How to bring up the exclusivity question?

Hey guys, just wondering.. what would be the best way to ask whether or not things are exclusive? I'm sure we are, I just want the confirmation. Or how do I ask him where he feels like the relationship is going?

I don't want to be the type of girl that is always like "what are you thinking/ how do you feel about me." But I want some sort of confirmation that he is as willing to invest in me as I am in him.

Thanks :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just say "I'm really glad I'm with you." If he balks or doesn't respond for a few seconds, then it's not exclusive. If he smiles and returns the sentiment, then it is.

    Also, FB is the new "official." Ask him when he wants to change his relationship status. It's a great way to non-akwardly make sure you both have the same idea of where things are going. Don't push him about it, let him do it himself. If he does it quickly and it says "In a relationship," you're probably set, (especially if the comments from his friends are celebratory and non-douchey)

    Best of luck.

    • yea I think ill go with your method. its subtle but tells you everything you need to know about whether or not he likes you. he has mentioned before about being really happy with where he is with his life right now especially because that includes having met me. but well see how it goes! thanks!

      & I wish I could do the whole fb thing.. but he doesn't have one :( lol

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I was dating a dude for about a month and within that time, asked him a couple times about exclusivity. The first time, he told me that he had never officially asked a girl to be his girlfriend, but that he would be upset if I kissed another guy. The second time, he was silent when I told him that "one of my friends was asking me what our status was". In other words, I kept putting pressure on him because he clearly wasn't that into me. I guess I shouldn't have slept with him so soon.

    Your case is most likely different. I'm sure you weren't stupid enough to rush into sex. I just read in "Why Men Marry Bitches" that you shouldn't bring up exclusivity because that will actually cause the boy to not want to make it official. However, I don't see why you can't do some investigation about it, as the male Anon. pointed out. No reason to waste your time on this guy if it's not really going anywhere.

    • yea.. that's what I'm afraid of. I did ask how he felt about having met me once. And said he was glad and that its evident by the fact that he is pursuing me and enjoys spending time with me. I just don't know where that is on the relationship scale or the I like you and like the sex scale. My friends are always asking if we are exclusive, and I never have an answer. I like the pace where things are going.. I just want the confirmation that we both see it heading in the same direction.

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    • its actually almost been about 3 months. which is why I'm pretty sure its exclusive. I've met his brother and best friends who already knew a lot about me. He spoils me like crazy. Its just that he got out of a serious relationship about 4 months prior to meeting me.. so I don't know how ready he is for a new one. sorry. I know just asking the question doesn't give ALL the background info on the situation :)

    • I see. I think guys just take longer to process their feelings than girls do. So...that said, good luck.

  • yeah for me I just asked him "do you want me to be your gf?". Also I think the facebook status change is a good thing, I did that with my guy too.

    • wow. that's ballsy. I don't know if I could be that forward lol