Ok, very long story. I come from a family where I have 3 step siblings. 2 didn't live with us when we were little. The 3rd went into the army when I was 9. All of my siblings are 8-9 years or older than me. I dont really remember anything from my childhood as I blocked it all out (bullying). So I dont really consider the 3rd sibling as a brother because I dont remember/ know him like that. He's more of a close friend. He got depressed and I was helping him through it and then I started to like him as I got to know him and ik it's really fucked up and wrong and we had a conversation about it and he likes me and I like him but he's still blood related even if we dont see eachother like that and everytime i think of shit it's like a huge war in my head. What the fuck should I do cuz I'm in a fucking mess rn.