I would love to stay friends. If I had a crush on someone its because I like who they are and I enjoy having them around. I dont want to lose that. I can put my feelings aside for our friendship. Funny thing is... This actually just came up for me. I asked this girl out we dated before like 6 years ago but broke up because of family interference sadly. But we stayed friends since. So I asked her out and she said no I said ok I understand and just acted like it never happened. In my eyes she was still my friend and that was that. Nothing changed for me but 2 days later she told me she couldnt do it anymore. That she really cared for me and she was glad I was her friend but thats all she wanted to be and she blocked me on Facebook and no longer answers any of my calls or texts. And that was yesterday. Sadly once the cats out of the bag some people can't see things as what they were and it changes everything for them.
If the other person has always wanted to be more than friends, though, then what?
Are you talking about it as if the roles were switch?
I mean if the girl rejects the guy, but the guy has always wanted to be more than friends.
Those feelings will always be there. But like I said it changes nothing. It hurts yes but at least she knows where you stand. If she changes her mind later down the road then great! But if not then ok thats how she feels. Im not going to fault her for that nor do I want to lose some I call a good friend. Good friends a few and far in between.
Why in the world would you want to be friends? Seriously ask yourself? Most answers if you are honest is that YOU HOPE AND PRAY they will give you a chance if you are nearby. The only thing that will happen is you will watch them date other people and then they hit YOU up for advice or to lean on your shoulder or go out for coffee to discuss THEM. Never be friends with anybody who rejects you. My time personally is much more valuable then going through all that nonsense!
Well, I don't think you can be friends with someone who dumps you, but you might be able to be friends with someone who decides not to date you before you get started. They just have to understand that if they miss their chance they can't get mad if they change their mind later and you're with someone else, because then it's too late.
@Jamie05rhs I have enough friends don't you? And if you don't can't you find anybody better then someone who rejected you? I know I can.
@coachTanthony I wish all guys could think the way you think.
@coachTanthony Well, if you're not friends with them then what do you say when you run into them. Do you want to have to exchange icy glares and side-eyes for the rest of your life?
@Jamie05rhs You don't say anything, you walk on by. I don't owe them anything. It's not complicated bro. I don't worry about stuff like this in my life to begin with.
@rica_chicausa Thank you :+)-
A girl i asked out avoids relationships so she declined and i'm still friends with her.It doesn't always end up like anthony implies and no i don't have my hopes up since i know how to move on.
@Gopnik There will always be "one off's" to my opinion but for the most part if you are smart.. take my advice move on all together!
Thanks for the mHo
If you started out in a friendship why not remain friends. Every crush I ever had came out of a friendship and we are friends to this day (even those that got romantic) they are my closest friends. I confide more with them about relationships than I do my girlfriends. Some have rejected and some I have rejected but we kept our relationship. A couple had regretted not dating me by the time they wanted more I no longer saw them that way anymore and vice versa has happened... It's kind of a new rule I made for myself a few years ago if a friend or aquaintance has a crush I say and see if there is a possibility, especially with the friend maybe I'll see something in date mode that I don't when we're hanging out.
@Moonchild714 If you started out in a friendship why not remain friends.I don't disagree!
Only if he's already a valuable friend. If we get along and have a good connection why waste that. We've all had crushes, they come and go. If you're in love with the person then no, you can't be friends with someone you have strong feelings for. It's really self destructive. I would pause the friendship, work trough my feelings and then try to reconnect as friends again.
I wouldn't stay friends with anyone i ever saw in a romantic light. How will you get over them. if you see. them with someone else. and if they are. always in your mind?
Have an opinion?
Depends on the intensity of my attraction towards her. If the attraction was really really strong then I'd want to distance myself. But if it's just a small crush then I can make it go away. I've done it before. 👌
I wouldn't wanna be friends.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I decide to stay friends with her, then it's very likely that I'll still have those feelings for her deep down and it's not good for me nor her. My feelings weren't reciprocated, so I'm doing myself injustice if I ignore them and stay friends with her. Especially if I'm not okay seeing her with another guy. If I don't stay friends with her, then I'll deal with another strong pain. I might really miss her in my life. For me, I've been friends with a girl who nicely rejected me and I decided to remain friends. We remained friends for a while until I start to see that she's acting a little differently. I think deep down, it was hope that kept me staying friends with her. No matter what I thought, the reality was that I loved her. I couldn't act like I didn't even after she rejected me and we remained friends. So I kept getting frustrated after feeling like I'm not getting as much attention from her as I hoped I would. Maybe if I acted like a friend, I wouldn't feel so frustrated about it and that's probably because I wasn't really over her. Needless to say we're not friends anymore. I still think about her a lot though. :(It's a terrible experience in my opinion, but that's life I suppose.
I’d be ok with staying friends, however this has never been the case for me, even if I wanted it. I’ve been rejected by girls I stayed on good terms with, but we’d suddenly become less talkative & therefore less close. I was friends for several months with one girl I had a crush on, things were great, we hung out often and always messaged each other... but I came to really like her & asked her out on a date. She rejected me politely & said we should just stay friends. I was sad but cool with the idea, thinking at least it didn’t affect anything, but it did. We rarely saw each other anymore after that, she lacked enthusiasm in texting me & hanging out again, sometimes ignoring my messages for days, then months, then ever... pretending to be too busy to talk half the time... while incidentally hanging out with her other girlfriends & making it obvious online 😫 I got the picture though 😒We no longer see each other or even keep in touch, even though we’ve never been on bad terms. She’s merely become a friend from the past, by no coincidence starting from when I asked her out 😢
I went through somewhat a similar situation and the girl also started acting distant and not responsive. Did you get over her? 'Cause I'm still not over her and I'm still thinking about her. :(
@NoUsername9 I still remember her a lot & the good times we’ve had that haven’t been repeated since. I’d say I can survive without her presence nowadays, but it’d still be exciting to cross paths with her again to reflect on our friendship & maybe revive it. I’ve never seen her in person since the last time we were close friends, and it’s been too long now to suddenly text her like a random creep & ask her to meet up again 😓
How long has it been? It's been several months and I'm still not over her.
Ugh, roughly 3 years now 😓
But I wanna ask you, how are you feeling now?
I know you said you do think ablut her, but I want to know how serious is it like do you still get depressed thinking of her or are they just casual thoughts?
@NoUsername9 Mostly casual thoughts, but I do miss the fun times we’ve had, especially when no girl I’ve met since has offered me the same kind of friendship this last girl did
@NoUsername9 They don’t text me daily, they don’t invite me to hang out, they don’t join me for lunch during my break at work, etc.The only girl who did all this was the one I discussed above, but it was me trying to turn it into something more that supposedly drove her away, dammit 😓😭
Look, don't blme yourself for anything. In fact, I think if you didn't confess to her, you'd regret it even more. It seems like you're not assertive enough. I could be wrong, but judging from what you said, it seems like the girl you were friends with made all the moves to get you to be involved and you now think that it should be that way with everyone. Everyone's got a different personality. So instead of them joining you, nicely ask then to join you.
Can't/couldn't do it. It's hard trying to pretend like things are the way they use to be before feelings got involved and it just makes the entire friendship awkward. In that case it's not longer a friendship to me but an crush/unacquainted love situation. It's weird knowing the both of you know one likes the other more but the other doesn't feel the same, at that point how will you move on if you continue a "friendship" with them cause you're always around that person? Ignoring how you feel about that person and not be able to have them is almost like emotional torture. It's no different from dangling food in front of starving person and telling them they can't touch. And when the day comes when they finally bring a bf/gf around it will crush you, cause lets be honest and this is true for a lot of guys, a lot people tend to stay friends with a crush in hopes of them changing their mind about them. I don't want to put that kind of emotional stress on myself so distancing or cutting ties would only be a option for me.
My friendship with them is more important than fleshy desires. I have been treated badly by guys who didn't want to be friends first and get to know each other. And besides. I would NOT date somebody I never had this conversation with. You should never try going for somebody you know nothing about. I always call people who say they have a crush on me but don't want to be friends fake people. I would be glad I dodged a bullet.
Help no you wanted to be more than friends didn't you. So why would you settle for just friends? I'd pursue the hell out of that bitch just so she knows how much I wanna get with her... If that fails then talk to a shit ton of different chicks so you can get your dick wet and get over her afterwards. If the person didn't see how great you are in the first place then they are the ones who missed out big time. Have confidence and do whatever the fuck you want though
Well if she rejected you I don’t think she’s the one missing out 😂
If she rejected me then she blew it. I'm sorry but I have way to many qualities to be rejected
Hell at first word
If I asked her out on a date and she rejected and wanted to stay as friends, I will decline the offer. The only female friends I’ve got are ones that I’m not romantically interested in.I think girls get more butt hurt as much as guys do when they find out the guy is not willing to stick around. Friendship that will transition to something romantically serious is what I call Unicorn Osmosis. It only happens in books and movies.
No. it would be too awkward, painful, and humiliating. I mean, they'd probably think you're desperate and trying to grow on them. this is why I never approach guys. i'm just going to wait for the right guy to approach me. sooo… wish me luck.
I voted B. No way is she getting the benefit of my companionship without reciprocating my romantic advance.Many women tend to be users of men in this way than they care to admit.
How is being friends “using” somebody? And I’m pretty sure if she rejected you then she probably wouldn’t want to be friends anyway if you’re conceited. It’s not like she is required to be romantically involved with you.
I have had so many crushes that went nowhere, and I get over them just fine. And have wonderful friendships that last decades. And there is no longing for a chance, that desire just moves on.Most of my friends, and certainly most of my close friends, are women. I just get along with them better, and losing a friendship because that friend didn't want me that way? Yeah, I just don't get that...
Honestly I would have to try to move on because how do you just stay friends with someone you see as so much more than that, I mean everytime you see that person you'd just be reminded of the rejection, like it would be nerve wrecking and a little bit embarrassing
I wouldn't do it. If I have a crush on someone, it's usually with an interest beyond friendship. As a result, if my desire past friendship is rejected, then we can't be friends because that isn't what I want, and both parties have to agree to being friends.
staying friends with someone you like is FAKEyou dont want to be just their friend, you always want moreits healthier for you to stay away and not lead your feelings on
I used to have a big fat crush on a lad from high school. I asked him out as he was a friend of the families and we used to be cuddly and things which I suppose probably gave me the message that he liked me in that way. So I ask him out and he said 'erm, I think we should just be friends'. I felt confused and upset and a little embarrassed. Eventually I shrugged it off. We were mates but the cuddles stopped! :)
I don't understand why not honestly. Why would you not want to keep contact with someone you like that much? It's like when you get second place but still win a prize and you're like "no, I want the best prize or none at all".But what about the other way around? Someone you're not interested in has a crush on you, would you like to stay friends?
I strongly advise against it because eventually you are gonna see another persons tongue down their throat and doing everything you wish you could do with them. I've done this before and I just tortured myself.
Umm why? I can honestly say I have no female friends. Even tho I have a bunch on FB they're more like acquaintances.If I have a crush on someone and she says no we can't be friends. I feel like if we stay friends that only benefits her, and would only hurt me in the long run.And I don't know about you but I don't like feeling hurt.
I would still want to be friends. The crush developed through friendship, he may develope feelings in time but I will eventually get past the crush move on with someone else and be happy with our friendship.
Can't remember being in this situation and I do not " crush " on any woman , never had crushes since childhood. Hypothetically though , staying " friends " would be mental torture , the best way is to cut all ties , cease all contact , and move on. I have known of many women that take advantage of " friendzoned " guys , it is the guys own fault for enabling this parasitic behaviour.
I'm cool with that because at least we are still connected but for some reason other people are not I think that is based on drama
I agree with that.
I wouldn't be friends. I would be kind but I wouldn't be friends. I would not reply to their texts on time but I will reply. I will not answer their calls but I will talk to them face to face. We'll not be the same. That being said I will only ask someone out who's a friend if I was certain of her reaction to accept my proposal.
Seems like a lot of guys understand about the Friend Zone. It does nothing but make the hurt worsen. I would let the guy go and that's that.
I'd be opposed to it as it leaves me very vulnerable if they know I have feelings for them, and it also won't help those feelings go away if they come into my life, so I shut them out. No girl I've ever asked out wanted to be friends after rejecting me, anyways.
No, what's the point?I barely have time to see my REAL friends, adding another one on the list is too much effort for getting nothing in return.
Nope I can't be friends with someone I like, that means front row tickets of watching them date another guy. If I'm rejected fine, but don't ask to be friends. That's why I try to be careful with my true female friends... Ruin good friendships.
I completely cut off all contact with them and continue on with my life. It works pretty well as I've found I'll get over them almost immediately that way. Out of sight, out of mind.
I recently told a mate of mine that I fancied them, it went weird really quick, she kept blaming herself for the way I felt and stopped talking to me for like a week. After that I said that I didn't want anything to come between our friendship and forget that I said anything. We are still mates to this day
Depends on how strong my feelings are but generally I would like to stay friends if it is a person I have a really good friendship with.
I think it's a lot harder to pretend like you don't feel anything. I honestly would rather be ghosted, than have to see somebody i care about, go on with their lives like how I feel doesn't really mean much to them personally.
Because I had a Crush and circumstances might change for the better.
So that’s a yes?
Well I wouldn't care if they wanted to stay friends, but it would be super awkward and sometimes its just better to go your separate ways than to let that awkwardness effect the people around you.
there's nothing worse than someone calling you a friend while they know you are attracted to them. it's like death. so no.
Death could be a better alternative.
It is possible to stay friends after rejection. It depends on the maturity level of the people involved. Don't be surprised if the rejected person needs a little time to deal with their emotions and accept the reality of how things are.
Its absolutely possible. And I did do it. But if I had to do it all over again I would have walked away because I suffered silently watching him be everything to someone else I wanted him to be with me. It was self inflicted torture of my heart. Now if it had been just a simple physical attraction it wouldn't have been no big thing. But during our friendship I fell in love with him. So yes I may have done the mature thing as he didn't do anything wrong to lose my friendship. But at what cost to my heart?
I totally get where you're coming from. I have had to overcome those feelings myself. I did not mean to imply that it would be easy, just that it's possible. It requires the person who has been rejected to sincerely accept the reality of the situation and somehow find peace with it. If that's not possible then I agree with you, it is best to move on completely.
I’d probably be fine with it bc I’ve done it before and as long as I still like the person and they weren’t super rude about it I’d love to stay friends with them
Yeah i know, i have moved on but i don't mind being friends with her since she's genuinely a really nice person.And as of right now i'm going after different things.
I'll be okay with being friends from the start but if this was my case, I'd still be okay and try to value my self respect more.
Tried to value*
I have done this before. There have been 5 women I had a crush on and was rejected when I asked them out. I stayed friends with 4 of them. The 5th girl I parted ways with because once I told her I liked her she would tease me and joke about what type of boyfriend I would have made. I found out later that she was doing this in the hopes that I would do anything for our friendship. I would still talk with a girl, even after rejection, if things were not awkward after. Usually if I have a crush I will either say something right then or just let it go. I do not like torturing myself by keeping it bubbling.
Damn ur like me. I did this to a girl and she just left me. I did this recently to another girl and she said the same thing. I don’t like keeping it to my self because as u said it’s torture
Not a chance. Why would I? If it was a painful rejection, I wouldn't devalue myself and settle for a 'friendship' with that person.
Voted B. Rather stay away and move on - I don't need to beg for dregs of attention from someone who doesn't like me.
This happened to me a few years back. I was fine with the rejection. Life continued, but she act like I was somebody to avoided hated being around me, deleted blocked me.
Really hurt my feelings. Not that she wouldn't date me, but because of all the banter and friendship we had.
I mean, I’d be cool with staying friends. The way I see it, if you like someone why would you want them out of your life if y’all had a beautiful friendship?
I've never had a crush so I am not sure how to answer this. I do know that rejection does not phase me, so if it happened and we were friends before I'd have no problem staying friends.
Only if we were friends before, if we weren't then there's no reason to lie to ourselves about staying "friends"
No, wtf the feelings never go away and you'll always want more if you stay friends.
Depends. On relationship before, how they had acted. Every situation is different.
If it's just someone you've met then no but a real true friend is worth more than a rejection but I guess it would depend on how they said no to you as well
The best way is to run away. But I chose to stay friends. Until I find someone else then friendship may be over too. I know many rejecting people remain single. Karma is a bitch!
Depends how connected I was and what their reasoning was for and if it was justifiable for them rejecting me. If they reject me just because I happen to walk too much or whatever, then no.
Not interested. I'd just keep wanting to fuck her and be with her. To quote Lady Gaga, "I don't wanna be friends."
We could be friends but maybe later, I would need to keep my distance for few months to get over it.
It depends on how big the crush is but is mostly just try to stay friends. When I was younger I’d probably just leave.
Threw good question would be, can they endure me as a friend. Honestly in most cases it's a bad idea
I did it Before and it would be nice if it was a actual friendship.Only if I care about her I would perhaps stay.
As long as i get a clear no, i cn move on quick nd easily be cool with them. Part of the reason why it took me a long time to get over my last crush is bc when i asked him out or whatever, he never gave a complete yes or no. He just said he cn see us beimg together even tho he doesn't like me bc we ain't spend enough time together. But i still had a lot of hope but things went left. I'm pretty much over him now and im not mad and i could be friends with him but I'm not gonna try to force anything. If he wanna tlk to me then he cn approach me.
If you like someone, how many chances are their friends can like you too?To be friends is a really good thing, if you can.
Hmm. Maybe you're right.
I'd feel to embarrassed to stay friends. Yes my ego can be fragile sometimes.
I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone I’m attracted to
For me I would like tonsay yes bit voted no. Because lnowing that my feelings would get in the way.
Nope. Rejection is rejection. Why have it rubbed in your face on a daily?
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