What I mean by familiarity is having common grounds and similar environment/Upbringing.
I've never dated but I have spoken to quite a few suitors with the prospects of marriage, many of whom were great guys (successful, handsome, nice, religious etc), but I have noticed that lack of familiarity makes me feel less attached and attracted to the person.
Familiarity can manifest through different aspects (these criteria are not all cumulative)
1) Speaking the same native language at home
2) Having generally the same type of looks (so I guess being from the same race/ethnicity).
3) Having similar interests
4) Being from the same religion
5) Having the same education and similar youth etc
6) Having similar family background and social status.
7) Sharing the same or similar culture and traditions
I think this is kinda shallow of me but I can't help it. When my man first spoke to me in our native language, I suddenly felt less foreign and homesick, and I felt like re-found a piece of my joyful childhood. I want to transmit the values and childhood I inherited from my parents to my children.
After speaking to him and finding out how similar we are, it made me easily project in the future and consider him as a potential husband. Suddenly his looks stopped mattering as much to me (I still find him handsome though).
When I was younger I thought that "Love is above all and Love is enough to look past every difficulty". Nowadays I think it's kinda foolish to think only with your heart.
Love is very important, but you also need to think with your brain and analyse the relationship as a whole: Can it be viable in the long run once the fires of passion are gone?
For me, part of the reason why I love the current man I'm talking to is that I know he can be a good father and husband and that I feel in a familiar setting with him. Our common grounds will most likely lead to less clashes and fights which highers the prospects of success of the relationship.
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