaking point and the lowest point I have ever been. I never felt like I forget that I did that, but I still built myself back up. I made a mistake but I came back from it, and thats what humans are. We make mistakes but if we own up to them, thats all that matters. Nobody has to know, and even though I have never cheated I would never mention any of the mistakes I made in a past relationship to my new lover because im not that person anymore. Its the same for cheaters, if they want to change then part of that is wanting to have a relationship built on trust, not on past lies

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  • No you don't have to tell your new partner that you cheated in a previous relationship because the person did so for a particular reason.

    It doesn't necessarily mean that they'll cheat in their next relationship.

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