Anyone who makes me choose like that, will going to get dumped. I don't like receiving ultimatums. I'd not date a girl like that in the first place. I check her character before starting a relationship with them. I make sure that she won't leave me in a situation like this. I know my parents, they won't have problem with any girl unless it's serious. So, if a girl has problem with them, she'll have problem with my friends, my hobbies, my kids... basically everything in the future. My mom always tells me to choose my wife in such scenarios because she's my past and my wife will be my future. So, one can imagine how wrong a girl would be for having problems with a lady like her.
1. No one can "make" you choose. You decide to accede to their threats or you don't.2. If someone truly loves you and has tor best interest in their heart, they will not give you an ultimatum/choice.3. If you yield to someone who is trying to force you to choose, you are surrendering control of at least a part of your life. You will also probably resent that person for the remainder of your life.4. The only logical response to someone trying to force you to make a choice is to choose the other person, The one trying to force the choice must lose.
🙌 couldn’t have said it better myself
Need more info as to why they would do this. But, no, family is family and family is all you have. Unless you're family is toxic to you and you're relationship, then their is no need for you to choose one over the other. If this is a control issue withing in the relationship, then definitely pick your family and get out of the relationship immediately. People who try to control their relationships, try to turn the person against their families cause it's easier to manipulate them and get them to do whatever they want. If you push your family away, then your family won't have a reason to worry or come looking for you cause your partner has made it look like a choice you wanted.
My parents are deceased. But I have had boyfriends give that ultimatum when my parents/family were alive and if my brothers after my parents died my answer is Simple "Go To Hell!!! They were there from the moment I took my first breath where were you?" Anyone who gives me an ultimatum between them and others in my life I will ALWAYS CHOOSE THE OTHERS, because the OTHERS have NEVER given me an ULTIMATUM!!! And if anyone has ever had the Right to give me an Ultimatum its been my Family snd Life-long Friends!!!
Pinay_ako, thank you for MHO.
Have an opinion?
Parents eventhough that's just my father and I'm not super close to him. I just think it's an asshole move to make someone decide between them and someone else that is important to them. There are many other ways to handle this.
It would depend on the circumstances. If my parents were being difficult or unreasonable, then I'd choose my SO. If she was being difficult or unreasonable, then my parents.But in my family, the only real problem is my bitchy sister, and it's easy enough to ignore her or avoid her.
It depends on how weird your parents or the guy is. We all know all parents aren't perfect, and in fact, some can be real turd birds. But for the most part family is key, because where would we be without them? When you really are down who is there to pick you up? Is it your SO or your parents?
i'd help them pack up their shitI won't mind if she doesn't like my parents, i'd not see how that came to be, my parents are always super supportive of me/my girl/ us So with that in mind and she still manages to get to a point where they won't get along, its on her, her making me choose is her trying to start shit I've got no time for that and the fact that she even makes me make an impossible choice like that means she's gonna draw the short stick
Let's see: my parents who will always be there for me and brought me into this world... or a guy giving me an ultimatum about my parents? Yeah, he's gone- even if he's in the right about the situation, he shouldn't be making me choose between him and my family; that is VERY immature and won't make me want him.
They dont have to get along. They are not in the relationship together. And you should not try to force them to get along. However neither side should ever ask you to choose. It would be the one who tried to make me choose that I would be done with, because they clearly only care for themselves, not you.
In that situation, I'd choose my parents. My boyfriend and my parents absolutely hate each other. I have always struggled with this but I have always decided that in the event one side asks me to choose between them, I'd go with the others. We are all adults and we can all get along vividly and I'm not going to play silly games and be asked to choose a side. Whoever asks gets a flat out refusal
I would dump the S. O. My mother is literally the only person I am certain would die for me, and my mom is even more "love everyone" than I am, so if she doesn't like the girl that means I made a really bad choice.
this is so sweet
Well first, id like to know why he's making me choose. But my parents aren't bad people, so id choose them, because I know they wouldn't do something bad enough for my partner to make me choose.
I don't understand how grown adults who, presumably, no longer live with their parents even get themselves in these kinds of situations.My romantic life is my business, my family has never interacted with any of my partners, and that isn't going to change in the future.
This depends on why they don't get along. If your parents don't like your ex because of his religion or ethnicity or appearance, it's a tough call. If they don't like his behavior, they may have a good reason and you should pay attention.Mostly it comes down to your relationship with your parents. If you have a good relationship with them, then you should be wary of dating someone that doesn't like them.
I would turn it around with my own ultimatum: EitherA) Try to get along with them, or at least respect them, orB) GTFOI am the man I am today because of my parents. If you care about me, you would at least try to put some effort into getting along with them.
I dont respond well to ultimatums. Its one thing them not getting along. But to put our relationship on the line to choose between them, i wouldn't give them what they wanted. And i dont even have that close a relationship with my folks, its the principal
Call her bluff!!! Parents are 'Blood' and if she cannot find a way to relate, and make peace, then she cannot be with me.I don't expect her to love them, but as long as they live, she needs to accept, and respect, like i do, hers.
I'm choosing my parents. They're 2 of the most important people in my life, they've been here for me my whole life. Nobody is going to take their place. And somebody who truly loves me, wouldn't make me choose.
I would never allow a guy to put me in a position to choose between him and my parents, or between him and anyone, if he did he'd be the one gone that's being immature at the highest level.
There is no "makes me choose." If by that you mean she issues an ultimatum. I simply ignore it. If you mean something more like she refuses to go with me to visit them, well, that's a perfectly valid choice. She doesn't have to, and it's not my place to compel her, any more than it's her place to make me cut all ties.
I’d try to make things work or keep them apart but ultimately no dumb relationship means more than my mother who’s been with me since I was born
Amen baby girl
My so wouldn’t never make me choose between them and if he did it means he’s not the right one. If my parents can’t get along with him, considering how much I care for their opinion and trust them and how amazing they are, then it would be better for me if I dumped the guy
I would dump him.I do not do well with ultimatums. It my family. What a silly request to ask of someone. Like it that simple to cut ties with your roots.
Its a silly request, but sadly people are given that ultimatum eveyday and struggles with the turmoil...
@Moonchild714 well, I hope you make your choice and one you can live with.Xx
GraveDoll, I think you're confusing me with the person asked the question. I don't have a choice to make here. And in my statement I said what my choice would be.
I would never date a girl that would ask that question. I'll kick her out of my life asap.My parents are amazing, if they don't like the girl I'm dating, I'm dating the wrong girl. I just don't see the possibility of me dating a great woman and my parents not liking her.
End the relationship. The right partner will respect that family are family and eventually, you and them will be family. Take it from someone who's been there.
Parents. I may love the girl but peace in my family matters. Also my mom and I think a lot the same about people so if she objects then there is a red flag I missed.
I wouldn't be with them. My parents are amazing, any guy that doesn't like them is clearly not the one for me.
If a man is petty enough to make me choose between him and my parents, I'd break up with him on the spot. They don't need to like each other, as long as they show mutual respect. My parents also should respect my own decisions and I'd make sure they don't disrespect my partner.
There should be no choosing. An ultimatum is a huge no for me. My parents are a part of my life. They don't have to like my parents, but both sides need to tolerate each other because in the end I make my own decisions. I don't let people tell me who and who isn't going to be in my life.
I'll choose my future wife and won't dump my parents, now for why i choose the wife, it's because your married your forever married and thenwife becomes my family and a part of me physically and spiritually...Also a wife will leave her parents and even her kids if she had too cause the bond between her and her husband is sacred and they just can't live without each other 😊
I would break up with them for making me choose. If my parents didn’t like my boyfriend then I just wouldn’t bring him around them.
How can I choose between them? Will my s/o become my mom? I don't get it, you cannot give up your parents...
If they both love you then they need to make that their common ground to build a relationship. If your SO isn't willing to do that for you, do you really want to consider cutting out your family for that?
If he had real feelings for me he wouldn't give me that ultimatum...
At the end of the day it's my life and my happiness that matters. As a person who has been suffering from depression for longer than i can remember, I would choose the option that makes me the happiest.
Well typically id say choose family. Because thats typically not a good sign. But I dont have any contact with my so called family so I wouldn't care at this point
Have to let them go. My parents have been there for me every step of the way. They may not be perfect, but they're pretty damn great to me. She would have known this from early on. I am a momma's boy.
if someone is making me cut my parents that in itself means they are not so loyal and caring to me so i would just cut them off
If she's really forcing me into that position, her status as my SO isn't going to last long.
When i was 18 my mom. Told me the same thing. So I moved out and in with my girlfriend.My family never liked her anyways
Ur parents will always love you. As much as you think your boyfriend will (I’m guilty of it). Something will eventually happen.
Who do you spend most time with? Who do want your future with? Who do you want a family with? Who do want sex with? It is a touch choice, but family would come second.
If someone is making u choose then that’s a problem
I've been in several relationships like that and I've chosen my parents
Them any day of the week as long as you are married. If dating the loyal still falls with your parents and family.
Your long term partner is your future. Either choose a partner that fits with your parents, or prioritise your partner.
Well since I have no Parents choose S/O over my siblings. I choose S/O over friends too because im dating S/O not them.
Talk about a raw dealYour family is forever, your so-called S/O could walk out the door any day without so much as a goodbye.
I don’t speak to my parents at all so this would never turn into a problem
Well family means everything to me so they would be history family is everything to me
My parents if they can't handle them they can't handle me
it depends is it because your parents r too involved in ur relationship, or because ur parents dont like him?
That's easy as 1 2 3 I tell the girl you're out of here I'm choosing my mother and father all day everyday
*shrugs* sounds like this s/o is a fucking NAZI. I wouldn't call it a s/o
Remember this there is exactly 2 people on Earth that will love you Unconditionally Your mother and your Father... no 1 else will
i'm not going to stop seeing my family for anyone. i don't even like 60% percent of them.
You can say whatever you want, but if your so's parents hate you, your relationship is doomed.
People who give me ultimatums get one of their own.A: Stop giving me ultimatums and retract the one you just gave me.B: Get dumped.
I wouldn't date a woman like that in the first place.
100% bin off the s/o 😂 as my mum once said; "blood is thicker than water"
well that all depends, is she the love of my life or just another girl that i'm dating? have we been dating for weeks, months or years?
I would not choose. There is always a solution to this sort of problems.
I'll try to convince to stay together & then also the problem exists then i must end this relationship.
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